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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cancel 3 year old dd's birthday party

74 replies

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 18:26

I'm organising a party for my dd for this weekend. I started planning it in January and I want to cancel.

A little bit of a warning about me... I stress about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I let the simplest of things consume me and leave everything until last minute until finally, I have no choice but to sort it and then I realise how actually easy it was and that I could of saved my self so much stress/worry if I'd had just got on with it. I've been like it for as long as I can remember. But with this it's different.

So, I started planning the party 2 months ago but when I say planning I mean more just writing things down (who's coming, sending out invites, what I need for decorations, food, looking for venues etc). Then when it became too overwhelming for me I stopped and pushed it until the back of my mind and just told myself "I'll sort it nearer the time". Now her party is this weekend and so far I've actually brought most of the decorations, booked a character experience to come (deposit paid only), booked a bouncy castle (again, only paid a deposit) and sorted out a venue (my parents house). So many obstacles have been thrown my way which has made it 10x more difficult for my very simple mind to handle.

I'm now stressing about the party being in my parents house, as I have 9 children coming and approx 17 adults coming. My parents house isn't big but there garden is which is why we decided to do it at theirs as our garden wouldn't fit the bouncy castle.

I'm also stressing about the weather. It's forecasted clouds where I am and no rain but potential snow depending on where you look and it's going to be 7 degrees. I'm worrying that it could rain and the bouncy castle can't come (then I will have to entertain 9 children which is my idea of absolute hell), I'm also worrying that it will be too cold for them, especially the younger ones and that if most adults are going to be inside it's going to be too cramped.

I just want to forget about it and cancel the whole thing because I'm so anxious about it. Not to mention the fact I feel I have gone completely OTT for a 3rd birthday party. But I will feel so guilty letting almost 30 people down and I know some of the children are really looking forward too it. My dd however is non the wiser any of this could be happening. I will also be loosing out on approx £140 that I've already paid on decorations, deposits for entertainers and bouncy castles and party bags.

What do you all think? Do I just go for it or cancel the whole thing?

OP posts:

Margot78 · 28/02/2023 18:33

Go for it. Everything is booked and will be fine. They’re three year olds - cake, balloons and space to run around is all they need, anything else is a bonus and the parents will just be grateful for somewhere to take them. Try not to pressure yourself too much. It really doesn’t have to be a perfect experience and it will be over in a couple of hours. Next time though if you’re prone to anxiety just do something much more low key. You don’t have to put yourself through the angst. But try to give yourself a little treat for afterwards to look forward to x

Isthisexpected · 28/02/2023 18:39

Go for it. It'll be fine.

Once it's all over seek some professional help so you model healthy behaviours for anxiety to your daughter.

Alloftheboys · 28/02/2023 18:41

Can the party be moved to a nearby village hall? At least then if it rains the bouncy castle will still be used.

MojoMoon · 28/02/2023 18:42

You have a venue, bouncy castle and can easily buy a load of cheap cakes and nibbles at a supermarket of your choice.

Kids run around and stay warm, they won't be bothered by anything when they are in a sugar party rush.

And please do start some therapy - there are many birthdays, school events, work, life etc ahead of you that you need to be able to cope with.

Rumplestrumpet · 28/02/2023 18:44

I agree with PP - go ahead, push on through and it will be fine. I mean, you might not "enjoy" it as such, but kids will have a ball.

Thrn get yourself some therapy so you don't have to keep going through this and, importantly, so your daughter doesn't learn this behaviour from you and suffer in the same way.

Oblomov23 · 28/02/2023 18:45

It'll be fine. Calm down. It'll be lovely. Text the 2 people tonight to confirm they are coming, and bouncy castle if ok. Cake. Food. Done!

asplashofmilk · 28/02/2023 18:47

Thing is you might just get away with cancelling this year and your 3 year old won't notice/mind too much. Next year when she's 4 you definitely won't, she'll be old enough to be excited about it then. So do you really want to be doing this for the first time next year, when it will actually matter? If nothing else use this as a trial run.

PleasantZen · 28/02/2023 18:55

You can do it!! The parents won't have high expectations. If it's drizzley they won't care, if its cramped inside they won't care. They will be worrying about arriving on time, they gift they have bought and their own child not tantruming.

wineymummy · 28/02/2023 18:59

book an Asda delivery for Fri or Saturday.
order a cake, some extra cupcakes, skips, carrot battens, humous.
ads a bunch of Asda craft shite to the order. Cheap pens, colouring in sheets.
let the kids do their thing. At 3 they're too young for organised games. The quiet ones will be happy colouring/scribbling and if it's dry, the bouncy castle will be used. Your main job will be making cups of squash and handing out paper towels.

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:02

Thanks everyone. I'm going to go for it. I think the worst thing that could happen is the bouncy castle can't come if it rains too much and then we will have to cancel but all being well it will be fine. My dd will love it and it's about her not me at the end of the day.

I overthink things too much, I know. I've done it all my life with everything and therapy is something I really do need to consider.

OP posts:

Bramshott · 28/02/2023 19:03

Not to mention the fact I feel I have gone completely OTT for a 3rd birthday party.
How much would you lose if you just cancelled the bouncy castle and stuck with the character experience, some party games or crafts, and a party tea? That way you take the weather worry out of it, save a bit of money and can still have a fun afternoon.

MrsBunnyEars · 28/02/2023 19:04

We had a bouncy castle cancel on us last minute (the guy got stuck in a lift!).

I panicked, but it turns out that three year olds + cake + balloons to run after is hours of entertainment. You’ll be grand.

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:05

@Alloftheboys originally I was looking at venues but didn't know how it would work with a bouncy castle as I was unsure if one could be hired out for just a couple of hours. Does anyone know what you do in this situation? I thought bouncy castle hires were a full day thing.

OP posts:

Sundayslumpday · 28/02/2023 19:05

Do you have ADHD?

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 28/02/2023 19:08

Honestly, you are ovethinking it. How long is it for?
Chunk it down to 15/30 mins chunks. 2 hrs is only 4 30 mins chunks. You have the entertainer. If it rains out, a couple of goes at musical bumps/sleeping lions etc,bit of food and , cake and candles, party bags. Where is everyone's coats, shoes etc.

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:09

@Sundayslumpday It's possible but not diagnosed.

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 28/02/2023 19:10

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:05

We always hire them for 3 hours and hire a church hall. It's really normal.

ichundich · 28/02/2023 19:10

Yes, I would cancel and either reschedule when it's warmer or just take your DD on a nice day out. You could also hire a softplay centre for a couple of hours, in which case you only have to provide a cake and party bags.

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:12

@Bramshott So far as only a deposit has been paid for the bouncy castle it would be only £10 lost.

But as some slightly older children are coming too (5-10 year olds) the idea was the bouncy castle entertains them too. I wanted an all rounder party where kids off all ages attending would have fun.

OP posts:

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 28/02/2023 19:14

@Oysterbabe I never knew!! If only I knew this sooner, this would have changed everything. I should have just rang the bouncy castle company and asked like a normal person. 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

runforyourdog · 28/02/2023 19:17

I'm not sure a bouncy castle will be that good if it's cold and rainy but even if you don't have that it will be fine. We got home from holiday on a Thursday and organised DS's party in 1 day... I'm sure you can do this!

Genie321 · 28/02/2023 19:18

Go for it! You will be fine. Other parents may have told their children they have a party to attend and even bought gifts. Other parents will help out too. Give them a glass of wine, it'll be the best party ever (wink wink!)

AnnaTortoiseshell · 28/02/2023 19:25

Three year olds really don’t need this level of effort for a party! Our DD just had hers and the biggest big of entertainment was pass the parcel. Balloons, cake, juice cartons - all you really need. She’ll have a great time even if the bouncy castle isn’t there.

You do need to consider getting therapy, though. This sounds like a hard way to live.

Randomhead · 28/02/2023 19:26

Bouncy castle doesn’t sound a great idea. Especially with a mix from 3-10 yrs old. Do some party games, pass the parcel, musical statues and eat cake, mini disco that’s enough. Can you cut down on adults due to space

WineIsMyMainVice · 28/02/2023 19:28

I always find a pass the parcel can kill 40 minutes or so. Put a small generic gift in it and use tissue paper as it’s easy for kids to tear off. Just make sure you have a suitable playlist!! 😂
You’ll be fine!

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