How pissed off (if at all) would you be about this?

[MyBloodyBrother]

DH normally works 4 days a week in the office, 1 day at home. He normally is at home Monday then at work Tuesday-Friday. Work is 200 miles from home so he gets the train up and has a flat near work. Train takes about 3 hours.

This week he went up on Monday as the train was running a slower route Tuesday and planned to come back tonight. He’d told dc’s he’d be back for when they wake up on Friday as his train doesn’t normally get him back until 11pmish. We don’t normally speak during the week but regularly WhatsApp and dc1 WhatsApps him and plays an online game with him on his phone during the week too.

In text conversation yesterday and today I asked him what time he’d be home today. Neither time he answered but I’d asked other questions too so I had no reason to think he wasn’t, he normally only tells me if time/ day has changed. I messaged him 10 mins ago asking if he’d got the later train. I struggle to sleep before he’s home because I can’t properly relax until the deadlock is on the door. He replied to say he’s still at work, he’s had a shit day and that he’d be back tomorrow evening instead.

I’m thoroughly pissed off. Not only did he not tell me he wasn’t coming home until I asked 3 times but tomorrow morning the DC will come bowling in to see him and he won’t be here. Dc2 gets so excited about him coming back and always has a little list he’s written of everything he wants to tell him/ ask him. If he’d told me sooner I could’ve managed expectations and it would be a lot less upsetting. The DC are still awake when the last train leaves London which he knows. I can understand him not having enough time to phone us but he doesn’t have the kind of job where he’s unable to use his phone to send a quick text.

He’s never done this before and it’s really out of character.

I'm sorry OP but this situation is just strange. You've got young children and you don't communicate at all by voice call for the entire week while he's gone? Is this job bringing in a 6 figure income that makes it worth it for you both?

I'm afraid this situation just screams affair all over it.

I hope he is home soon op and you can get some answers.

Op, why have you got two threads about this, but with different information in? Your other thread says that h has form for ignoring you when he's away and that you split up over it. You also say he's blocked you so he can't read your messages.

It would be helpful if you had included all that here.

Either way, it doesn't sound good. I hope you manage to resolve things - and for the sake of your dc, who must be feeling confused. Your h sounds like an inconsiderate twat.

We both work in a job which involves resuscitating people. It’s high stress, unpredictable, long hours, antisocial hours and our plans are regularly abandoned because people are at high risk of dying.

We still have to communicate about this stuff, no matter what else is happening. That’s how it is when you have children.

I’d be sympathetic and checking in with him because it’s unusual and I’d be concerned (rather than suspicious) - but he needs to know he can’t do this again.

This changes things somewhat

Other thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4755479-i-think-my-husband-has-blocked-me

@MyBloodyBrother so from your other post, you already suspect he's having an affair.
Him not wanting to hear from his family because 'it's too stressful' for him and you feeling as if he treats you like a maid and nanny, together with not coming home, speaks volumes I'd say.

I think I’d wait until he’s back and you can discuss in person. Maybe something bad is happening at work he doesn’t want to text you about. I wouldn’t overly worry about the kids, disappointment is an important life lesson

This sounds like an awful situation. I'd be struggling to decide if I was furious or worried sick from the information here, but it sounds like there's other stuff too.

I agree. I'd be very worried but then when I know he's ok, I'd go absolutely ballistic. Assuming he is ok, there's a lot more to this than meets the eye. Sorry Op. Hope you & your DCs are ok.

According to your other thread:

You've split up before over the way he treats you when he works away.
You've long suspected he's having an affair but have buried your head in the sand.
He doesn't like being called during the week as it "stresses him out".

And he's now blocked you completely and you locked him out last night before taking a sleeping tablet and going to bed.

Would it not have been more helpful to include all the backstory in your OP?

Sorry, assumed this thread was dead and as it was about something different I started a new thread.

It's not really different. It sounds like there are major issues. I hope you're OK.

There were major issues which I thought we had sorted. He seemed completely different since we got back together again and I, stupidly, genuinely thought he realised what he’d lost and would never consider doing it again. Clearly I was wrong.

I would have been upset and let him know that! He would also have been really apologetic and I’d have forgiven him.

If it doesn’t happen often, let him know why it wasn’t okay and then if he responds appropriately , let it go. We all mess up sometimes and sounds like he is normally reliable.

Sorry I missed the updates, that’s obviously a totally different situation.