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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I an annoying patient at a&e??

90 replies

purplellama3 · 02/03/2023 22:11

I recently saw a thread on here with a similar situation and the replies to it made me question if my response to my situation was normal or not!

I was in a horrible accident recently and had to be taken to hospital on a board and neckbrace. I had hurt my hip and they were concerned it was broken. I was really upset, in a lot of pain, frightened as I wasn’t allowed anyone with me (Covid times) and on morphine so probably slightly overly emotional on top of it all!

I had been really quiet as I was honestly so frightened, and I remember at one point there was several doctors and nurses around me doing checks and the doctor said to the nurse something about getting my trousers off and putting a hospital gown on round me. The nurse started to help me and I have no idea what happened to me but I suddenly freaked out and was hysterical about it. I was SO paranoid about anyone seeing my body (even though I know they’re not actually looking at me!) but I suddenly starting panicking and crying out and was completely inconsolable. I honestly don’t know if it was just the emotions of the situation or the morphine but I was completely hysterical about it and I felt so scared and embarrassed. The nurse was absolutely lovely and helped me so much and eventually I calmed down and everything was fine. I actually wrote in praising her for how kind and compassionate she was throughout my night there

thankfully everything was fine and my hip was badly bruised not broken, but I was so embarrassed about my reaction. I don’t know what came over me- I usually wouldn’t say boo to a ghost and I’m really shy but I completely freaked out and my reaction surprised me because I didn’t expect it at all and I don’t know why I was suddenly so upset. I could hear the beeping like crazy and my heart was over 140 from panicking!

after I went home I put it out of my head and tried to forget it as I completely made a fool out of myself and the whole thing was a horrible memory. But I saw a post on here of someone who was embarrassed about showing their legs at hospital and some of the comments said it was ridiculous etc. I suppose it got me wondering- I know my reaction wasn’t normal as such, but will I have been that difficult person that everyone thought was really annoying or dramatic? I’m a stresshead and I hate the thought of being difficult or annoying especially to healthcare staff who were only trying to help me. Was my reaction that bad and unusual? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Monoplane · 03/03/2023 00:01

TabbyBeast · 02/03/2023 23:49

My best friend is a nurse and she would have just been pleased she was able to help reassure you.

I had a steroid injection into my hip and suddenly just became overwhelmed, started crying and asked the nurse if she could hold my hand. She did, bless her, and had a wonderful line of small talk.

Hope the thread has put your mind at ease x

Steroid injections are SO painful! I wasn't expecting it because I just got the usual 'sharp scratch' and it felt like I'd just been punched very, very hard.

OP - that would absolutely send me batty. It must have been incredibly traumatic. It sounds like you're still trying to process it. It helps to talk and get it out into the light.

I had an operation once where I spent ages and ages going over and over it in my head because it was so creepy. It took me about two years to stop. Nothing unusual happened. It was just so intrusive, it gave me the shakes every time I thought about it.

TicTac80 · 03/03/2023 00:03

Another nurse here (not A+E though!). You’ve nothing to worry about. You didn’t do anything wrong at all!

if it makes you feel better, I cried when they put the patient wristband on me! I wasn’t on any meds, but was admitted with pre-eclampsia and it was the first time I was a patient (after always being the HCP!). I burst into tears and kept saying, “but I’m not a patient, I’m staff!!!!”. When they gave me gas and air, I tried offering it to the MW (“perk of the job!”). I was so off my tits, but I kept offering to help them out if they were short on the ward. I was mortified afterwards!! Sadly, this happened in the hospital I work in, but I did go and apologise to the L&D staff when I was less squiffy.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 03/03/2023 00:04

@808Kate1 I'm sorry but I've actually just cried with laughter at 'who's shat in your handbag'.

What a phrase!

dunBle · 03/03/2023 00:09

There was an episode of 24 Hours in A&E fairly recently where a woman had broken her ankle so badly that it had come through the skin, and her foot was hanging off at a very funny angle. They had to put her on ketamine to set it in the correct position temporarily before sending her up to surgery, in order to make sure that she didn't do any further damage to the nerves, blood vessels etc. The combination of the ketamine and the pain as they had to manipulate her foot really set her off, and as she flailed she hit one of the doctors/nurses in the face. Once she came back down she didn't even realise she'd done it, and was very apologetic for being "feisty" as the senior nurse put it, but they told her not to worry about it. In comparison, your reaction wasn't that bad at all.

MavisMcMinty · 03/03/2023 00:18

YANBU, and how lovely of you to write a thank you letter to the nurse, they really are appreciated, for a lot longer than a box of chocolates too.

CC4712 · 03/03/2023 00:32

OP- you said this accident happened recently, then said it was during 'covid times' and no one could visit. How long ago was this incident???

If this is still affecting and you are thinking about it all the time, I'd speak to your GP about getting CBT or another support to come to terms with what happened.

Given that the nurse was so caring and lovely, I hope you returned with a thank you card or letter to her manager and chocolates/nice coffee etc as a thank you?

evemillbank · 03/03/2023 00:42

Totally normal!

oakleaffy · 03/03/2023 00:52

GoKartMozart · 02/03/2023 22:21

Morphine has some weird effects as well. You could blame most of it on that alone. Don’t overthink it.
Hope you’re recovered

Morphine really does have some strange effects on people.
I loved the soothing effect, but the woman in next bed was garrulous with it..
My friend came round from an op and someone was screaming.
He thought ''I wish they'd shut up!''...then he realised the person screaming was him.
He'd had some adverse reaction to morphine..and had to have some other pain relief instead.

Dashingdasher · 03/03/2023 00:54

CC4712 · 03/03/2023 00:32

OP- you said this accident happened recently, then said it was during 'covid times' and no one could visit. How long ago was this incident???

If this is still affecting and you are thinking about it all the time, I'd speak to your GP about getting CBT or another support to come to terms with what happened.

Given that the nurse was so caring and lovely, I hope you returned with a thank you card or letter to her manager and chocolates/nice coffee etc as a thank you?

Well, the OP hasn’t stated where they are but I was in hospital not very long ago and visitors were still not allowed due to Covid . This was last year after the lockdowns had all ended . And I know somebody in hospital last week where no visitors were allowed due to a massive Covid outbreak. Different health boards applied different rules RE visitors it seems .

And the OP has already stated in his/her OP that they wrote in with thanks for the nurse. Read it again

oakleaffy · 03/03/2023 00:55

TicTac80 · 03/03/2023 00:03

Another nurse here (not A+E though!). You’ve nothing to worry about. You didn’t do anything wrong at all!

if it makes you feel better, I cried when they put the patient wristband on me! I wasn’t on any meds, but was admitted with pre-eclampsia and it was the first time I was a patient (after always being the HCP!). I burst into tears and kept saying, “but I’m not a patient, I’m staff!!!!”. When they gave me gas and air, I tried offering it to the MW (“perk of the job!”). I was so off my tits, but I kept offering to help them out if they were short on the ward. I was mortified afterwards!! Sadly, this happened in the hospital I work in, but I did go and apologise to the L&D staff when I was less squiffy.

'Perk of the job''! 😂

FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall · 03/03/2023 00:58

The thread you are discussing was (I think) the one where the poster was completely fine and rational during the procedure but afterwards expressed doubts about the staff judging their underwear, fake tan and waxing regime.

IMO that's completely different to feeling panicky when you are unexpectedly exposed to strangers in an emergency. In such a situation you could be as groomed as a member of Pans People or the Pussycat Dolls (see my allowances for generational differences there!). Then it's not about how strangers judge your personal grooming but more about how scared you feel about being out of control.

p

CC4712 · 03/03/2023 01:01

Apologies OP, I missed that you did write and thank the nurse for her help.

Topseyt123 · 03/03/2023 01:45

You need to cut yourself some slack here. I think you had a normal reaction to a very stressful situation.

My mother reacted similarly once. She was 85 at the time and it was also during the first COVID lockdown. She had been taken ill with pneumonia in her house (not Covid related) and been taken to hospital while unconscious. She came round the next day on a respiratory ward while still very ill and was utterly furious. She's normally such a laid back and mild mannered person but it was the shock, the feelings of vulnerability and disorientation speaking really, plus possibly any medication she was on.

She was ranting about how she was going to break the break the ward door down, bust out of there and then go home and absolutely woe betide my Dad and my sister because they had dared to call an ambulance to take her to this prison!!

My mother isn't the most mobile of people due to other health problems so much of this was just ridiculous and we laugh about it now. As she began to get better at the time though she became horrified and very apologetic about her earlier behaviour and after she got home a few days later she wrote a very contrite letter to the ward staff apologising profusely.

People can react in a very out of character manner when in pain and highly stressed. It isn't unusual.

I hope you are now recovered from your accident, or at least well on the way towards it.

Thepossibility · 03/03/2023 02:12

My mum is the nicest doormat you would ever met.
In A&E last year she was yelling at the staff about not getting her a coffee, while she was really in a bad way. She wouldn't have been able to drink a coffee! We were so shocked. Apparently she was swearing abuse at the staff later that night.
She's tried to block it from her mind, she is mortified.
You were a dream compared to that!

Champagneforeveryone · 03/03/2023 02:46

An A&E Dr put her finger up my arse, while I was newly enjoying the experience of morphine. When she mentioned this was what she was going to do, I obligingly rolled over, parted my arse cheeks for her and told her to crack on.

To her credit she remained the consumate professional throughout. I have told myself that it's all in a days work for her 😬

TabbyBeast · 03/03/2023 16:10

@monoplane Oh my goodness do they underplay the steroid injection pain! I'm usually pretty bombproof but that was horrendous; so much so, I've put up with the pain since rather than have another one

FooFighter99 · 03/03/2023 16:18

I was watching 24HRS in A&E the other night, and one patient was so distressed at them trying to remove her shoe, that she punched a nurse right in the face!

Granted, said shoe was on the foot that was attached to the ankle that she'd snapped and was hanging on by a thread..... so it was 100% understandable

So don't worry @purplellama3 it could have been worse Smile

Viviennemary · 03/03/2023 16:20

I agree. Dont give it another thought. You were in a stressed and frightemed state.

LikeAStar1994 · 03/03/2023 16:21

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/03/2023 22:23

Why are you even worrying about this now?

stop trying to create a drama out of something in the past that you can’t change anyway…

Vile cunt.

Ludo19 · 03/03/2023 16:22

I'm not great with pain relief and hospitals terrify me. I'm usually a blubbering wreck. Be kind to yourself, your reaction was pretty normal OP x

CottonSock · 03/03/2023 16:23

I had flashbacks and horrible re-living of my time in hospital. Its not a nice thing to happen.

whatfreshheck · 03/03/2023 16:24

Don't give it a second thought lovely. We know people get scared and frightened and we understand. It's ok!

Cantdoitallperfectly · 03/03/2023 16:33

I’m a nurse practitioner in A&E, please be kind
to yourself. You were were traumatised after an accident and had morphine on board, it does all sorts of strange things to people. It happens all the time and I’m glad to hear you had a kind and compassionate nurse, she will have been delighted with your letter.
On another note, I had an accident abroad which required an emergency ambulance. When I got to the hospital I totally freaked out, I was pushing the nurses away and trying to get off the trolley. I have vague memories of it!! I do remember my poor DH looking panicked telling the nurses I wasn’t normally violent. They were so kind to me and I won’t forget their compassion.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 03/03/2023 16:38

Champagneforeveryone · 03/03/2023 02:46

An A&E Dr put her finger up my arse, while I was newly enjoying the experience of morphine. When she mentioned this was what she was going to do, I obligingly rolled over, parted my arse cheeks for her and told her to crack on.

To her credit she remained the consumate professional throughout. I have told myself that it's all in a days work for her 😬

I am HOWLING at this. Brilliant!

longtompot · 03/03/2023 16:40

Can you remember if they were telling you what they were going to do? I just wonder if they were just getting on with doing their job and not keeping you informed. I have seen on the various a&e programmes they usually talk to the patients, even the ones who are unconscious, about what they are doing.
Hopefully the other poster's experiences will help put you mind at rest