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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU not to bother with swimming lessons anymore?

67 replies

PurpleFeather · 01/03/2023 16:12

Swimming lessons are doing my head in!!! I have three kids between 5 and 10. They all love swimming and are confident swimmers. They have lessons on a Friday afternoon and EVERY WEEK it’s such a battle. They don’t want to go, they’re tired, we miss the lessons if one is ill etc. On top of this the lessons are not great, the groups are huge and there is a lot of waiting around. And it’s costing me a fortune…

I really just want to stop the lessons especially as they can now all swim. We do also swim once a week with the whole family and they love it.

Should I persevere so they can improve further? For how many years do most kids have lessons? Or is it okay just to cancel and put an end to this nightmare?!

OP posts:

MintJulia · 01/03/2023 16:15

What do they want to do? I have one ds who wants to carry on and try for the county team. So it's his choice, I'm not pushing him and that makes it easier to decide.

PuttingDownRoots · 01/03/2023 16:15

I pulled lessons last summer as they could swim okish, the instructors were variable, the lessons were frequently cancelled and I was fed up of the box ticking.

However... are you sure about your youngest being safe? They can't have had lessons for that long yet?

marmitegirl01 · 01/03/2023 16:15

Yes quit. If they can swim that’s good enough.
relaaaaax and enjoy your Friday nights 🎉

Anonymous48 · 01/03/2023 16:15

Why do you think you should keep insisting on lessons? Once they can actually swim (which is an important skill), isn't it just the same as any other activity like dance or football? In other words, wouldn't you only facilitate it if they actually want to do it?

Original poster

PurpleFeather · 01/03/2023 16:19

Oh phew I’m relieved by these responses. Yeah the youngest is really safe. The other two took much longer to learn but for some reason the youngest just got it and started swimming without aids age 3😱 They’re nearly 6 now and as good as the eldest!

I don’t know why I’ve kept going with it. I guess I had visions of them getting even better and really enjoying it, or swimming in a team or something (if they want to!!! I’m not a pushy parent, promise🤣).

OP posts:

Thinkbiglittleone · 01/03/2023 16:22

I went through a little phase of thinking this with our 5 year old. He is confident in the water, just finishing his grade 3, but he didn't want to go. So I said he only had to do until the end of term and if he still doesn't want to we could stop.
He did a complete 360 and loves them now, he said he didn't quite understand sometimes what the instructor wanted him to do, so once I explained it's just like school and he can speak up and ask questions, he seems ok again....for now. His are on a weekend Morning.

But we did used to do his lessons after school on on a Wednesday and he just couldn't concentrate properly as he was so tried after school, so that why we moved him

MeridianB · 01/03/2023 16:24

YANBU! If they are all strong swimmers then mission accomplished. The battle just isn't worth it. Presumably they have to do a lesson a week with school anyway?

Kittlbua · 01/03/2023 16:29

If they are already good swimmers and you go regularly as a family, there's no need to keep up the lessons, especially since they aren't enjoying them.
If they were having a great time and interested in joining a team then it would be worth the money, but as they aren't it's just a total pain and you might as well flush the money down the toilet.

Dodgeitornot · 01/03/2023 16:41

What stage are they OP? Generally the amount of kids in a lesson massively decreases by stage 5. My DD didn't enjoy it until around stage 7 and she's now in a club. She still moans but goes and is really happy after. We didn't give her the option to quit until she finished stage 7. I think they really need the stamina.
Is there a local swimming club that has a learn to swim programme? Normally they're much better and cheaper.

Dodgeitornot · 01/03/2023 16:44

Also, if you can, move it to a weekend. I think Friday is quite possibly the worst day you could do it as everyone is so tired from the school week. My sister takes her 3 kids to their lessons on Sat morning and they all stay for the family swim after. They previously tried a Thursday and it was such a flop. Complete waste of money and stress.

itsgettingweird · 01/03/2023 16:48

If they can confidently swim 25m without getting out of breath then I'd say stop if they aren't enjoying it.

Lots of children who do enjoy it will move into other aquatic lessons or join a club and do some swimming with them as they get to build up stamina.

BurntOutGirl · 01/03/2023 16:48

Gosh... stop the lessons and remove the stress from your life.

As long as you still go regularly they will keep their skills up, and they can always be enrolled on the holiday "crash" courses if they need a "top up"

Loopyloooooo · 01/03/2023 16:48

Hmm I dunno, I would want them to do some of the basic life saving stuff..jumping in with PJ's on, treading deep water and increasing the 5 year olds stamina etc. If the older ones have done that then I'd be happy for them to stop.

JADS · 01/03/2023 16:50

I'm trying to decide this too. DS 7 can swim 100m (they don't do levels which is annoying). He actually likes his teacher but he seems to be 'stuck' in the class and has been for some time. He is the youngest in the class and really sporty. He just isn't that keen. His older brother has SEN and has a private lesson at the same time so we are persisting but I do hate going.

If you do family swimming each week and your 5 year old is confident, I would stop. If you feel they need a top up, the week long holiday lessons can work well.

Warrensrabbit · 01/03/2023 16:52

If they can swim confidently just take them yourself once a week. I firmly believe that it is an important life skill to have, but you can do this yourself

JADS · 01/03/2023 16:53

See I would hate to go on a Saturday or Sunday morning. That feels worse somehow.

There are 2 SEN swimming clubs in our local area and they are both 5 to 6pm on a Saturday. Both are wonderful, but such a ballache. I really hate swimming as you can probably tell!

BHRK · 01/03/2023 16:59

I don’t let my kids stop until stage 7. This is possibly the most important skill they will learn via you and so it pays to keep going sometimes.
when you say good swimmers - how good? What does their teacher think? They won’t automatically keep improving just because you go once a week as a family

33goingon64 · 01/03/2023 17:04

Find a different class on a better day. I hated Friday afternoons at the pool we were at. We switched to a family-run club on a different evening and both DC love it and it's a no stress situation for me because of how it's run. Ask around for recommendations.

PumpkinPie2016 · 01/03/2023 17:15

When you say they can swim - how well? Do they have stamina? It may be worth keeping at it until their technique is decent and they have good stamina. You could swap days or try a different swim school?

My son is 9 and has lessons still. He does enjoy it though.

He has good stamina now - can comfortably do 4 lengths. Often does more. Importantly, his technique is improving- he can swim front crawl/breast stroke/back stroke/butterfly- bilateral breathing can be a but shaky but he is working on it. He is also doing the survival stuff.

Are they able to swim at least two lengths in recognised strokes, with decent technique? If not, I would try to keep going.

EdHelpPls · 01/03/2023 17:16

Agree to seeing if they can go a different day. I've said to mine they can stop after level 6 (I'm not sure how standard that is but it's being able swim 25m in various styles, which my middle child is approaching. She has hip issues and repeatedly swimming 25m for half an hour (which is next level) is not in her best interests. At the minute it's a width then a break while others do it so it works for her.

My youngest is tiny compared to her classmates in level 4 and I'm not sure if I'll encourage her to keep going or not after this level. She could swim 25m if needed but not with much finesse! Will be led by her. She might stop soon and take it up again later.

ItsaMetalBand · 01/03/2023 17:30

I'd keep it going until they got through all the levels, sorry. I consider it a life skill. Every summer here there are drownings of teens who only wanted to go and enjoy the nice weather with their mates.

DS is currently in level 7, that's as high as he can go in children's lessons. But he's interested in club swimming and junior lifeguard training as well which I fully support. At least when he is 15 and sneaking off to swim in the local lake, he'll have some sort of skill and safety training.

reluctantbrit · 01/03/2023 17:37

We insisted on DD going until she was in the level where they swim in clothes. She loved that bit so much, she then carried on to Rookie Lifesavers. She absolutely hated lane swimming and would never have gone to club swimming.

5 is very young to stop.

LlynTegid · 01/03/2023 17:39

Move from Friday to another day, see what response you get.

lieselotte · 01/03/2023 17:40

Way back in the day I think I read on MN (I read it somewhere, not sure if it was here) that you should stop once your child got stage 5 and ideally stage 7.

My son said he wanted to stop and I said "once you get your stage 5" so he carried on and then decided he liked it after all and only stopped the week before he started university, doing his ASA bronze to gold awards, personal survival skills and fitness swimming. And qualified as a lifeguard. So it could be a phase that they don't want to go, but if they have at least stage 5 they will be well placed to stop.

BrightPurple · 01/03/2023 17:45

I remember that Saturday morning feeling when trying to coax DS to his swimming lessons. In the end I, like you, decided that he could swim, he was now confident in the water, so decided to stop.

He still had swimming lessons for a few years at high school, so continued regardless, even though he hated it there!

Continue with your family swim but sack the weekly torture of getting all three to their lessons! Bet they suddenly want to continue with them😂

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