Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I an annoying patient at a&e??

90 replies

purplellama3 · 02/03/2023 22:11

I recently saw a thread on here with a similar situation and the replies to it made me question if my response to my situation was normal or not!

I was in a horrible accident recently and had to be taken to hospital on a board and neckbrace. I had hurt my hip and they were concerned it was broken. I was really upset, in a lot of pain, frightened as I wasn’t allowed anyone with me (Covid times) and on morphine so probably slightly overly emotional on top of it all!

I had been really quiet as I was honestly so frightened, and I remember at one point there was several doctors and nurses around me doing checks and the doctor said to the nurse something about getting my trousers off and putting a hospital gown on round me. The nurse started to help me and I have no idea what happened to me but I suddenly freaked out and was hysterical about it. I was SO paranoid about anyone seeing my body (even though I know they’re not actually looking at me!) but I suddenly starting panicking and crying out and was completely inconsolable. I honestly don’t know if it was just the emotions of the situation or the morphine but I was completely hysterical about it and I felt so scared and embarrassed. The nurse was absolutely lovely and helped me so much and eventually I calmed down and everything was fine. I actually wrote in praising her for how kind and compassionate she was throughout my night there

thankfully everything was fine and my hip was badly bruised not broken, but I was so embarrassed about my reaction. I don’t know what came over me- I usually wouldn’t say boo to a ghost and I’m really shy but I completely freaked out and my reaction surprised me because I didn’t expect it at all and I don’t know why I was suddenly so upset. I could hear the beeping like crazy and my heart was over 140 from panicking!

after I went home I put it out of my head and tried to forget it as I completely made a fool out of myself and the whole thing was a horrible memory. But I saw a post on here of someone who was embarrassed about showing their legs at hospital and some of the comments said it was ridiculous etc. I suppose it got me wondering- I know my reaction wasn’t normal as such, but will I have been that difficult person that everyone thought was really annoying or dramatic? I’m a stresshead and I hate the thought of being difficult or annoying especially to healthcare staff who were only trying to help me. Was my reaction that bad and unusual? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Wowzel · 02/03/2023 22:14

I work in A&E - honestly, try not to give it a second thought, this sort of thing happens all the time. It's not usual to be in the situation where a group of strangers need to take or cut off your clothes and it can be really stressful.

You won't have been annoying at all.

Hope you are ok now!

AlizeeEasy · 02/03/2023 22:14

You were in an incredibly stressful and scary situation, you weren’t in control of your reaction. Be kind to yourself and try not to worry about what the staff might have thought, they see people in their worst moments, I’m sure your reaction is no where near the worst they have witnessed. I hope you are doing better now

justgettingthroughtheday · 02/03/2023 22:15

Sounds like you were in shock. You had been through a traumatic event. Being strapped to those boards and unable to move is scary. Your reaction was totally normal and ok. The medics would have seen it hundreds of times before and none of them would have judge you for it.

PillBoxes · 02/03/2023 22:17

Hospital staff have seen EVERYTHING and in my experience the last thing they are is judgmental.

I think it was a normal reaction to the shock of what happened to you so I wouldn't worry about it.

When you think of the abuse they get from drugged or drunk etc. patients, you have nothing to worry about at all. It is playing on your mind though, and that can happen when you relive things in your head, but honestly, try to move on and be thankful for the wonderful care you got (I know you are), and the fact that your hip was not broken.

It was pure shock IMO.

Toffeeappler · 02/03/2023 22:18

It’s a really common reaction, they won’t have judged you at all x

GoKartMozart · 02/03/2023 22:21

Morphine has some weird effects as well. You could blame most of it on that alone. Don’t overthink it.
Hope you’re recovered

Marblessolveeverything · 02/03/2023 22:21

Put your mind at ease between shock, morphine and adrenaline it is no surprise to a&e.

You were injured this reaction was part of the injury. What would you say to a friend who asked the same question? We are always so hard on ourselves.

FTMFML · 02/03/2023 22:22

Not at all ❤️
Very common- A&E nurse 👍

FrozenGhost · 02/03/2023 22:22

Just try to forget about it. I work in A&E and that happens so many times per day. I can't blame the patients, no one likes to be hurt and in pain and of course it's upsetting to be there.

And even if some staff were annoyed for a few seconds (not saying they definitely were but just say) they would have forgot about it straight away because it's a normal part of their day. You definitely wouldn't have been the subject of conversation over the water cooler or around the dinner table later, like "oh you wouldn't believe this patient we had today..." if that's what you are worried about.

Handmaid2019 · 02/03/2023 22:23

I'm a nurse and your reaction is completely normal! You were scared, alone and totally understandable.

Glad that you had a lovely compassionate nurse looking after you.

minou123 · 02/03/2023 22:23

It's completely normal reaction to the stress and shock you were under.

Be a bit kinder to yourself

I hope my story makes you feel a bit better.
A little bit different, but I had an operation on my knee. After the op, they were waking me up from the anaesthetic.
I remember crying and wanting my "mummy".

There I am, a 40 year old women, boo hooing and asking for my mummy 😁 it seemed perfectly rational at the time.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/03/2023 22:23

Why are you even worrying about this now?

stop trying to create a drama out of something in the past that you can’t change anyway…

FadedRed · 02/03/2023 22:25

oh lovey, do stop worrying about it, your reaction was due to shock, stress and the drugs, nothing more. The A&E staff have seen it all, and more than most people could imagine, and your reaction was just all in a days work, they will just have been pleased they could help you in a difficult situation and that you weren’t seriously affected by your accident. Don’t give it another thought.

Casmama · 02/03/2023 22:29

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/03/2023 22:23

Why are you even worrying about this now?

stop trying to create a drama out of something in the past that you can’t change anyway…

Aren't you a delight!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/03/2023 22:29

When I was in A&E with my head taped down, I went the other way and became very poshly assertive/stroppy - I remember telling my idiot wittering boyfriend (who had put me there as a result of being a shit driver) 'Matthew? Can you please just shut up now, there's a dear?' in my best Audrey fforbes-Hamilton voice whilst being incredibly polite to the staff. You could hear sniggering from the next cubicle - and I'm pretty sure the consultant took a moment outside to compose himself before entering immediately after I remonstrated with a piss head shouting about how they were all a bunch of 'not white' cunts because he'd been there for over an hour without morphine.

I still cried when the nurse brought a bedpan, though. But they were all lovely to me, (even though I was being a cartoonish dick through the medium of prospective tetraplegia) and were genuinely happy for me when I walked out with only a collar and longitudinally fractured front face of the 2nd cervical vertebrae.

You were fine. They weren't bothered, it's natural to be distressed.

thesurreymum · 02/03/2023 22:29

I remember a couple of years ago I was in A&E with suspected appendicitis, they gave me morphine and from the moment it kicked in I was an absolute wreck, sobbing my eyes out, slurring my words, could barely stand. I wouldn't worry about it xx

purplellama3 · 02/03/2023 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 02/03/2023 22:31

I have absolutely no doubt that A&E staff can tell the difference between someone genuinely freaking out due to the horrible situation they are in and someone who's just being a pain in the arse. Try not to worry as you were clearly in the first category.

Nimbostratus100 · 02/03/2023 22:32

you are over thinking it

I was on morphine in hospital at Christmas, and thought father Christmas was real, and trying to recruit me into his pyramid scheme

The emotions are just part of the results of the accident and medication, and the staff deal with them all the time

Coffeeandnaps · 02/03/2023 22:33

If it makes you feel any better I did way worse than you.

Suspected broken pelvis. Given hard-core painkillers and gas and air. Completely uncharacteristically I was absolutely convinced the doctors and nurses were trying to kill me and was desperately trying to get away and trying to fight them off. They were having to hold me down because obviously running away on a broken pelvis is not a good idea. The more they tried to stop me the more it fuelled me thinking they were trying to kill me. In the end they had to sedate me.

Must have been a reaction to the drugs, if you knew me you'd probably say I was the least likely person to ever do something like that.

I was absolutely mortified afterwards and they were so lovely and kind and understanding and said these things happen all the time.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 02/03/2023 22:33

I was in hospital about a year ago, very ill. Suddenly a lot of nurses and drs came in and said that they needed to get me to surgery now. They just started pulling off my clothes and I got really upset being stripped naked in front of a crowd, a Dr was there telling me that I was seriously ill, will be going to icu and will need to be ventilated after surgery and that they were going to call my dh in for me and did I want to call my children quickly. I look back at that time and think wtf and feel so embarrassed because some of the reactions I had just weren't me at all(at one point I asked the Dr why he was trying to scare me, did he get a thrill from it and that I obviously wasn't as ill as he was making out Blush) but I think you need to be kind to yourself. Hospitals are scary and stressful and there is so much going on there. I don't really know what I mean to say other than you are not alone ❤

JMSA · 02/03/2023 22:33

Aww, you're totally fine OP. The difference between you and a genuinely annoying, pain in the arse patient is that they wouldn't give their behaviour a second thought. Nor would they think they had done anything wrong.
Be kind to yourself SmileFlowers

Thedogscollar · 02/03/2023 22:35

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/03/2023 22:23

Why are you even worrying about this now?

stop trying to create a drama out of something in the past that you can’t change anyway…

Yeah and manners and a bit of bloody compassion WouldBeHandy too.

OP I am a midwife different to your experience in A&E but also worked there as a nurse. Given the circumstances your reaction is so understandable. I see it on a daily basis in my work. We do it everyday, you don't, please don't think you were judged we are there to care for you not pass judgement.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 02/03/2023 22:35

Not sure about the voting, I think I probably did it wrong, but you were in a stressful situation, and probably scared and distressed, so don’t worryNot sure about the voting, I think I probably did it wrong, but you were in a stress situation, and probably scared and distressed, so don’t worry.

Original poster
purplellama3 · 02/03/2023 22:37

Thank you all so much seriously I feel so much better now, I was worrying myself silly about it!

your stories have actually really cheered me up- especially about Father Christmas and the pyramid scheme 😂 I’m glad to hear the reaction I had wasn’t unusual or abnormal. I wasn’t actually rude or argumentative to anyone I was just completely hysterical and crying and begging them not to go near me, they were all a bit shocked because I had barely spoken a word before that! It was like someone flipped a switch in my brain.

not sure how I escaped any serious injuries to be honest. My horse fell on top of me- 500kg of horse on my hip and torso and yet came away with just bruises. Someone was definitely looking out for me that day!

OP posts: