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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Giving up breast feeding

27 replies

Thelonelychicken · 28/02/2023 17:07

Ds is 6 weeks old. Hv thinks he's got cows protein allergy. Has all the symptoms. Gp appointment tomorrow.
We just introduced a bottle so others can feed while I rest or get things done.
If gp agrees it's cows allergy should I just give up bf for the formula they'll prescribe while I give up dairy then move to pumping.
I know it's a bad thought but how expensive is being dairy free?

I'm running on 45 minutes sleep atm so judgement is cloudy.

OP posts:

QuinnofHearts · 28/02/2023 17:07

No. Happy mum, happy baby.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 28/02/2023 17:09

If you think giving up bf is best for you then do it.

StillTryingtoBuy · 28/02/2023 17:10

There’s no need to move to formula if you don’t want to, but absolutely do if that’s what you prefer. Cutting out dairy isn’t too bad at all, there are a lot of options out there now for dairy free and dairy alternatives, both in super markets and for eating out. Dairy free formula isn’t always that easy to feed to babies because of the taste so that’s something to think about - you could always give it a try while also cutting out dairy, see how you go and take it from there?

whitebreadjamsandwich · 28/02/2023 17:10

What are the symptoms? Easiest way to check is go df for 3 weeks, have something with dairy, and see the reaction. It's not expensive to be dairy free - just cook without it and don't go mad buying substitutes (which taste like crap most of the time anyway). A lot of breastfeeding issues present as reflux/allergy, so if you haven't already, seeing a breastfeeding counsellor for a latch check etc would be useful? Does baby gasp or splutter at the breast at all?

(But if you want to give up, crack on - your boobs, your choice!)

MeinKraft · 28/02/2023 17:11

When it starts to feel like a punishment just give it up. You're supposed to enjoy the baby stage.

Chickenly · 28/02/2023 17:31

I’m dairy free because DD has CMPA. Whilst it can take a few weeks to fully leave your system, the vast majority is out by 6 hours. We saw a marked improvement within a couple of days. I haven’t noticed being dairy-free as being expensive, or do you mean the dairy-free formula? I’ve saved a fortune on pizza 😂

It’s pretty clear some posters just want to tell you to give up breastfeeding without even having read the OP. Why can’t people just support other people’s choices instead of constantly wanting everyone on their “side”?

Letstaketotheskies · 28/02/2023 17:34

Wait to see how your daughter takes to the dairy free formula before you make any decisions. If she hates it, going dairy free yourself and breastfeeding might feel like the less difficult option.
I recommend a splash of coconut cream in coffee or hot chocolate instead of milk. I’ve not tried it in tea though.

Original poster

Thelonelychicken · 28/02/2023 17:35

Symptoms are unhappy most of the time. Really windy. Rash. Runny nappies. Reflux. Very stuffy he snores and snorts when just breathing normally. When he's crying and takes a breathe in its a huge snort kind of noise.

OP posts:

Springintoabetterlife · 28/02/2023 17:38

Honestly as a fellow CMPA Mum I would say keep feeding. Trying to get the right formula plus one your baby will accept can be very problematic.

Going dairy free depends on what you currently eat/want to eat. I would say you need a good milk (no soya) which is forfeited with calcium, vitamin D and iodine. Asda own oat milk is suitable and is 1.20 a litre.

Crunchymum · 28/02/2023 17:40

I don't think the GP will be able to confirm CMPA so young so likely all that will be suggested is dairy free formula or you going dairy free yourself so you can continue BF'ing.

Neither is right or wrong.

We used the dairy free formula for tube fed DC3 (who showed signs of CMPA and was under a dietitian due to having an NG tube so she prescribed it) and it smelt vile. I suspect if DC3 was taking it orally it would have been refused. It didn't help either.

HippeePrincess · 28/02/2023 17:40

If it were me I’d express to keep up my supply, whilst trialling the dairy free formula and going dairy free so you have options to keep bf if it’s otherwise going well.
Are there any other signs that it might be tongue tie and not cmpi/have you had a referral to the infant feeding team in your area who are trained to spot even TT that don’t look immediately obvious?

BurtonsRevenge · 28/02/2023 17:42

Whatever you do. Don't give up breastfeeding

Chanel05 · 28/02/2023 17:53

Definitely keep bf and try out the forumula if that's what you want to do.

My dc2 had a bottle a day from 1 week old and then at 7 weeks old point blank refused to have one. He's nearly 11 weeks old now and nothing we do will get him to take a bottle, so my advice would be not to jack it in just yet, just in case you get a bit of bottle refusal too!

Original poster

Thelonelychicken · 28/02/2023 17:59

I can't see an obvious tounge tie. My middle ds has tounge tie. Possibly a lip tie going on. My boobs are fine no cracks no pain so I don't know if it's a latch thing.

Just feel guilty that something My body is making to feed him is hurting him. Isn't mum guilt fun?

OP posts:

Original poster

Thelonelychicken · 28/02/2023 18:00

Oh and referral made to check tounge tie

OP posts:

MisschiefMaker · 28/02/2023 18:09

Keep breastfeeding because if you stop and then find that the formula isn't good for him it'll be a nightmare, you'll have to keep switching around for the right formula. With breastfeeding you can always eliminate things from your diet.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 28/02/2023 21:53

Oh dont feel bad, honestly, quit dairy and you'll quickly see an improvement if it is CMPA

pointythings · 28/02/2023 22:28

If it's CMPA then you'll see a rapid improvement if you keep bf but cut out dairy, and it's not forever. Oat milk is a good substitute, works well in tea and coffee and also makes a mean hot chocolate. Yes, you'll miss cheese but only until you wean. There's so many good alternatives now, and trying this first will also tell you if it's not CPMA. It's not easy to diagnose.

Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily · 28/02/2023 22:34

All 3 of mine had CMPA. I fed them all, the first trialled the dairy free formula and wouldn't take it. being dairy free now is so much easier and so many options that weren't there a few years ago, check all ingredients on things you currently eat and drink and you may be surprised as to what has and hasn't got milk in it. We use Oatly Barista for milk, flora, and several Tesco own brand cheap biscuits are also naturally dairy free.

Missscarletintheconservatory · 28/02/2023 22:37

QuinnofHearts · 28/02/2023 17:07

No. Happy mum, happy baby.

For me, happy mum equalled breestfeeding, I really wanted to.
It might not be what OP wants but when switching to formula was one of the options suggested to me it was what I least wanted.

I think happy baby equals happy mum. And yes this baby might be happy on a dairy free formula, if that's what his mum wants.

OP the mum guilt is real for life so do what suits you best at the time. There seems to always be something!

MattieandmummyandIs · 28/02/2023 22:45

Personally I would keep breastfeeding, it sounds like a hassle to go dairy free but it's really not and if you cut out dairy you will very quickly find out if it is CMPA or not. My HV was very quick to diagnose CMPA, my GP said it wasn't CMPA as there was no failure to thrive but said I could go dairy free if I wanted to test her theory. Turns out my GP was right, it wasn't CMPA.

Have you by any chance got a fast let down? It can cause coughing and choking at the boob plus a lot of the other symptoms you mentioned. If it is that, then the only solution is time and your baby growing - once both of mine were 4 months it really wasn't an issue any more and I think even by 3 months things had hugely improved.

Lavender14 · 28/02/2023 23:10

If you want to stop then you are absolutely within your rights to and you've already given baby a great start by breastfeeding for this long. What I would say is that cows protein allergies are very common and are often a temporary pita. I cut back my dairy intake and I noticed a big difference in ds he was same as yours without the rash but the wind was shocking. I personally didn't find it too difficult to cut out. Just used Oat milk in my porridge in the morning and drank herbal tea instead of normal. Only bit I really missed was cheese and chocolate. I try reintroducing every now and then and for now I have have milk in my tea and cheese to top a meal and can have a little chocolate, just couldn't do much more than that and need to be mindful of how much i eat across the day. Ds is 13 weeks now. If you would want to keep bf going I'd try going dairy free for a few weeks and see if it makes a difference and if it feels sustainable for you. If you want to move on to formula then you do what's right for you and your situation. Happy mummy happy baby.

mindutopia · 28/02/2023 23:16

If breastfeeding is otherwise working, I’d keep going and cut out dairy for now. It will surely be so much easier than a (not so tasty) formula if he doesn’t take to it.

The main question though is why are you only getting 45 minutes of sleep? Do you have a partner? When mine were little, Dh literally had them every second of the day unless he was at work or I was feeding them. He had them all evening so I could get 4-5 hours of sleep, then I’d do like 1-5am and then he’d get up and take over and I’d get a few more hours of sleep before he left for work at 8am. It made much more sense for each of us to have 5 hours of sleep ish per night than one of us try to cope on 2 hours.

Original poster

Thelonelychicken · 28/02/2023 23:59

OH was working nights last night hence lack of sleep. Tonight I'll get some sleep back. Also have a 3 year old who has a cold atm. Wish I could split myself into 3.

Wee baby is a right boobie monster and wants fed every hour or so. He's a chunk. Think he wants fed alot due to reflux.

I need him to be able to have a bottle has I've got to go away when he's 5 months and I can't get him used to it on normal formula.

Think what I'll do is cut out dairy and pump for bottles

OP posts:

ChildcareIsBroken · 01/03/2023 03:56

If breastfeeding is going well, I'd continue. Baby's symptoms will improve quickly once you change diet if that's what causing them. For me pumping was hard work, so I'd recommend continuing feeding directly, but that's my preference, you do what's best for you.

From the sound of it though, it could be tongue tie, so glad you'll have it checked. It's not always visible.

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