Aibu to feel like others don't understand my parenting journey

[LikeEmeraldeyes]

I'm the parent whose child is on the floor crying at school pick up. The journey to the car seems mammoth. Where other parents just look on bemused.

I'm the parent who says no and waits to be thumped.

I'm the parent whose kid istill up at 10pm.

Im the parent who dreads playdates. Who can't go to nandos, or soft play or lego land.

I'm the parent who dreads the fallout of class parties or supermarket trip.

The parent who has bought EVERY flavour of kids toothpaste in existence.

I'm the parent who is tired and poor and feeling sorry for myself. Tonight, life sucks

How do I tag mods to fix my post? No idea why it's gone crazy!

I'm so sorry op

Any assessments taking place?

I’m also that parent and today (and all this week) life sucks too. Just know you’re not alone x

He's been diagnosed with autism. It's fine. But it doesn't make life any easier. Keeping him safe is a mammoth task in itself. If I leave the room he decides to make a drink (and spill it). Or climb on something or goodness knows what

OP loads of parents do.

The things you describe really are not unique. They are hard but there are lots of people who understand.

I'd suggest you go over to the SEN boards though as AIBU can be a bit brutal.

It should be unique. Why are so many kids in society so unhappy? It's a travesty. He's six and threatens to kill himself on a weekly basis

@LikeEmeraldeyes I bet you're using a Samsung phone? Workaround fix for a notorious problem here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4684524-big-paragraphs-appearing-when-i-try-to-reply-to-threads?page=4

And for how tough things are. I'm sorry you're going through it.

I am about to go to bed but don't want to read and run.

It should not be common but it is. There is nothing you can do about that.

Focus on your child. What is making him feel that way?

You have a diagnosis but does he have an EHCP? Pick your battles with everything else. If he is not under an OT make sure you get a referral as they are , in my opinion, a godsend.

Go to the SEN boards, you will get a wealth of experience and advice and sympathy there.

I'm not going to try and patronise you, or try to offer advice, but just wanted to send some hugs. I know it doesn't help but just wanted you to know someone is thinking about you. Keep strong x

It's frustratingly complex but he was first flagged at 12 months old for having some developmental issues. Nothing happened until we paid for his assessment. We also habent been able to get an OT referral so have just paid for one of them also. All on credit cards, I might add. Those two assessments have cost 3k alone

No ehcp in place and I'm too tired to apply for.dla.

He's just moved school as the last one was appalingly unsupportive. We've moved him down a year group so We shall see

My advice? Find your tribe. I'm that parent too and what makes it easier is finding other parents who are either in the same boat or who have actual empathy rather than the head-tilting "I couldn't cope, I don't know how you do it" sort of empathy.

Have you tried Oranurse toothpaste? My dentist recommended it, it's unflavoured and non-foaming and is the only toothpaste my DC will tolerate. He uses an electric toothbrush too because the buzzing gives him sensory feedback.

When he was small we used to choose our days out carefully. Sunny, hot day? Soft play because it would nearly empty. Rainy or cold day? Outdoor attraction because it would be nearly empty. DC didn't care, they just wanted to go to softplay/the zoo/bowling/the fair.

I would strongly recommend apply for an EHCP, get new school on the case and then they can take the lead on the application process. A solid EHCP can improve matters so much.

I'd also recommend applying for the DLA. Citizens Advice and lots of local autism support groups will help you with filling it in, Citizen's Advice wrote the entire form out for me the first time I applied on behalf of DS. You usually get a few weeks to return it so if you do fill it in yourself, do it in short bursts of a section or two a day.

I know both of these things feel like mountains but they do make a difference.

My child’s autistic as well, join a Facebook group many people have autistic children.
You are far from alone.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I do not pretend to remotely understand your parenting journey. Me being a parent gives me no right to judge. Our experiences are not the same.

I am sorry that life just feels shit and hard right now.
I will be hoping this new school is more supportive.