Weekend Activities - Your Thoughts?

[Dobby123456]

My dd (8) doesn't want to do her gymnastics class on a Saturday any more. Her view is, she's happy to do activities after school, but weekend is her time to have a break, play with her friends etc. If she really did play with her friends, I wouldn't mind, as they tend to play on the trampoline/ do arts and craft projects/ imaginative play. However, I can't rely on her friends always being at home. If her friends aren't in, she'll just watch TV/ play her i-pad. This is why I'm reluctant to let her drop her gymnastics class - it's not like I'm expecting her to get to olympic level, or anything, after all.

A lot of parents I speak to have this rule - kids have to do an organised activity on the weekend - it can be sport, drama, whatever they choose, but weekend can't be free time because 'free-time' almost always turns into i-pad time. Some parents seem to plan multiple activities. When my kids went swimming on Saturday, other children were changing into their dance/martial arts uniforms to go off and do another activity. That's a bit overboard for me. Where do people get the energy (and money!) to spend their weekends driving their kids to all these activities?

What are people's thoughts? AIBU to expect my kids to have at least one organised activity at the weekend, or should weekend be free time for kids?

You have two separate issues here.

I wouldn't force a child to do an activity if they didn't want to. The rule we had was that you have to carry on with the activity to the pre-paid point (usually the end of half term or term) to be sure you really want to quit.

At 8, it's also reasonable to impose screen time limits. So I'd say that she can only play on the iPad for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon (or whatever limits you think are appropriate).

We tended to go out as a family on Saturday (normally free/inexpensive things) - I do agree with you that it's hard to fill the day if you are just sitting at home, but a trip out to the park/friends/family on each weekend day helps to break the time up. Not to mention birthday parties!

We prefer our 9yo to have clubs during the week as it leaves weekends free for seeing family, trips away etc.

He has 2 hours of screen time per weekend day. We also make sure we have some plans to go out such as swimming or a bike ride if there’s nothing else on.

I've always gone for what's practical and what they want to do. I do like having the freedom to go away for the weekend (to grandparents or camping, not full on holidays!)

Currently one child has Rugby on Sundays... but its ok to miss the odd week, especially during the "off" season of May- August. (She has training during the week too). Scout camps are at the weekends too, but not every week.

They tend to do casual stuff like skating, climbing, and swimming on weekends.

I hate being tied down on weekends so I personally would not enforce weekend activities as I like family time then. The screen time is a tough one but you're going to have that battle for years to come!

There’s no point in making her do gymnastics if she doesn’t want to; and there’s nothing that wrong with iPads

Limit her time with the ipad. My 8 yo has 1h30 per weekend day, after lunch. She is so used to it she doesn't ask more. Then if we're home she draws, read, plays, does gymnastics on her mat...

Kids need to relax too.

Let her choose what she wants to do. If that's nothing then fine!

My only non negotiable is swimming, anything else they are allowed to drop if they've given it a go and genuinely don't enjoy it.
Why does it have to be screen time or gymnastics? Can't you go out for the day, organise play dates, visit friends and family - put in a bit of structure?

We limited screen time but enjoy relaxing on weekends.

We do days out sometimes but not every week. We might just go for a walk or do some baking.

My children will play if they're not on screens.

Somewhat controversially for MN, we don't have screen limits. But we do have rules around when they can use screens - ie they can't skip activities in favour of screens. They have to do chores/homework/familiy activities before screens etc. So in your example, we'd probably have a similar issue to you.

I would say you have to take steps to ensure it doesn't just become a screens day. So, perhaps you commit to organising at least one activity per weekend - a playdate, a day out with you/other family members etc - and then make it clear to your DD that if she skips gymnastics and genuinely doesn't want to do anything else, that's fine, but she can't have screens so that time that would usually spent preparing to go to gymnastics, travelling, attending etc is time she has to spend without a screen on days you don't have other plans.

I agree with your DD. It is nice to have down time at the weekends. If you want more structured activities, you could sin up to a monthly subscription to an arts or science project or similar.

Or you could do something as a family. But at that age she's not going to organise herself so if you want someone else yo plan it maybe a different activity at a different time st the week as a compromise?

I heard a really good rule about this from somewhere (can't remember where): children should be allowed to give up activities freely only when they are enjoying them.

What's great about this rule is that it gives the child the agency they need so the activity doesn't feel like a chore, but they aren't allowed to just wibble out of things because they feel like being a slob and it forces them to get over any humps in motivation or lack of self confidence.

I'm going to go against the grain here a bit: I hear a lot of talk about how being bored its good for children at the moment. I'm a bit sceptical about this. In theory it's a great idea for it to "fuel their creativity" etc. In practice these days "time being bored" almost inevitably = "time on screen". It may be easier if you have a large family and live in the countryside. I have an only child and if her friends aren't around, being bored usually leads back to screen time.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of screen time or down time, but I don't think allowing a child to give up a healthy social activity so they can slob in front of Mario Kart for hours is necessarily the way to go.

I guess it depends on a) why they want to give it up and b) what they would be doing instead. If your child genuinely isn't getting anything out of the activity and has given it a really good try then by all means don't flog a dead horse. But I would be wary of allowing them to give something up just for "down time".

As someone who asked my parents to stop an activity when I was at a similar age, I do wish they had pushed me to keep at it for a while. I was having trouble with some new moves and felt i'd rather quit than not be able to do them. I regretted it once I got to my teens and didn't pick up any other activity afterwards until I got to uni.

I would let her quit, but that doesn’t mean she needs to be on her iPad all day. Can you get out and about and do some family activities, swimming, go to the park, library etc?

Both of mine do two organised activities a week. One during the school week, and one at weekends.
The boy does climbing on a Saturday and gymnastics on a Monday.
The girl does dance on a Saturday and also gymnastics on Mondays.

I'm also keen for them to try Brownies/Cubs/Scouts when they're a little bit older, as I had a good experience of that as a child. I'd also like them to try something musical in the future, but neither currently show much interest in that area yet.

I would tell her she can stop if she still wants to after 3 more sessions.

Just put a screen time limit per day.

I think you’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be.

My "rules" are: once they've registered and I've paid they continue until the end of the course.

If they no longer wish to do a particular sport, that is fine. However they must replace it with another sport.

We do one thing together as a family at the weekend - bike ride, hike, swimming, paddling, run etc. or a board game if the weather is foul.

Device time is limited to a max of 2 hours and dependent on effort put into school work.

Personally mine prefer activities after school and weekends are free except for match/concert days.

DC10 does two sports twice a week + matches and an instrument.
DC13 does three sports once a week and is debating taking up an instrument.

My kids don’t do any weekend activities (they’re 9 and 7). We like to keep the weekends free to relax, do things as a family. Weekend clubs and traipsing about to them fills me with dread! My kids do have a fair amount of screen time (we like games as a family), but we do plenty of other things. Days out, crafts, boardgames. We like to be able to chill out and have lazy days etc. life is so busy now, I don’t see why we have to try and cram in all these extra activities. It works for some people but personally, I’d listen to my child and go with what she wants. Don’t feel guilty for not fitting into some “super mum/family” ideal where we’re all supposed to be productive and achieving 24/7 or were rubbish, lazy people.

My 8 yo didnt look at an ipad all weekend. Nor did she play with any friends. She did lots of solitary play, lego and organising her soft toys into a book club. We had a film night on saturday night and did board games before dinner. She watched tv while eating lunch. Each day she did a dog walk with DH.

I figured this was normal. This is our usual weekend routine.

I had exactly the same experience with ballet! It doesn't really matter because it's not like I was going to become a professional ballerina. But what I really needed was the adults to encourage me to keep on trying the new moves, and what I got was put down into an easier grade (discouraging) and then 'oh, you don't want to do ballet anymore? That's ok'. The problem is, what do you do when a child doesn't seem to be enjoying an activity that's meant to be 'for fun' and done during 'down time'?

If that's your normal, keep it up! That's the normal I imagined for our family, but screens keep taking over. What happens is dd has some kind of disappointment in her plans (best friend out for the day or her picture doesn't turn out the way she imagined) gets into a total sulk and seeks comfort in screens. It's a bit like having a teenager.

That sounds great. I'm trying to work out, do some kids like doing activities at the weekend, or is this all part of building the CV from age 6?

do some kids like doing activities at the weekend,
I imagine that for those in after school club every day, it's the only time they can do activities.

Where does this rule come from?

We like to have productive weeks (work, school, exercise, study) and relaxing weekends - enjoying our home and garden, reading books, watching Tv series, playing video games, laying around chatting, playing with the cats, cooking a roast dinner and preparing laundry etc. for the next week.

It’s balanced and low-cost. We love coming home on a Friday night with the weekend feeling!

Weekends are for relaxing, I don't understand all these regimented activities..