To wonder if this is jealousy

[Feelslikespring2]

So long story short I have always struggled with women

When I was at school I had a few good friends but I would always hear about girls in my year who I'd never spoken to and some I didn't even know who apparently 'hated me' and 'had it in for me' and would try and turn other girls against me.

Then as an adult some of my friends will compliment each other on a night out but not me. I'm not saying I deserve a compliment bit surely you would say something at least out of politeness if giving one to everyone else.

My Dh always says 'they're probably jealous' but I feel like this is something he says to make me feel better because that's what husbands do.

Aibu to wonder if this could actually be the case though?

I feel like this would somewhat be easier to accept then just being so repellent that women simply don't like me or want much to do with me.

If you have treated someone differently because you've been jealous what did you do and why? Also, anyone else had a similar experience with other females?

Ok so I definitely think "they're being mean to you because of jealousy" is a thing. I used to think it was an excuse and far too flattering towards oneself, but I've genuinely experienced it myself – people in a certain workplace warming up to me when they found out my life wasn't as perfect/expensive as it might look, for example.

That said, pretty girls/women are usually the most popular even among other girls/women. There might be 1 or 2 jealous people but they won't be the majority. If you generally have good relations with other women, then I'd say it's jealousy. If you generally have issues with most women, then I'd say the issue lies with you.

I think men are equally prone to jealousy & competitiveness too btw. It's just that they don't tend to compliment each other anyway so differential treatment isn't that obvious.

And men (typical straight, "masculine" men) can be really bitchy too when they get started, worse than woman!

I've experienced this myself in the place where I currently live. I blended in a lot more in places where people were generally in better health. Luckily I have a solid core of female friends.

Some women are scary. They give off an 'I don't like you' vibe even if they don't actually say anything unkind.

I've found this a lot. I'm definitely not beautiful (I'd say average at absolute best).
I do have a very small group of friends and in my 40s am making more effort to be nicer (I think I may have inadvertently been aloof absolutely without meaning to).

I would say I have noticed, the thing most women are envious of IMHO are those of us fortunate enough to be in happy, longterm marriages, could this be an issue with your “friends” jealous of your life?

@SisterAgatha exactly the same experience. I got 'oh she loves herself' at school even though I felt isolated and had the beginnings of low self esteem and anxiety attributed to the way I was being treated.

It seems there's a mix bag of responses but they have all been helpful. I'm not saying all women I've ever encountered have taken a dislike to me. It's just felt more that way then them actively wanting to include me or boost my confidence.

The girls who were mean to you at school were probably just stupid and insecure teenagers. What reason would they have to be jealous of you if they barely knew you? I wouldn't dwell on it.

Once you reach adult life, this type of thing shouldn't really happen anymore and if it does you're perfectly within your right to drop "friendships". But how likely is it that every single one of your adult female friends is just secretly uncontrollably jealous of you?

Your husband is just trying to soothe your feelings. It's an empty platitude.

It's not helpful to become paranoid that every other woman is jealous Not to mention, it's an unpleasant stereotype and as much as you might try to distance yourself from it, you'll be affected by it too as a woman, so you're shooting yourself in the foot.

@moksorineouimoksori im certainly not paranoid about it just curious. I too said my husband was probably just easing my feelings. Was just looking to see if anyone had experienced similar. The friendship group might need to be looked at you are right

63 going on 14 apparently

This. But woe betide anyone acknowledging this, as witnessed by several 'yes, hun, jus jelus because you're so ace' comments here. You all sound like you're at secondary school.🙄