To cancel 3 year old dd's birthday party

[dreamsiclex]

I'm organising a party for my dd for this weekend. I started planning it in January and I want to cancel.

A little bit of a warning about me... I stress about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I let the simplest of things consume me and leave everything until last minute until finally, I have no choice but to sort it and then I realise how actually easy it was and that I could of saved my self so much stress/worry if I'd had just got on with it. I've been like it for as long as I can remember. But with this it's different.

So, I started planning the party 2 months ago but when I say planning I mean more just writing things down (who's coming, sending out invites, what I need for decorations, food, looking for venues etc). Then when it became too overwhelming for me I stopped and pushed it until the back of my mind and just told myself "I'll sort it nearer the time". Now her party is this weekend and so far I've actually brought most of the decorations, booked a character experience to come (deposit paid only), booked a bouncy castle (again, only paid a deposit) and sorted out a venue (my parents house). So many obstacles have been thrown my way which has made it 10x more difficult for my very simple mind to handle.

I'm now stressing about the party being in my parents house, as I have 9 children coming and approx 17 adults coming. My parents house isn't big but there garden is which is why we decided to do it at theirs as our garden wouldn't fit the bouncy castle.

I'm also stressing about the weather. It's forecasted clouds where I am and no rain but potential snow depending on where you look and it's going to be 7 degrees. I'm worrying that it could rain and the bouncy castle can't come (then I will have to entertain 9 children which is my idea of absolute hell), I'm also worrying that it will be too cold for them, especially the younger ones and that if most adults are going to be inside it's going to be too cramped.

I just want to forget about it and cancel the whole thing because I'm so anxious about it. Not to mention the fact I feel I have gone completely OTT for a 3rd birthday party. But I will feel so guilty letting almost 30 people down and I know some of the children are really looking forward too it. My dd however is non the wiser any of this could be happening. I will also be loosing out on approx £140 that I've already paid on decorations, deposits for entertainers and bouncy castles and party bags.

What do you all think? Do I just go for it or cancel the whole thing?

If you do pass the parcel then just get one of your parents to sit with your DD so that she only opens one layer. She'd pick it up pretty quickly.

You can’t cancel a party after you’ve invited the guests, that’s ridiculously rude, so put thet idea out of your head.

Focus on what you need to calm your worries. Are you worried about entertainment? Hire some more.

My big piece of advice is to go with the flow! If they don't want to play a game or aren't ready to eat, then don't force it. Let them enjoy what they're doing and don't make it a boot camp of timings!

Let us know how it goes op

See if a hall is available tho May not be as short notice

We've always done hall and bouncy castle. Yes paid silly money for 2/3hr compared to if home and up for 6/8hrs

It's usually a set fee for the day whether two hours or all day

They will be fine running about. Get balloons to kick and keep in the air and always fun to decorate a rich tea biscuit with icing and sprinkles - pass the parcel and musical games like status's and musical bumps

Push on through op, do it for your daughter.

Next year book a soft play party - indoors so no weather worries and they organise everything for you

Ok, so 4 or 5 year olds generally have birthday celebrations and parties that are about them and their nursery/school pals and the parents of the kids invited. I personally felt no obligation to mount a family and friends style party at 2 or 3, although we did at 1. Why not try to just have a very small family gathering after this one is over plus traditional kids party.

This is what I've done this year for dd6

Mainly as leg was in plaster and now walking boot so can't drive or organise anything Easily

It's all done for me. Good. Entertainment. Decoration. Party bags

let the kids do their thing. At 3 they're too young for organised games. The quiet ones will be happy colouring/scribbling and if it's dry, the bouncy castle will be used. Your main job will be making cups of squash and handing out paper towels

Sorry but I totally refute this, you need military organisation, " free play" for an absolute maximum of 20 minutes. Similarly bouncy castle needs to be policed supervised. I can't stand parties with no structure for parents of boys spirited children it is a nightmare. Unless you only have 4 well behaved crafty girls coming then it will be fine.

Sorry realise that wasn't particularly helpful, for 3-5pm party I
I would suggest:

3-3:10 arrival children sat at table and given craft activity they can take home (glitter, glue etc.) 1 adult meets and greets, 1 supervises craft
3:10-3:20 Adult 1 clears up craft and sets up pins the til on the donkey or similar
Adult 2 runs round of musical statues
3:20-3:30 Adult 2 does Pin the tail on the donkey
3:30- 3:40 Adult 1 does what's the time Mr Woft, grandmother's foot steps or similar Adult 2 sets up food
3:40-3:50 Adult 1 does Simon says/ head shoulders / sleeping bunnies Adult 2 sorts cake
3:50- 4pm If weather allows out in the garden for bounce on castle/ races (both adults)
4pm-4:10pm talent break, everybody wash their hands( 1 Adult while other stays in garden with more outdoorsy children)
4:10-4:20 Everybody in seated for food
4:40 Cake and singing
4:45 " Charecter experience"
4:55 Sort eoples craft from earlier, shoes, coats etc
5pm Party bags and leave

@Dyslexicwonder I wouldn't be doing glitter and glue with 3 year olds at home! 😆 Plus, 10-20mins of it is not worth the effort. Same goes for the bouncy castle. 20 minutes? Pointless. 10 mins of 'character time' is also ridiculous. You do realise that she is paying for all of this and it would be a complete waste of money to limit it all to 10 minute slots?
Don't make it so regimented, have some games ready to go, let them play and dance and eat! 3 year olds won't want to play lots of tricky games. Pass the parcel with help from parents and musical statues are good enough.

Thank you for saying this! @Dyslexicwonder's schedule gave me palpitations just reading it!

I will not being doing a strict schedule for 3 year olds. I will be a complete laughing stock when none of them listen to me and that will stress me out so much more. The character experience was not cheap and they are booked for 30 minutes.

It's forecasted to rain for the exact duration of the party (yay).

All I can do at this point is hope that the weather is kind to me but I can't change it unfortunately so, what will be will be. I'm going to nip out today and get some things for pass the parcel and just hope for the best.

If nothing else, this party has taught me a lot of what to do and what not to do for her next birthdays.

I really do appreciate all your advice and kind comments. Wish me luck!

That is a ridiculous and insane schedule. Odd

OK then. I did run children's birthday parties for pay for a bit but you know best.

Most 3yos attention isn't much more than 10 minutes, hence the time slots. Always better to have more games you don't use than to run out. It may seem regimented but if everyone was having a lovely time doing craft of course I wouldn't move them on. However experience suggests that it is time to introduce something new when roughly 2/3 have lost interest and for 3yo that is likely to be 10-15 mins absolute max, regardless of how much you have paid.

Hi op,I apologise if this sounds trite,I don't intend it to be anything but helpful.🌈
When you start to feel stressed then take some deep breaths,four seconds in four out and listen to your breathing and feel yourself calm.
Also try living in the moment and not worrying about something that hasn't happened,is very unlikely to happen and it doesn't matter if it did happen.just put your intention out there for a fun enjoyable day.
Nobody expects or wants perfection.happiness is what you are aiming for and the more upbeat and smiling you are,the better your guests will feel and the better you will feel.
You just relax and have a great day.🌈

And TBF I wouldn't go for this format necessarily with 3yos, as others have said soft play or farm visit would be much less work. For the record I don't consider any of the games I listed as complicated, actually the one I hesitated over was musical statues. Head,shoulders and Simon says are very much preschool games. Musical cushions might be easier than statues at this age.

Wow

That's a bit extreme every 10m

Have two games - pass the parcel and fun on the bouncy Castle and drawing for those who want some time out

And 10m character is madness. Assume op has prob paid £100/150 for her if similar to our prices locally

As I said I based it on average 3yo attention span. I have never used or had any experience of " character experience " but 30 mins is an age for a 3yo (some of them will be 2?). Ever tried doing "Simon says" or " oranges and lemons" for more than 10 minutes? Mind numbing.

I'm keen to know how it went!

It was amazing! The weather was fine. The children loved it. It's funny because on the actual day I wasn't nervous or stressed at all, I think I just thought what will be, will be.

Dd had an amazing day and loved every second of it too.

I won't be in a rush to do another children's party anytime soon though. At least for a good few years! All the stress was so worth seeing dd so happy.

Thanks again everyone for all your kind words.

So pleased to hear that @dreamsiclex!