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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to keep a pet in a flat?

97 replies

GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 18:59

DD thinks I am. She says all her friends have pets. She is desperate for a cute, cuddly pet like a kitten or a puppy. We live in a top floor, open plan flat and I don't believe it's really fair to have a pet.

YABU - get her a pet (what?)
YANBU - it's unfair to keep a pet when you've only a balcony as outdoor space and essentially one room.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 28/02/2023 21:23

Get butterflies they are a good starting point and time limited

Original poster
GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 21:35

Rats, Gerbils, Hamsters and Kids
Small rodents that are kept according to their species-typical needs offer attractive opportunities to observe animal behaviour. All on their own, children cannot take care for the rodents. An adult needs to guide and supervise them. These rodent species should not be carried around and stroked. It was scientifically shown that, when handled, small rodents immensely suffer from stress reac- tions, such as an increased heart rate for up to 2 hours and an impairment of their immune system. They enjoy their regular free run in the flat, if they can choose when to venture out from their en- closure and when to return. Nocturnal rats and hamsters are less suitable for children than diurnal gerbils.
From our local animal welfare organisation.
also
The predominant cause of death on guinea pigs is heart failure due lack of locomotion! Guinea pigs or rabbits should not be petted or cuddled. They are very susceptible to stress. For the wellbeing of these animals, they should be housed in large enclosures allowing for locomotion. Indoors, guinea pigs need at least 1.5 to 2 m2, outdoors, they need at least 4 m2. Rabbits are not suitable for housing indoors, since they cannot express their full behavioural repertoire there (including digging!), due to lack of space. They need at least 6 m2 or more outdoors.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 21:36

And
Rabbits, guinea pigs and kids
If housed according to the behavioural needs of the species, rabbits and guinea pigs offer interest- ing opportunities to observe natural behaviour. However, on their own, children cannot take care for these animals. An adult needs to guide and supervise them. Carrying these animals around or petting them is questionable. Despite their cuddly appearance, these stress-susceptible animals suffer when being lifted out of their enclosure, if they are carried around and cuddled. Since guinea pigs do not resist to such treatment, it is often assumed that they like being petted, but stress physiology indicates that they are extremely stressed by such procedures and need hours to recover. Rabbits tend to resist more often by scratching or kicking, but they also do not like being lifted and carried around.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 21:37

@Theunamedcat done that. But you can't really interact with them can you!

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 28/02/2023 21:41

GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 28/02/2023 21:37

@Theunamedcat done that. But you can't really interact with them can you!

It may have been mentioned, but does your lease allow pets?

FlowerArranger · 28/02/2023 21:41

If you have a cat in a flat (and from what I've read, several places will not let cats go unless there are two) do you take it out for walks?

No you do not need to take cats for a walk.

If you are adopting kittens, it is better to get 2 if they are left alone for long periods. But it's all about stimulation! They like to play and interact with humans also!

However. 2 kittens might be too much for you if you are not used to cats and value a quiet life. This is why an older indoor cat may be more appropriate. However, you would have to get prepared to invest a fair amount of time to help her settle.

I'd suggest you do a bit of research, including FIV positive cats, as these have to be kept indoors. Visit a cat rescue and talk to the staff and volunteers.

www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/cats/health/fiv

The long and the short of it is - taking on a pet is a big commitment and you have to be fully invested.

spottygymbag · 28/02/2023 21:42

We've gone with pet mice as we're in a town house with limited outdoor space. But I went into it with eyes wide open having had them as a child. We also had DD (6) learn about them and save up for them. When we go away she uses her pocket money to pay a friend to drop a handful of food in and she helps out with cleaning out their cage.
The mice are lovely and tame, love snuggling into the dc laps and hands and the dc love them to bits. They're quite unobtrusive and relatively low maintenance.
DD wanted a cat or a dog but (having had both when younger) I wasn't ready to deal with walking, litter trays, massive vet bills etc again. And that's before we get into apartments/flats/rentals and the extra rules etc

Posyapocalypse · 28/02/2023 21:43

I was desperate for a furry pet as a kid. DPs let me have a goldfish. I did love him but so wanted something I could play and interact with and cuddle. I had a cat as soon as I was able to as an adult.

Nandocushion · 28/02/2023 21:43

SusiePevensie · 28/02/2023 19:30

A good rescue is the place to start. A FIV or blind cat can be very happy in a flat - but perhaps not if sharing with a small child A rescue greyhound could do very well as long as it gets a daily walk.

There are many types of cats that can't go outside - FIV, blind or deaf, elderly cats etc. Ideally you'd have a separate space for the litter box. Dogs are an awful lot more work, which is something important to consider if you're only getting one because your DC wants one. (Also the barking in a flat is unfair to other residents.)

I don't agree with PP that you should start your DD on a goldfish or whatever - pets with no interactivity are incredibly dull and of course she'll get bored.

You could see if any of your local rescues do cat fostering and you could foster a cat before getting your own. It's a good way to see if it's a good fit for you.

BringItOn2023 · 28/02/2023 21:48

House rabbit is the answer

Whichwhatnow · 28/02/2023 21:55

RSPCA says guinea pigs actively should be handled (but you have to do it in a gentle way that won't scare them). I think as the article you linked is entitled 'Rabbits, guinea pigs and kids' what you local animal welfare organisation may be really thinking about is kids roughly/unexpectedly grabbing them and running around with them etc which will obviously scare them.

But it's all moot anyway as you don't have the floor space!

Knockmealdowns · 28/02/2023 22:02

Bearded dragon..we have hit one since Christmas.. just needs worms and crickets from pets at home.. clean out once a month.. likes sunbathing. Doesn’t need walking and is surprisingly attentive to us.. has a big warm tank though..

rampila · 28/02/2023 22:02

I'm sure this has been mentioned but just in case, there are usually many FIV (cat HIV) cats that need re-homing - so they can't go outside. We have a cat with complex health issues who has decided as she's got older that outside is just not the place to be and now is v happy in the house. We have a cat flap and she's not interested!

Knockmealdowns · 28/02/2023 22:03

Oh and he survives happily for a day or 2 without food.. we give it but he doesn’t eat it

LaFemmeDamnee · 28/02/2023 22:05

That article is balls, my guineas very actively resist being handled when they aren't in the mood. Bad luck for everyone if that coincides with claw trimming, mite treating or hair cutting time. And sometimes they're more than happy for a little stroke and cuddle. In fact one gets jealous of the other being stroked and comes seeking tickles if I'm tickling his brother. But they only like me touching them, not the children. All beside the point if you don't have room (and they need a lot of room, and can be quite noisy too. Especially when they hear the fridge door.)

GooglyEyeballs · 28/02/2023 22:10

Dogs in flats are fine but you have to take them out a lot more than if you have a garden. And cats in flats are fine if you get the right breed like a ragdoll or adopt a cat with FIV then you're not allowed to let it out. Ultimately if you want a Pete you can find a way to make it work but if you don't want it then it'll never work!

GooglyEyeballs · 28/02/2023 22:10

Want a pet not a Pete! 🤣

Jackdanielsg1 · 28/02/2023 22:24

We've rescued guinea pigs for years and it's always recommended to handle them. Most of them love cuddles and human interaction and they are very gentle. CC cages are great to tailor for your flat.

How old is your DD?

Fish aren't cuddly but are so relaxing to watch and you can add shrimps and snails which my kids love to watch and spot.

I've heard great things about rats as pets. What about budgies? The can be good pets and interactive.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 28/02/2023 22:39

I'd get a kitten as an indoor pet, as you do not need to walk a cat in rain, snow, wind and during heat waves.

Emmamoo89 · 28/02/2023 22:45

magicofthefae · 28/02/2023 19:29

YANBU

Dogs and cats really benefit, health and quality of life wise, from a garden and immediate access to an outdoor space. It's not good for them to be kept in conditions where they don't have those things.

Get another pet? Do your research on the right one for your lifestyle and circumstances. Hamsters are nocturnal so might be up in their cage rustling/using wheel, in the night. Stick insect maybe?

Cats are fine indoor as long as that's all they've known

LuvSmallDogs · 28/02/2023 22:45

My chihuahua would probably be very happy in a flat, though of course rescues will often enforce "must have enclosed garden" and then bitch about people going to breeders.😁

If you get a pet, go for a pet you want, it will become yours once DD gets bored. DS1 has been after a bird lately, so I asked him when he last fed his hamster and he stropped off.🙄

Emmamoo89 · 28/02/2023 22:49

SallyWD · 28/02/2023 20:12

I personally think it's cruel to keep a cat in a flat. I think they need anple space and access to the outdoors (I know some will disagree with me).

My cats don't go out and are happy

Serrassi · 28/02/2023 22:56

Some cats have a condition called FIV which can be controlled by meds but means a rescue centre needs to find an indoor-only home for the cat or they’ll put the cat down. You could save such a cat…

Or, guinea pig.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 28/02/2023 22:56

You're the grown up here. You can just say no, no pets. When you're a grown up you can have as many as you like, but while we live here, no pets.

I won't have pets in my house so this is what my kids have been told.

BoxOfCats · 01/03/2023 06:51

Could you foster kittens? That would be fine in a flat as they need to be contained.