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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradesman ate my crisps - do I bring it up?

298 replies

LostSleep · 28/02/2023 12:52

We are currently renovating a property before moving in. We have all of our furniture there but are staying elsewhere. The windows are currently being renovated. When I went in to see the progress I noticed my multipack of crisps was empty and there were several empty packets of crisps strewn in different rooms.

AIBU to raise this with the lead tradesman?

I have left quite a bit a food there as we are there most days doing DIY/decorating but haven't been there while the windows are being renovated.

My partner says there isn't any point in raising it. Nothing will come out of it.

OP posts:
Cotonsugar · 28/02/2023 17:59

Littleflowerseverywhere · 28/02/2023 12:56

I suspect he thought they were left for him, when we have trades people in we often leave biscuits etc out. I’d put them in a cupboard next time.

can’t believe someone said it was theft 🤣

If you take something without asking then it’s theft 😊

Sunriseinwonderland · 28/02/2023 18:00

Yes of course bring it up. They ate proper piss takers. People like that often do a rubbish job. I wouldn't leave them unsupervised.

cassiatwenty · 28/02/2023 18:00

Walkaround · 28/02/2023 17:55

It’s the total lack of respect for extremely basic standards of behaviour that would get me. If you’re the sort of person who is happy to eat other people’s food when it clearly has not been left out for you (unless you also wear a nappy, so might have thought it possible it was intended for you…); and then chuck the packets and other people’s clothes on a dirty floor, then I would worry you were also the sort of slob who had fuck all professional standards generally and who might well be doing a bodged job of the work you were paid for, and fly tipping anything you actually bothered to take away with you.

Is it just because most builders are men that such revolting standards of behaviour in someone else’s home are tolerated?

Clearly one can tell a lot about a person's work ethic and deep-seated childhood traumas looking at how they eat a few crisps 🤣

Walkaround · 28/02/2023 18:01

Littleflowerseverywhere · 28/02/2023 17:56

This maybe the most dramatic yet. 😂

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😂I know 😂. It is nevertheless impressively bad manners to eat other people’s food and then throw the rubbish on the floor.

cassiatwenty · 28/02/2023 18:02

mumoftinyterrors · 28/02/2023 17:56

100% correct. I also supplied endless cold drinks and ice lollies to our landscapers when the weather was boiling last summer. They literally did anything I asked of them, nothing was too much trouble. Being nice goes a long way and people will work harder if they perceive they are being looked after.

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Zelda has shown nothing but class on this thread 👏

Cotonsugar · 28/02/2023 18:02

I would ask in a joking way about the missing crisps to see what they say. I would be annoyed if that was me, it’s rude to not ask before taking food from someone’s house whether you’re working there or not.

Onthemaintrunkline · 28/02/2023 18:03

Cheeky sod! I wouldn’t be leaving anything edible about if I could help it.

tenbob · 28/02/2023 18:04

Sunriseinwonderland · 28/02/2023 18:00

Yes of course bring it up. They ate proper piss takers. People like that often do a rubbish job. I wouldn't leave them unsupervised.

I think they just ate crisps… piss takers would be too crunchy

Cherrysoup · 28/02/2023 18:04

DramaLlama20 · 28/02/2023 16:46

I can't get past the idea that you bought yourself grapes as a 'treat'.

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I was so broke. I'd moved to London to follow my now DH, I was at the start of my teaching career. I was stony broke, renting our first flat.

Cherrysoup · 28/02/2023 18:07

bellylaughsalldaylong · 28/02/2023 17:54

Stealing? Really?

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Taking without consent, no intention of returning it, the very definition of theft. Would you help yourself to someone's belongings because they were there? Is there a difference between taking eg a fiver the homeowner has accidentally left or something edible?

BoneTiredMother · 28/02/2023 18:07

How naff and ignorant of you. Are you really that petty? They are crisps. He is working in your home. As for those referring to 'theft' how were your reared? Where is your grace? Your manners?

autocarrot · 28/02/2023 18:08

I've had builders in my house for about 2 years on and off, and this wouldn't worry me at all. If they ate my crisps, I'd think "oh, they like crisps - must buy double quantities so there are enough for them too". As a general rule, anything that is left out is for general consumption by whoever happens to fancy it. There's also the fact that I'm so untidy that I wouldn't even remember what was out and what wasn't.

autocarrot · 28/02/2023 18:11

Btw, these same builders have done a million things for me that aren't on the official list, and have done them with smiles. Some of the things I've asked them to do are well beyond the call of duty, and I can only think that it's partly because I'm nice to them.

feelingrubbish2023 · 28/02/2023 18:12

I try and feed tradesman in the hope of getting better service Blush I made sausage sandwiches recently for the plumbers that came round.

LaDamaDeElche · 28/02/2023 18:12

This is a very U.K. thing lol. Builders in other parts of Europe aren't treated to an assortment of squash/tea/coffee/cake/biscuits etc. In Spain, builders have a break mid morning where they go to a bar and get themselves a sandwich and a coffee. It's always a source of amusement, and sometimes irritation, for the ones who have English clients disturbing them every 30 mins to offer them various snacks and beverages 😂

Btjdkfnn · 28/02/2023 18:12

Really disrespectful. I don't know why some mners seem to think this kind of thing is OK. Nicking your food and chucking your clothing onto a dusty floor. Although it isn't too serious, it's crap behaviour that the average 12yo knows isn't acceptable.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/02/2023 18:12

mondaytosunday · 28/02/2023 13:21

I'd raise a complaint about not putting stuff in the bin and not respecting your personal belongings. Any workman should know better.

This. I think chucking my overalls on the floor would really annoy me. Yes, sit on the chairs, but put the stuff back when you've done.

IME of having workmen/builders in over many years, I think they can take the piss a bit. I think maybe it is something to do with psychologically they see it as their place of work, rather than your house IUSIM? Rude as fuck though. I can't tell you how irritated I was when I got my car back from the garage recently, to find they'd been listening and tuned into a radio station I don't have preset, lost the settings for my radio station, and just left it on the local station. Listen to what you want mate, but put it back on my station, and don't fuck with it!

RealSandwich · 28/02/2023 18:16

Walkaround · 28/02/2023 17:55

It’s the total lack of respect for extremely basic standards of behaviour that would get me. If you’re the sort of person who is happy to eat other people’s food when it clearly has not been left out for you (unless you also wear a nappy, so might have thought it possible it was intended for you…); and then chuck the packets and other people’s clothes on a dirty floor, then I would worry you were also the sort of slob who had fuck all professional standards generally and who might well be doing a bodged job of the work you were paid for, and fly tipping anything you actually bothered to take away with you.

Is it just because most builders are men that such revolting standards of behaviour in someone else’s home are tolerated?

Absolutely this. I'm shocked that some people seem to think this behaviour is trivial or ok. It's not. I'd be horrified if my son or husband thought it was ok to chuck his client's belongings on a dirty floor, eat their snacks and leave the wrappers strewn around.

How to bring it up might need a bit of careful handling so as not to piss them off but I certainly wouldn't be ignoring it or shrugging it off as 'meh, builders...'.

lljkk · 28/02/2023 18:19

Every time I see this thread title I crave crisps.

Walkaround · 28/02/2023 18:21

I reckon people’s reaction on here is more through fear of the reaction if challenged than a lack of understanding that it is exceptionally bad manners to throw other people’s things in the dirt, help yourself uninvited to other people’s food and to chuck your rubbish on someone else’s floor. That’s why I think it is behaviour people only tolerate when men do it…

cassiatwenty · 28/02/2023 18:22

@autocarrot 👍😊

MarthaMC · 28/02/2023 18:23

I really don't understand the lengths people are going to to try and make tradesmen happy. Yes I've always offered a drink and basic biscuits if it's half a day's work or more but snack stations, letting them help themselves, buying lunch..? I've learnt you get no better service by running round after them. Some of my best workmen have brought there own flasks and refused snacks, some of the worse I've made them tea and snacks every hour (young and naive!) and they've taken the p*ss with the work and my house.

To OP's question I'd say something like 'would you mind not touching stuff in this room please' if the concern is them becoming spiteful/retaliating then they're crappy people anyway and this will probably be the least of your worries!

Honestly household trades must be the only services in the world were you feel you have to beg them to please take (lots of) your money and then hope they like you enough to actually turn up and do a half decent job. Really wish it was a properly regulated industry.

bellylaughsalldaylong · 28/02/2023 18:23

Cherrysoup · 28/02/2023 18:07

Taking without consent, no intention of returning it, the very definition of theft. Would you help yourself to someone's belongings because they were there? Is there a difference between taking eg a fiver the homeowner has accidentally left or something edible?

Show quote history

Christ you’re a bit dramatic 😂😂😂

he ate some crisps, he didn’t steal your jewellery.

AllyArty · 28/02/2023 18:26

why don’t u ask him/her what’s their favourite flavour is and buy a big bag just for them?

Walkaround · 28/02/2023 18:28

AllyArty · 28/02/2023 18:26

why don’t u ask him/her what’s their favourite flavour is and buy a big bag just for them?

Why don’t they ask themselves what their favourite crisps are and bring their own food with them? 🤣