Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to keep a pet in a flat?

97 replies

GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 18:59

DD thinks I am. She says all her friends have pets. She is desperate for a cute, cuddly pet like a kitten or a puppy. We live in a top floor, open plan flat and I don't believe it's really fair to have a pet.

YABU - get her a pet (what?)
YANBU - it's unfair to keep a pet when you've only a balcony as outdoor space and essentially one room.

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 28/02/2023 19:00

Well for one thing, it wouldn’t be her pet, it would 100% end up being yours. So you get to decide.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 28/02/2023 19:02

You can keep both in a flat but ultimately you're the adult so if you don't want all the work involved, DD will have to go without.

Cornishmumofone · 28/02/2023 19:03

I liked the suggestion I read from someone else recently... if your child wants a pet, they have to empty the bins every morning and evening for 60 days and go out for a 30-minute walk every morning and evening for 60 days. If they miss a day, the clock resets. This will check how much they want a pet and whether they're willing to look after it.

Skinnermarink · 28/02/2023 19:05

Cornishmumofone · 28/02/2023 19:03

I liked the suggestion I read from someone else recently... if your child wants a pet, they have to empty the bins every morning and evening for 60 days and go out for a 30-minute walk every morning and evening for 60 days. If they miss a day, the clock resets. This will check how much they want a pet and whether they're willing to look after it.

I get the concept but a cat or a dog tends to give you a bit more back than a bin 🤣

(Disclaimer- not all cats)

elm26 · 28/02/2023 19:06

We've moved into a 1st floor flat for a year before we get into our 2 bed house roughly January next year and have a sprocker spaniel.

He's always had long walks every day due to his breed but I miss being able to open a back door for him to wee in the garden. Now it's up and down stairs every couple of hours. You also have to think about noise, we are lucky as he's never barked.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 28/02/2023 19:07

Do not get a pet unless YOU want a pet.

Dogs and cats are not the only pet. You have the entire Internet at your disposal to research.

Adopt, dont shop. Dont underestimate vet fees.

BungleandGeorge · 28/02/2023 19:08

Hamster, fish, stick insects?
fine to have none if you don’t want them though

FlowerArranger · 28/02/2023 19:09

It's absolutely possible to keep a cat in a flat, as long as it has been raised there from when it was a kitten. S(he) will need a cat tree and lots of toys and you have to accept that it will treat the entire flat as their territory. Be prepared for her to ignore her catbed and sleep wherever she chooses.

Personally I would not keep a dog, even a small one, but I admit I have no experience with small dogs.

Lilyhatesjaz · 28/02/2023 19:09

Hamsters are really, really noisy

Posyapocalypse · 28/02/2023 19:12

Most rescue places will let you know if they have any cats that need to be kept indoors so in that case it wouldn’t be unfair if it was for their own safety and comfort. In my flat (HA) we are allowed indoor cats but not dogs. The thing that put me off a cat is that my flat is also open plan , so I I’m not sure I’d want a litter box, food bowls and cat tower etc in permanent sight/smell. But if you feel you could cope with it all then an indoor cat wouldn’t be impossible if they had company , things to keep them entertained etc.

Nat6999 · 28/02/2023 19:13

Please consider other residents & don't get a dog, I live in a block of flats where several residents have dogs. One will start barking & the rest join in, it's like living in Battersea Dogs Home.

notthisagainforest · 28/02/2023 19:14

I couldn't have my dog In a flat. He goes out in the garden several times a day and once in the night. I couldnt be doing it in a flat that's for sure

Springisclose · 28/02/2023 19:16

Fish? Stick insects or a hamster?

maddy68 · 28/02/2023 19:27

A dog you would be up and down every two minutes so it's impractical. A cat is fine but you would have to put up with the smell of cat litter. Get her a gold fish and see how she takes care of it. If she loses interest (she will) then tell her you might reconsider

magicofthefae · 28/02/2023 19:29

YANBU

Dogs and cats really benefit, health and quality of life wise, from a garden and immediate access to an outdoor space. It's not good for them to be kept in conditions where they don't have those things.

Get another pet? Do your research on the right one for your lifestyle and circumstances. Hamsters are nocturnal so might be up in their cage rustling/using wheel, in the night. Stick insect maybe?

SusiePevensie · 28/02/2023 19:30

A good rescue is the place to start. A FIV or blind cat can be very happy in a flat - but perhaps not if sharing with a small child A rescue greyhound could do very well as long as it gets a daily walk.

magicofthefae · 28/02/2023 19:32

Also, fish/aquarium/algae/filter/pump cleaning is time and energy consuming. Not as easy as it might seem!

QuietlyConfident · 28/02/2023 19:32

Guinea pigs?

WetBandits · 28/02/2023 19:34

FIV cat? They need indoor homes and many are overlooked in rescue so never find forever homes 🥺 most can live long, healthy lives with medication (and this is usually provided by the shelter)

Coffeellama · 28/02/2023 19:36

Cats can live in flats. Also other pets are available other than dogs and cats. But ultimately it’s wrong to get your child a living fashion accessory, if she wants one because ‘all her friends have one’ then it’s a no surely, it’s not a handbag. But if you both want a pet and have the time and money then get one.

Posyapocalypse · 28/02/2023 19:38

FIV cat? They need indoor homes and many are overlooked in rescue so never find forever homes 🥺 most can live long, healthy lives with medication (and this is usually provided by the shelter)

Ive noticed quite a few cats with FIV and with visual probs on local rescue shelters sites. I think that’s what I’d go for as they deserve a safe, loving home and as you say are often hard to place.

FlowerArranger · 28/02/2023 19:40

I agree that, ideally, cats should have access to a garden, but it really is not essential if they are provided with an interesting, cat-friendly environment. In many countries (US, Australia) cats are routinely kept indoors.

The suggestion of FIV or blind rescue cats as an alternative to a kitten is a good one.

But it is vital that all children and adults in the household are totally on board with adopting and caring for a cat. You don't want to risk a situation where the cat scratches the sofa and (e.g.) dad says "we have to get rid of it".

BitOutOfPractice · 28/02/2023 19:42

Have you checked your lease? Are pets allowed?

Oysterbabe · 28/02/2023 19:42

I got a fish, for me really but the kids love him. He's such a sweetie, I adore him. Would recommend.

Skinnermarink · 28/02/2023 19:44

Please don’t just say ‘oh get a goldfish’ like they don’t matter! Like the lowest form of denominator pet!! They need company and a stimulating environment and a lot more space than you think!!!

its on a par with saying that a sweet fluffy bunny is fine to live by itself in a wooden hutch outside.