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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to bother with swimming lessons anymore?

67 replies

PurpleFeather · 01/03/2023 16:12

Swimming lessons are doing my head in!!! I have three kids between 5 and 10. They all love swimming and are confident swimmers. They have lessons on a Friday afternoon and EVERY WEEK it’s such a battle. They don’t want to go, they’re tired, we miss the lessons if one is ill etc. On top of this the lessons are not great, the groups are huge and there is a lot of waiting around. And it’s costing me a fortune…

I really just want to stop the lessons especially as they can now all swim. We do also swim once a week with the whole family and they love it.

Should I persevere so they can improve further? For how many years do most kids have lessons? Or is it okay just to cancel and put an end to this nightmare?!

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 01/03/2023 22:42

Friday is the worst time for swimming lessons

Tired and grumpy kids - uou as mum are prob tired

I turned down a Fri lesson and stayed on waiting list as knew dd5 wouldn't cope

We do a Tue

Obv very diff do 3 lesson a week as well ana if they don't went to go anymore then stop

Squidge123 · 01/03/2023 22:56

I would make sure they complete stage 7 and then let them finish if don't want to go onto a club, something that you might not realise now but it is great as either a full or part time job when older if they continue, my DD qualified as a lifeguard at 16 and a swimming teacher just after and she earns over £20 an hour now . My son quit the swim club at 13 but has a job helping out with swimming lessons and will do his lifeguard course at 16. My younger DD started the club swimming after the stages and realised wasn't for her but she had completed the stages and is a strong swimmer.

TheClitterati · 01/03/2023 23:18

Oh for sure stop going. They know how to swim. If you are going once a week for a family swim that is brilliant and how kids really apply the basics, get confident & actually swim.

You are freed!

Anyfeckinusername · 01/03/2023 23:29

Mine are fed up too and yes it's a faff, my 7yo is stage 3 and my 9yo is stage 4. I had told them they could stop when they completed stage 4 but going by this thread that's not enough. I didn't know how high the levels went, but stage four are doing lengths and look very water confident.

I'm so glad my kids are progressing. The leaps in progress seem to be coming thick and fast now after what felt like years of stop/start again lessons with next to no progress. I do feel your pain op!

PuttingDownRoots · 01/03/2023 23:36

MissMaple82 · 01/03/2023 22:01

"Swim, okish" - ahhh yes, they sound nice and safe if they ever got into difficulties around water!

Show quote history

Okish... as in could swim several lengths on front and backwithout trouble when swimming with family, can tread water, can self rescue after falling into the lake off their paddleboard...

But can't swim butterfly or do rhythmic breaths or do synchronised routines or some of the other stuff they apparently had to do to move up a level but never did in lessons.

If their lessons had been better they would have continued! It just got to a point where they were learning more with us.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 01/03/2023 23:55

If they can swim strongly for 400m and tread water, id let them stop. Though I make mine carry on until they could swim 1000m confidently as I don't just want them to be ok swimmers but very strong swimmers both as it opens up other things they can do for fun and safer.

MeetPi · 02/03/2023 00:06

Yazo · 01/03/2023 19:09

@RafaistheKingofClay I've never swum fully clothed in my life. I get the water safety thing but think we're getting it all a bit wrong with swimming lessons in the UK where most kids can't even swim a length because it's all about technique and other stuff. Basic A to B is important.

You don't generally swim fully clothed on purpose, unless it's for lessons. It is an important skill to learn, though. I've shared this story many times before on MN but I'll tell it again: I once had to pull a fully-clothed, drowned woman from the bottom of a pool and attempt to revive her. I don't think she knew how to swim, but it was a relatively small pool and I have no doubt at all her heavy clothes pulled her down.

juliettesmother · 02/03/2023 04:52

Going against the grain here but it's the only thing that I insist my kids do. We do live close to a lake though and it is an activity that I haven't seen many adults commit to learning from scratch , later in life.
it's a life skill that I felt they absolutely should have (and not just to the point where they can just about swim, or get themselves to safety, I wanted them to swim very well and be able to handle any situation) and now Dc1&2 are teenagers, they love being excellent swimmers. Dc 3&4 are still young but they are good swimmers and I am sure that they will end up on the swimming team like their older siblings.
For years I was 'that' parent with the noisy, over excited kids, and I oozed disorder and chaos, but it didn't last that long (relatively speaking) and paid off.

I would say stick with it and it will become easier/pay off as they get older. Maybe change the day from a Friday though? End of the week is rough for energy levels.

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 05:08

We knew our child could do a certain amount and wanted to stop so they did

You can drown being a strong swimmer, an adult, in the bathtub, Nd Olympian, been in the water for 50 years, everyone can drown swimming lessons or not

Swimming lessons are great but they don't save your life 100% of the time

mathanxiety · 02/03/2023 05:23

Yes, quit!

They can stay afloat.

As long as they know about safety around water, never to swim without an adult present, never to give in to dares, various beach hazards like rip tides, currents, fast incoming and outgoing tides, etc. they'll be fine. Maybe the oldest could do a Red Cross CPR course?

Kokeshi123 · 02/03/2023 05:28

If getting to the pool is a huge hassle, consider sacking off lessons for the older one, and putting the younger ones in for a course of intensive private lessons. Much higher cost per lesson, but you don't need many of them. Then maintain by just going to the pool as a family once a week.

mathanxiety · 02/03/2023 05:30

Mariposista · 01/03/2023 19:29

Agree. you would rather have a few tedious Fridays than a drowned child.

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That's a little drastic.

Also, being able to swim 50m or 100m in a pool is a completely different matter from swimming those metres in open water, against the tide or in choppy conditions, or in a lake with no salinity, or a flowing river.

And once a child does build up the stamina to swim a certain distance, how does he keep his muscles in the condition needed to replicate that skill if he doesn't swim frequently?

Sleepless1096 · 02/03/2023 05:45

I'd keep going at least for the younger one, but move the lessons to a Monday/Tuesday so everyone's a bit less tired. I sympathise with you on the Fridays, but I'd be very keen to avoid a regular weekend commitment. My DC has no activities on weekends or Fridays as I like to keep that time free for other stuff.

Can you find a way to optimise the time? So do homework/reading and bribe with snacks and treats while the other children are swimming?

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 08:41

On the lifesaving/personal survival, our local pool used to do intensive courses in the holidays for stroke technique, and personal survival type stuff - I wonder if that might be an option for your eldest?

ItsaMetalBand · 02/03/2023 13:25

It's not just the ability to swim. If you go to a cool waterpark somewhere in Europe many of the slides have a deep plunge at the end of them. Or doing any kind of sports on water where you need a basic level of swimming - rafting, canoeing, scuba diving, snorkelling, so there's many reasons to keep going.

I know it's a bloody hassle with all the faffing around but see if you can swap it to another day and it might make all the difference.

FusionChefGeoff · 02/03/2023 13:26

God if they can all swim and you go as a family anyway why the hell are you putting yourself through that too!

Cancel now Smile

LoobyDop · 02/03/2023 13:36

sunflowerdaisyrose · 01/03/2023 23:55

If they can swim strongly for 400m and tread water, id let them stop. Though I make mine carry on until they could swim 1000m confidently as I don't just want them to be ok swimmers but very strong swimmers both as it opens up other things they can do for fun and safer.

That sounds a lot more sensible minimum than 25m.

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