To let my dc get themselves cereal

[cadburyegg]

My dc are 8 and 5 and I told a friend our morning routine - they get dressed for school before going downstairs, I help the 5 year old a bit with his jumper and brush his teeth, then they help themselves to cereal whilst I get dressed. - 10 mins max. They don't use the toaster, or anything like that.

But my friend said that I was being irresponsible, and that they still need supervision, and me being upstairs isn't good enough. He said that my 8 year old isn't mature enough yet.

What do you think? AIBU? How old were your kids?

8 and 5 I don't see why you can't be getting dressed upstairs whilst they're pouring themselves a bowl of cereal.
I could see her point if they were taking hot stuff out of the toaster or making themselves a cup of tea, but cereal?! Nah nothing wrong with that

Ooh Noln, has he ever burnt himself? I just came on to say my youngest was happily helping himself to muesli at age 5...then the little bugger decided he wants porridge every morning and I have to make it for him 🙄. Now he's getting on for 8, perhaps I should start talking him through making his own porridge? 🤔

If any of mine (bar the two with disabilities) couldn’t sort cereal solo at 8 I’d have failed Somewhere

it’s cereal ffs. The hardest bit is not spilling the milk if it’s a full-ish carton.

i used to be the chair of a charitable [re school group and one of the ofsted inspection criticisms was that the 2-4 year olds should pour thir own cereals and milk

Our dentist days 20 mins after breakfast.

DS who has learning difficulties and poor fine motor skills was doing his own cereal by 8 years old. His little brother was 4 at the time and got really annoyed when I did his cereal so he learnt at the same time. It means I can get up later.

Yanbu at all.

YANBU.

Having said that my 8 year old gets far too milk happy sometimes when left to it. Usually ends up being wasted. 😩

Not a problem for me, but then I’ll leave my 16 year old unsupervised overnight and I’ll have one moving away this year at 18.

I’m shocked at the lack of responsibility and freedom that parents give their children. Making a mess while learning skills is ok, what else can happen doing that breakfast.

What does your friend expect you to do? Take them upstairs with you into the bathroom like a baby or toddler?!

Well my 5yo gets herself cereal and my 10yo makes herself pancakes, so I imagine an 8yo would be somewhere between the two 🤷🏻‍♀️

My dc do that, same ages too! They can sometimes make a mess but I just think they need to learn. They also clean up the spills.

Do people brush their teeth before breakfast?

Maybe I'm missing a trick here that might make it easier when they're half asleep, thanks OP!

Also good for you, they sound very independent, unless they're downing whole grapes they don't need constant supervision.

Mines been making her own breakfast since about 6 years old.

We clean our teeth before breakfast.

My 6 and 8 year old make their own cereal and their own toast. My 8 year old also makes her own hot chocolates ( supervised by me )

I wondered if they were too young for the toaster but my 8 year old has been learning to use toasters at school so I assume we're on the right track

Of course they can. Honestly it’s “life skills”. You are supposed to be teaching independence not learnt incompetence. Mine could do cereal in y1.

Yanbu

My two were getting their own cereal by about 5. It’s a game changer in the morning, at the weekends particularly, and great for them to have that little responsibility.

Is your friend also my MIL?

My 4,5 year old Dd has been doing this for ages 🤷🏻‍♀️I actually prefer doing it as it’s easier and quicker, but she really wants to do it independently, so I encourage it. She does oats/cereal and milk, fruit, toast with peanut butter etc. I’ve drilled it into her to never touch the plug or stick anything in the toaster. She puts the toast in, pushes it down and waits after it’s popped up, until it’s cooled, she gets drinks of milk, water etc. I’m always around though, generally not upstairs. I wouldn’t lie in bed yet at this age, whilst she’s alone (in terms of toaster etc)

Our 3 year old loves to do his own cereal with his 14 yr old brother each morning. I'm still plodding about doing housework but they manage fine and now our twins try to do there cereal and there 2...But no way would I encourage the toaster with the 3 young ones yet

My 8 yr old makes herself scrambled egg or porridge in the microwave. Cereal is fine.

I had part time after nursery care of a 1 year old by eleven. I'm sure kids can manage cereal.

Does you friend have a toddler or young preschooler (eg just turned 3)?
If he doesn't have much experience with children then maybe he doesn't realise how much children mature between that age and 5.

Worst that can happen spilt milk and cereal, maybe a bit too much or too little for breakfast but I’m sure they regulate that if really hungry by lunch. At a huge push knocking bowl and breaking it but presumably they know if something breaks tell you and don’t try to tidy or you have plastic.

My DD9 makes me coffee when I'm working, makes toasted bagels, uses the microwave. Through myself and teachings at the school she knows what's safe and not. Your kids getting cereal is completely harmless to anyone - I never know cereal was so dangerous xx

The thing is, unless you are supervising the children every single second they are at home, they could take it upon themselves to make toast at literally any moment. Such is the way of children.

Fortunately, most of them also lack the necessary ingenuity and advanced technical skills to successfully create a toast-based inferno, particularly if they need to work covertly and at speed. It is in fact quite difficult to do and far beyond the capabilities of the average child.