To ask about Mates Rates

[girlfriend44]

How do you deal with friends and family if you have a trade/skill own a shop etc.
Do people you know well expect stuff done for free/cheap etc.
My uncle was a decorator many years ago. I remember he quoted my parents for a decorating job. They found someone cheaper and it caused awkwardness.

I think that if you’re going to be upset if someone goes elsewhere then you shouldn’t quote or work for family or friends; my DH will say to people that he doesn’t mind if they go elsewhere and he genuinely doesn’t mind.
He’ll do it for a bit cheaper but if you’re earning a living you can’t really go too low for mates rates

Personally I do not think that if you supply a service to friends or family you shouldn’t give them a discount unless you want too and can afford too.

I had a friend of mine who owned a small business do some bits and bobs for me for my wedding day. She offered me a discount as we were friends but she has a young daughter and I knew needed the money - especially with the bills and pretty much everything increasing at the moment. I declined the discount and paid her what her goods were valued for. She was shocked and very grateful and said everyone else expects cheaper rates if they are friends and family.

I think it is better to support a friend or family member by paying full price for their goods rather than expecting it on the cheap.

I don't do mates rates, and recommend my clients don't either. Causes nothing but trouble as the "mates" want the same quality/speed of service and when you don't give it to them (because you're busy with people who aren't too tight to pay), they get uppity about it. I tend to avoid working for friends/family altogether, and will either say I'm too busy or say the kind of work they want is something I don't do.

I don't expect mates rates. We have a family member who is a mechanic. I'm happy for them to do my car and charge whatever it costs. The favour is he can usually squeeze it in at short notice and I know I'm not getting ripped off by some cow boy.

I wouldn't expect a friend to give a discount... its their income after all! DH and his friends do "trade swaps" though (helping each there out) and one friend will get stuff at trade instead of commercial prices for mates.

If it is something that they make their living doing, then expecting mates rates is a really shitty thing to do when they could be using that time either earning more money, or with their family.

Never ask.

Get other quotes first and then if they quote less than another trade then you know you are getting a reduction.

Personally I wouldn't expect a discount from friends and relatives. I would choose to use someone I know to support their business and because I trust them, not to get freebies.

I’m a lawyer.

I give advice to close family and close friends in a very casual way. I do not represent them, write letters or sign documents ever. I tend to speak in very general terms and don’t investigate any aspect of the situation. I explain what the law is and tend to avoid actually recommending specific action. I do not give any advice or insight to acquaintances ever. I give advice to people on Mumsnet when they ask and promptly get told I’m wrong by people who spent thirty seconds on Google. I don’t charge anyone.

No good deed goes unpunished.

My husband has a specialist skill and he has learned NEVER AGAIN to do anyone a favour. It's always a nightmare.

I think the whole concept of "mates rates" is cheeky and would never ask. I expect to be billed at whatever someone's standard rate is, regardless of their relationship to me.

I make celebration cakes, and have offered “mates rates” to a couple of friends, and they’ve told me off for it. Along the lines of “you have a skill, don’t sell yourself short”.
I do occasionally gift a cake to friends - like when a close friend’s baby turned 1, the cake was my birthday gift to him.

I don't give mates rates and would never expect it off other self employed friends, they're my friends so I want to support their business and pay fully for their time and skill.

My bf has offered to do some electrical work in my house for free. I know how much he hates people asking as he's got his work to get on with and needs a break but I said no thanks. It's not fair.

My DH used to be self employed and found that actually when he offered 'mates rates' people tended to expect even more from him than his usual customers. I think somehow getting it for cheap seemed to make them think his time was worth less, or perhaps they thought he must be short of work and they were doing him a favour.

Mind you, we also found that it was the usually the CFs that asked for 'mates rates' in the first place.

Offering mates rates never ends well imho. I've had people imply they are doing me the favour by giving me work!! I have even being told to break down what it is that l do exactly and whether l am justified charging what l do.

The worst thing is so many people really don't get that, this is someone's living and asking them to lower their prices affects how they will live.

Lawyer here too. Lol at the people on here who tell me I'm wrong too!
I have got fed up of friends of friends, and family of friends (ie people I either barely know or have met once or twice) getting in contact as x friend has given my number out, and expecting free advice. It is a complete expectation. One recent one had me on the phone for 1 hour 40 mins. I'd never met him.
My fault for not being tougher but I always tried to help. I'm stricter now with my time as we have a normal busy family life without losing great chunks of it doing my job for free for people who I don't know.
I honestly would never dream of not offering to pay a friend / acquaintance if they cut my hair / gave advice / helped me out. If they refused I'd thank them with a gift.
One particular couple have had me advise 3 members of their family (inc the 1 hr 40m one). Never so much as a thank you. Won't happen again.
On the other side I've signed a document for people which has taken a few mins and they've given me a bottle of wine (not expected but a lovely gesture)
So back to the OP - I think it does depend on the relationship and whether they'd do same for you if roles reversed, and whether you want to offer a discount. Or not.

When I ran a photography business I had loads of friends asking for mate rates expecting it near enough free so I wouldn't of even been able to pay myself so I refused.

I think it's very rude to expect mate rates. You're paying for a service.

we are now going thru this. We are retiring and leaving the country in 6 weeks. We have bought a gorgeous condo on the beach in the carribean. People are coming out of the woodworks. It is horrible. My husband is a very talented tradesman and has helped out our friends for no money over the years..but now. this feels intrusive. they are now asking to stay for a couple of weeks because resorts are SO expensive (carribean location)... UM. when people that you talk to once or twice a year...never have lifted a finger to help us..now want free accomodation which would mean me cooking and cleaning. NOPE. 7 couples have asked!! NOPE. they can come over for a dinner..from their HOTEL

@BritishDesiGirl I actually did this once 😂
I had a friend of a friend contact me abojt a cake. They wanted a 6inch, 4-stacked, fully decorated cake…and were offering me £35 for it 😂🤯 When I said something like that wouldn’t leave my kitchen for less than £80, she demanded a breakdown of my pricing. She was apparently shocked that she’d be paying for my time as well as the ingredients and equipment needed 🙃🙃😂 as if my bills pay themeselves.

Depends. If I was a cake maker for example, I might choose to make a cake for my best friends wedding, in lieu of a gift. If someone asked me and they were very close, maybe I'd make one at cost price.

If I was a decorator I wouldn't be decorating someone's house for free. I might agree to work odd hours or on a weekend to get a paid job done for them. Maybe.

As a customer, I always expect to pay full price.

On the odd occasion I've done this, I chose to do the work completely free rather than at mates rates; it cuts down on the demands and also on the me toos, since vague acquaintances might hope they'll also get a discount but very few push it far enough to expect it for nothing

And the occasional one who does is easily dealt with ...

“I’m sorry, my contract of employment stipulates that I can’t give any advice outside of firm work because it contributes to our pro bono portfolio and all pro bono work needs to be formally approved to avoid biases. Most high street firms offer a free session so I’d recommend calling around.” On repeat.

I stopped doing mate’s rates when DH and I were having an issue and really could have used some help, (nothing too time consuming or strenuous), and every single person we asked came up with a myriad excuses as to why they couldn’t help out.

I stopped every single freebie or discounted service/advice from that point onwards and honestly the incredulity some cheeky fuckers showed when I explained the gravy train had come to a stop was astonishing.

Never expect mates rates, if they're in a trade I'm grateful to have the contact and know they're reliable/won't rip me off. Frankly that's priceless anyway.