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Original poster

Wills and step family

53 replies

eyeoresnewhome · 27/02/2023 22:27

My dad died last year.. been married to my stepmother for 40 years.. we have always got on well.

They had mirror Wills. So my step mum inherited everything. House worth 1.2m (nothing special but south east).

Wills say everything to each other and then everything between the four of us. Two children each none joint.

Step mum just passed and it turns out she changed her Will 6 months ago (when in sound mind ) and left us out leaving all to her two kids.. ( they are mortified- genuinely) want to know what they can do... can they change it to make it as our dad had wanted it ?

OP posts:
parietal · 27/02/2023 22:28

yes, if they both agree they can write a deed of variation that changes the will.

RaininSummer · 27/02/2023 22:28

Can't they just give you two half once all sorted if they really want to? Just wondering as don't know the legalities.

blackbeardsballsack · 27/02/2023 22:29

That is horrendous. Surely if they are mortified they will divide it equally?

BeardieWeirdie · 27/02/2023 22:29

What an utter bitch. Even if they can’t change it, here’s hoping they accept and pass half straight onto you and your sibling.

fizzyfood · 27/02/2023 22:29

Draw up a deed of variation.

AnotherForumUser · 27/02/2023 22:30

A solicitor can help them draw up a deed of variation.

Original poster
eyeoresnewhome · 27/02/2023 22:31

A deed of variation ? Have just called my step sister .. she had found this solution too !

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/02/2023 22:31

What everyone else has said.

But that’s unbelievably shitty of your SM.

SomeareDeluded · 27/02/2023 22:34

She was obviously not of sound mind to do that to the children of the man she was married to all those years.

So very sorry and how unfair OP.

Gooseysgirl · 27/02/2023 22:35

Wow what a nasty thing to do!!! I'm really glad your step siblings are being fair and sensible about this - hope it all gets sorted easily!

Starlitestarbright · 27/02/2023 22:36

That's really nice to hear your step siblings are decent people. Doesn't say alot about your step mother though.

Original poster
eyeoresnewhome · 27/02/2023 22:36

Ok ,,, stand down vipers ❤️. .. just as I typed this my step sister found this solution too.. she is going to call the Solicitor in the morning to get this set up.. thankfully her brother (my step brother ) completely agrees this is correct way to go

However ... if we didn't get on so well what the fuck ???

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2023 22:38

Glad you’ve agreed a solution.

It’s a massively dick move but so easily avoidable. Blended families are complicated and it’s up to both parties to ensure provision for their own children rather than leaving it to the goodwill of a spouse, no matter how long the marriage.

Mirror wills aren’t appropriate in this set up.

ThreeLittleDots · 27/02/2023 22:40

Yeah, if you didn't get on so well there would be nothing you could do. Assuming she was of sound mind, not coerced etc.

fastandthecurious1 · 27/02/2023 22:40

That's awful.... I am too worried about this my dad passed away last year and had a mirror will so their joint home when anything happens to my step mum will go between me and her two sons, we all get ok (us children) and get youngest is the executor of the will.

My step mum and I are close and I don't think she'd ever do something like this but clearly it does happen!

Jizzle · 27/02/2023 22:55

I can't say I think this is overly shitty by your step-mum, she is well within her rights to change her will as she sees fit. It's perfectly legal, circumstances change after all.

If anything, I think this is on your dad, however much you wont want to hear that. If he had genuinely wanted things to be split between everyone and not give his wife (of 40 years!) her own ability to change things should she so want, he could have quite easily have set up a life trust, meaning she can live in the house until her death, at which point the proceeds are split as they both agreed.

Napmum · 27/02/2023 22:57

Wow, your step siblings sounds amazing. Glad they are doing the right thing.

Sorry this happened, it is so wrong and your Dad trusted her! It does create complex emotions over the whole ordeal. Sorry for your losses

TheaBrandt · 27/02/2023 22:59

Hope other evil step mothers read and take note. The adult children do the decent thing and you are remembered by all of them as a total bitch. Not a great outcome for her…

whatyoulookingfor · 27/02/2023 23:13

Glad your step siblings are thoroughly decent people. I literally had a row with my DH last week about this. He thought I was fixating on him dying as I was insisting that we signed our wills. He didn't seem to understand that if he died and had no will then I'd get everything and if I was a bitch (which I'm not) that his daughter would get nothing, vice versa my own kids.

I think I finally got him to understand as he signed it the next day!!

Fifi0102 · 27/02/2023 23:32

My DF remarried I hope she doesn't do this Step bro already lives in her old property and she's moved in with my DF.

Nanny0gg · 27/02/2023 23:55

eyeoresnewhome · 27/02/2023 22:36

Ok ,,, stand down vipers ❤️. .. just as I typed this my step sister found this solution too.. she is going to call the Solicitor in the morning to get this set up.. thankfully her brother (my step brother ) completely agrees this is correct way to go

However ... if we didn't get on so well what the fuck ???

Not to the same value but happened to me too. SM left everything to her children. No way they would have changed it

Fenella123 · 28/02/2023 00:10

I'm in the same position - one parent died, left everything to the step parent. Luckily we get on well but I'm not relying on their will staying the same, because, well, people. You just never quite know.

@Fifi0102 not much you can do about it tbh.

If your DF didn't make a new will after he married, his widow gets ...
www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y/england-and-wales/yes/after-feb-2020/yes
"If the estate is worth up to £270,000
The husband, wife or civil partner gets all of the estate.

If the husband, wife or civil partner died after the deceased, their share will become part of their own estate.

If the estate is worth over £270,000
The estate will be divided between the husband, wife or civil partner and the children of the deceased.

The husband, wife or civil partner gets:

up to £270,000 in assets, and half of the rest of the estate
all of the personal possessions of the deceased
The children of the deceased are entitled to a share of the half of the estate above £270,000."

Fifi0102 · 28/02/2023 00:13

Fenella123 · 28/02/2023 00:10

I'm in the same position - one parent died, left everything to the step parent. Luckily we get on well but I'm not relying on their will staying the same, because, well, people. You just never quite know.

@Fifi0102 not much you can do about it tbh.

If your DF didn't make a new will after he married, his widow gets ...
www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y/england-and-wales/yes/after-feb-2020/yes
"If the estate is worth up to £270,000
The husband, wife or civil partner gets all of the estate.

If the husband, wife or civil partner died after the deceased, their share will become part of their own estate.

If the estate is worth over £270,000
The estate will be divided between the husband, wife or civil partner and the children of the deceased.

The husband, wife or civil partner gets:

up to £270,000 in assets, and half of the rest of the estate
all of the personal possessions of the deceased
The children of the deceased are entitled to a share of the half of the estate above £270,000."

He mentioned he's done an update to his will he's savvy with money. I guess I just have to hope his wishes will be respected. The law does need updating with the rise of second marriages.

Fifi0102 · 28/02/2023 00:15

I'd be livid if I died and my share went to DHs second wife and offspring as opposed to my DD 😡.

Fenella123 · 28/02/2023 00:36

Fifi0102 · 28/02/2023 00:15

I'd be livid if I died and my share went to DHs second wife and offspring as opposed to my DD 😡.

Well you would be dead so not livid ;)

To avoid that scenario you'd need a will either that leaves stuff directly to DD, or in trust for her with some sort of life interest to DH. Solicitors do this all the time, my other parent did this so their surviving partner gets to live on in the house but after that the house comes to us kids.

Or, if you have a chunk that realistically you won't need and you reckon you won't die any time soon, simply give DD it now - that works, you just have to be sure about the "will never need it" bit, and pray they don't fritter it away while you're still alive to see it.

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