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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell this person to never text me again and delete my number (with thanks to expat for the quote thats inspired me)

36 replies

ShakeysGirl · 09/02/2008 23:24

Expat quoted Eleanor Roosevelte on a thread recently - something about no one being able to make you feel inadequate without your consent and its made me think. Dp and i have a friend who every so often goes odd and starts texting me nasty messages and i've just accepted it as part of who he is but last night he made me cry again and i've decided its enough. Hes just texted asking how i am, no sorry or reference to last night, i'm not having it any longer. I don't need the stress. AIBU?

OP posts:
MAMAZON · 09/02/2008 23:25

YANBU

my sister has a saying that she uses when freaky men get her number " my phone is for friends and family, you are neither. do not contact me again"

ConnorTraceptive · 09/02/2008 23:26

YANBU give it to him with both barrells

ConnorTraceptive · 09/02/2008 23:27

Ooh good line Mamazon

TenaciousG · 09/02/2008 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2008 23:32

What a bastard.

That's not a friend!

And being drunk is no excuse.

tearinghairout · 09/02/2008 23:32

The Eleanor Roosevelt quote made me think too, although I heard it on TV.

Yanbu to dump him as a friend - friends do not behave like that, but have you explained to DP, as you say this person is his friend too?

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 09/02/2008 23:44

He does it to everyone mainly when hes drunk but dp has been good friends with him for 25 years so just puts up with it as do the rest of his circle of friends, they all pretend its never happened. He quite frequently storms out of pubs etc. Hes a big petulant child. I haven't text him back yet and hes sending me messages saying he likes me but cares about my dp more. No idea what the relevance is and don't care. Feel quite empowered actually!

OP posts:
3andnomore · 09/02/2008 23:49

Hm, whilst I completely understand your feeling, it's hard to say if Yanbu or Yabu, because, well, what is the reason that that friend gets like that? If there is a real reason for it, I would let my distate be known, but would support that person, but if there is no real reason known, then, well, that person is just being nasty...not sure if I made sense here...

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 09/02/2008 23:56

Hes just text again (he gets free texts and don't we know it) saying that he knows i love dp but its hard for him seeing us together sometimes (he frequently invites himself on dates with us although dp sets aside a night a week to go out with just him) but that he likes me and wants us to be friends. Hes 27, never had a girlfriend and lives with his parents. He may be jealous, insecure or whatever but thats not my problem, my concerns are my friends and family, i'm decluttering my life

OP posts:
3andnomore · 10/02/2008 00:02

erm, ok, that is pretty weird, and show your dp the txt and break up all contact...

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 10/02/2008 00:14

He sent dp the exact same texts last night so chances are hes doing the same again. He used to send dp ones saying your girlfriend is a freak etc but dp told him that if he carried on he would no longer be considered a friend. I have quite severe depression and although it sounds dumb since i read that quote its made me want to turn my life around. Tidy my house, stop giving my time and energy to those who don't deserve it and focus on my family. This is a good start, i don't want negative people in my life

OP posts:
3andnomore · 10/02/2008 00:22

he sounds like a manipulator, and whilst it might be good to get him into councelling and sorting himself out (because there very well be somehting very wrong), it's not your responsibility to carry, and personally I would break up contact...

TenaciousG · 10/02/2008 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnappyLaGore · 10/02/2008 00:27

i think you are doing the right thing SG.
and well done for doing it.

LoginFailed · 10/02/2008 00:29

Message withdrawn

susiecutiemincepies · 10/02/2008 00:32

Sounds like he has a bit of a crush on you. I think YANBU.

well done, you are doing the right thing. Make sure you do it now!

I cant help thinking that your DP ought to be doing the same too.

Oh, also its not harsh to be decluttering your life at all. After all, its YOUR life, and up to you who is in it.

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 10/02/2008 00:36

Its about time i took responsibility for my own life and woke up to the fact that i have 2 wonderful children who need a lot more of their mothers time and attention both physically and emotionally. They deserve a clean tidy home and a mother who can face getting out of bed in the morning instead of hiding under the quilt all day. I am determined that it is going to happen. I've made some huge monumental fuck ups in my life but tomorrow is a new day and a new start. Hark at me all positive lol

OP posts:
Tortington · 10/02/2008 00:39

well done you

have you told the shithead to fuck off yet?

luvaduck · 10/02/2008 00:42

sg
what a great attitude
go for it - you can do it!

TenaciousG · 10/02/2008 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/02/2008 00:47

YANBU at all. Jealousy does awful things to people.

He doesnt sound like a friend you need or rely on. Cut him loose. It might even teach him a lesson.

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 10/02/2008 00:53

I've sent him a text saying that unfortunately i have neither the energy or the inclination to put up with him anymore and although i wish him well in the future there is no place for him in mine so please delete my number and don't make any effort to contact me again. I've now blocked calls and texts from his number as i'm not going to get into an arguement with him about it. I have removed my consent as eleanor roosevelt would say!

OP posts:
madamez · 10/02/2008 00:54

Or you could save the following message on your phone: 'X, you're being a knob again, go away till your manners have come back' and just text that back to him every time he does it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/02/2008 01:00

Good on you SG

Tortington · 10/02/2008 01:02

wow - bloody well done you - am v. impressed!

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