Page 5 | To let my dc get themselves cereal

cadburyegg · 2023-03-03T21:55:07+00:00

My dc are 8 and 5 and I told a friend our morning routine - they get dressed for school before going downstairs, I help the 5 year old a bit with his jumper and brush his teeth, then they help themselves to cereal whilst I get dressed. - 10 mins max. They don't use the toaster, or anything like that. But my friend said that I was being irresponsible, and that they still need supervision, and me being upstairs isn't good enough. He said that my 8 year old isn't mature enough yet. What do you think? AIBU? How old were your kids?

Ramekin · 04/03/2023 08:07

Mine are older now, but were fiercely independent as toddlers. I always felt cold food - sandwiches, cereal, yoghurts etc was one thing I could allow them to be independent with from a very young age, I think it was 2 or 3.
Similarly choosing their own clothes and getting dressed themselves from 2.

Other things I was (am) very strict and careful about, everyone makes their own risk assessments.

thumpsthewastrel · 04/03/2023 08:09

Erm, mine are 7 and 5 and I've just been woken up to bring them down for breakfast. My 7 year old said 'sorry Mum, you need to get up because it's the weekend and we don't want cereal today, we'd like Nutella pancakes and that means going in the sharp drawer!!'

Cereal and milk are perfectly fine and if that's what they were having I'd have happily lazed about in bed (I can hear them) for another half an hour. My 7 year old can also use a knife perfectly fine to do chocolate spread however I would't let them rummage around in the drawer without supervision (it's got a child catch) because I keep some really big sharp knives in there.

It's good to teach children a bit of independence in a safe way. Mine love getting their own breakfast, they play restaurants and set their little table themselves it's cute. As a pp said the worst thing that going to happen is they make a mess!

People baby children far too much. I was guilty myself with my eldest last year and I didn't even realise. I'd continued to cut up her food for her without even thinking because I was doing it for the younger one. It wasn't until she had a hot dinner at school (one occasion where she'd actually eat it!) and her lovely teacher pulled me aside and said she'd really struggled to cut her own food. Generally her motor skills are excellent, she writes beautifully etc so the teacher was confused. I had a total head in hands moment and told the teacher in a bit of horror that I was still cutting her food but obviously shouldn't be - it just hadn't occurred to me to stop! Teacher laughed (nicely) and said I wasn't the first!

I have obviously stopped doing that now!

liveforsummer · 04/03/2023 08:11

Mine were both making toast at those ages - cereal is absolutely fine!

Igniteyourbones · 04/03/2023 08:19

Not unreasonable. My 8 year old makes her own scrambled eggs on toast (with me in the room for that one). But my children love to make their own breakfast in the morning - they are aged 6-11 and make cereal, toast/bagels, crumpets, microwave porridge.

Awumminnscotland · 04/03/2023 08:28

Hi Op. How does your friend know your child is not mature enough when you have clearly assessed that she is? Does your friend get his children's breakfast for them every day?

Griefgood · 04/03/2023 08:39

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 03/03/2023 22:00

Hmm, you’re not the poster who was pissed off with their husband, are you?

Hmm 🤔

TheodoreMortlock · 04/03/2023 09:06

My 8yo is very significantly behind on 'self care' / life skills due to SEND and pours her own cereal. Your friend is a loon OP.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 04/03/2023 09:07

Mine are 4 and 6 and do that....

They've been down since 8ish watching cartoons (netflix kids) and I'm still in bed. Your friend is denying her children an opportunity for independence which will have a direct consequence on their self esteem. They're also learning team work, self reliance and negotiating/conflict resolution skills.

And I get to lie in. It's win-win.

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/03/2023 12:30

thumpsthewastrel · 04/03/2023 08:09

Erm, mine are 7 and 5 and I've just been woken up to bring them down for breakfast. My 7 year old said 'sorry Mum, you need to get up because it's the weekend and we don't want cereal today, we'd like Nutella pancakes and that means going in the sharp drawer!!'

Cereal and milk are perfectly fine and if that's what they were having I'd have happily lazed about in bed (I can hear them) for another half an hour. My 7 year old can also use a knife perfectly fine to do chocolate spread however I would't let them rummage around in the drawer without supervision (it's got a child catch) because I keep some really big sharp knives in there.

It's good to teach children a bit of independence in a safe way. Mine love getting their own breakfast, they play restaurants and set their little table themselves it's cute. As a pp said the worst thing that going to happen is they make a mess!

People baby children far too much. I was guilty myself with my eldest last year and I didn't even realise. I'd continued to cut up her food for her without even thinking because I was doing it for the younger one. It wasn't until she had a hot dinner at school (one occasion where she'd actually eat it!) and her lovely teacher pulled me aside and said she'd really struggled to cut her own food. Generally her motor skills are excellent, she writes beautifully etc so the teacher was confused. I had a total head in hands moment and told the teacher in a bit of horror that I was still cutting her food but obviously shouldn't be - it just hadn't occurred to me to stop! Teacher laughed (nicely) and said I wasn't the first!

I have obviously stopped doing that now!

@thumpsthewastrel

“Erm, mine are 7 and 5 and I've just been woken up to bring them down for breakfast. My 7 year old said 'sorry Mum, you need to get up because it's the weekend and we don't want cereal today, we'd like Nutella pancakes and that means going in the sharp drawer!!'”

lol I’d have been like ‘sorry son, it’s cereal or nothing!’ And head back to bed