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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To travel 90 mins for new job?

39 replies

User65412 · 01/03/2023 15:51

I've been offered a new job and it's a huge change from my current profession (teacher). But... the travel time is putting me off.
I'll be working 30 hours over 4 days and will have flexi-time.
I'd have to go to the office which is a 90 minute drive away once or sometimes twice a week. I'd work from home the rest of time. The office day could be from 10 - 3, using flexi-time, rather than 8 - 5 or similar.
I feel like I'm used to working a 10 hour days at the moment (plus more when the kids are in bed), so the drive would equate to the same length day.
Family are worried it's too far and the drive will make me wish I'd stayed teaching. For context, I currently drive 30 mins each way and am always out of the house for at least 10 hours. The job is less money but hopefully a start in a new career with prospects to move up/get a job closer in future.
YABU - say no, that drive is too much.
YANBU - it'll be fine.

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 01/03/2023 16:02

For once or twice a week that sounds absolutely fine. I used to commute 75-90 mins every day on train and Tube, each way.

LookingOldTheseDays · 01/03/2023 16:06

Once or twice a week, that's nothing!

And the new job will open up future options and choices for you that teaching won't.

JorisBonson · 01/03/2023 16:08

I do that 5 days a week. You get used to it.

mast0650 · 01/03/2023 16:08

Once or twice a week is fine if you are otherwise excited about the job.

Thatsnotmybee · 01/03/2023 16:09

I do pretty much exactly the same hours and have a similar commute twice a week. Could you get the train? It's slightly less draining.

Original poster
User65412 · 01/03/2023 16:13

Thnaks @Lcb123 !@Lcb123 ! If it was the train it would be a no-brainer for me. More concerned (and I think family are) of 3 hours concentrating when driving,or even that it's a 'waste' of dead time as i can't do anything else.

OP posts:
Original poster
User65412 · 01/03/2023 16:17

Train not possible! I'm over an hour from the nearest station and then it's 1.5 hours from there.

OP posts:
RobertsRadio · 01/03/2023 16:20

Well it's not three hours in one stretch is it? You've said it's 90 minutes each way, so presumably you will be working in between your journey into work and your journey home. And it's only once or twice a week. As for wasted time, stick some music on, or a podcast or my favourite - an audible book.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/03/2023 16:21

Two 90 minute daily stints of just me and Radio 4 twice a week sounds like absolute bliss. I’ve done the 90 minute commute on public transport and I never got used to hanging about in the wind and the rain, especially in the dark. Go for it!

billy1966 · 01/03/2023 16:24

Try and nail down once a week if possble.

Original poster
User65412 · 01/03/2023 16:30

@BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted this is exactly what I've said. 90 mins of peace, listening to music and a 'break' from the business of young children sounds great to me!
Others think it would be awful, but I don't really know anyone in the same situation as me.

OP posts:
emmylousings · 01/03/2023 16:31

Worth it to get other parts of your life back. Plus it needn't be totally dead time, you can listen to audio books, podcasts... if the drive is ok, and not every day, it can be quite nice alone time.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/03/2023 16:34

Sounds a lot better overall than your current working conditions. I think it’s fine - every day would be too much but once or twice a week is fine, and you have good flexibility.

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 01/03/2023 16:34

Would it absolutely and definitely be once - twice a week?

Also, would you husband/partner be around to do school pick-ups emergency childcare if needed?

If so, then go for it.

However, you might find a three-hour commute surprisingly taxing. I would give it a test run in rush hour first.

AffIt · 01/03/2023 16:37

One or twice a week? Absolutely fine.

Many years ago, I had a job with a roughly two-hour commute (driving) on a daily basis - that was NOT fine and I definitely wouldn't do that again.

I did, however, use the time to listen to language lessons in the car and became quite competent in Italian over the course of about a year, so not time wasted. 😀

mindutopia · 01/03/2023 16:55

If you can afford it and you don't mind the drive, sounds fine. My office is in London and while I don't go in often at all anymore, for many years I went in 2-3 days a week. It's 3 hours door to door (so 6 hours of travel each day). I was in the office for 10-4 and I worked on the train. I personally didn't mind it at all. I had 2 small dc at the time as well. It meant I could be really present on my wfh days and I got a lot done on the train (I recognise you'll be driving though). In my industry, most jobs are in big cities, so it was either choose a different career, move to London or commute. So I was quite happy to commute.

PandasAreUseless · 01/03/2023 17:32

I travel into the office, 60 mins door to door, twice a week. If I had to make it 90 mins it wouldn't trouble me at all. Sometimes I actually think "damn, I'm nearly there and my podcast is just getting interesting!"
However:

  • I commute by train. A nice empty train with pretty views out of the window. So it's all very relaxed. Driving will be more tiring.
  • I don't have kids.
LlynTegid · 01/03/2023 17:40

If it really always will be once a week, then go for it.

Igmum · 01/03/2023 20:52

Absolutely go for it. I do that (and have done further in the past). Every day I agree would be a struggle, but once a week? Easy as pie

parrotonmyshoulder · 01/03/2023 20:56

Totally worth it. What’s the new job? Congratulations.
So much time for audiobooks or podcasts!

MogTheMoogle · 01/03/2023 21:13

Do you enjoy driving?
Or at least more specifically for me..is it a 90 minute drive due to traffic, or distance?
90 mins of mostly fast moving, with flowing traffic driving, wonderful.
90 mins of stop start traffic, crawling through town centres and school runs.

The more frequently you're in the office, the more it does take a toll (even if you enjoy it) as it extends the day...but if you're only in 1/2 times a week, personally I'd be happy to travel.

Podcasts, audio books, music for the road.

MagpiePi · 01/03/2023 21:20

Is it going to reliably be 90 minutes, or will it depend on traffic?
I commute (driving) once a week and on a good day it takes 1hr 15mins door to door. If I leave the office 10 minutes late it can turn into 2hours or more to get home. Makes it a very long day and I can’t make plans for that evening.

PizzaPastaWine · 01/03/2023 21:27

If your commute is 30 mins each way now then once a week at 90 minutes sounds like a no brainer.

90 minutes childfree in my own thoughts/listening to a podcast sounds like bliss.

Original poster
User65412 · 02/03/2023 05:48

I do enjoy driving and it's 90 mins of beautiful countryside. I don't envisage any traffic really as both home and work are fairy rural locations.
It's a job in the civil service so a huge career change. I think I can just do core hours on the office days and make up for it later or on other days if needed.
And yes, my husband is on call for nursery emergencies etc as he works minutes away from there and home and his work are very flexible which helps enormously.
Lots of positives here about the travel - thank you!

OP posts:
Elclr · 02/03/2023 05:56

I do it 4/5 times a week. Hour(ish) drive and 30 minutes on the tube. I love the podcast/audio book time.

Yes. When there is traffic/lane closures/diversions etc it's a bit more of a task. However I'm in a job with much less stress and I haven't looked back at all. I decided if I didn't try I'd regret it forever and I'm so glad I took the leap.

I say this to you sitting on the tube now listening to my favourite podcast.