Weekend Activities - Your Thoughts?

[Dobby123456]

My dd (8) doesn't want to do her gymnastics class on a Saturday any more. Her view is, she's happy to do activities after school, but weekend is her time to have a break, play with her friends etc. If she really did play with her friends, I wouldn't mind, as they tend to play on the trampoline/ do arts and craft projects/ imaginative play. However, I can't rely on her friends always being at home. If her friends aren't in, she'll just watch TV/ play her i-pad. This is why I'm reluctant to let her drop her gymnastics class - it's not like I'm expecting her to get to olympic level, or anything, after all.

A lot of parents I speak to have this rule - kids have to do an organised activity on the weekend - it can be sport, drama, whatever they choose, but weekend can't be free time because 'free-time' almost always turns into i-pad time. Some parents seem to plan multiple activities. When my kids went swimming on Saturday, other children were changing into their dance/martial arts uniforms to go off and do another activity. That's a bit overboard for me. Where do people get the energy (and money!) to spend their weekends driving their kids to all these activities?

What are people's thoughts? AIBU to expect my kids to have at least one organised activity at the weekend, or should weekend be free time for kids?

We're another family who like to keep weekends free for family days out. DDs do after school activity Mon-Fri (3 are on school site so no ferrying around and not too late). Weekends are spent as a family doing all sorts of things - museums, NT, galleries, theatre, parks, seaside, theme parks. We spend most of the day out of the house, so when we get home I don't mind the screen time while we're getting dinner sorted etc.

I'm lucky as I don't work so I can get most chores and errands done during the week, so that leaves our weekends free to do all that. If that wasn't possible, I think I'd also insist on some structured activity at the weekends too. For us it's not about projecting a family image or trying to fill my DD's time, but to open opportunities and help them learn fun skills and build a social network outside of school. Have to admit it's influenced by the fact that I was never able to do activities as a child (parents too busy & poor) so there are lots of things I can't do well because I never had the chance to learn.

I asked other parents at the gymnastics class. They said they told their kids that if they quit gymnastics they had to do trampolining or ballet or something else instead. If they gave them the 'just stay home' option they would choose that.

I asked other parents at the gymnastics class. They said they told their kids that if they quit gymnastics they had to do trampolining or ballet or something else instead. If they gave them the 'just stay home' option they would choose that.

I think you (and they) need to think why it's important to do an activity as opposed to staying at home.

If you think they should be active - that's a good reason, but it doesn't require them to do an organised activity - they can go and kick a ball around the park or play in a playground.

If you want them to do an activity because you don't want them to play on electronics - then just don't let them play on electronics.

If you want them to do gymnastics because you think they need to stick at an activity and do it to a high level - why is this?

If you want them to do something not with other children from school - maybe a less structured activity might work better.

If home is per se designated "bad" - why is this?

Really interesting that during lockdown so many parents were saying how great it was that their children's activities were cancelled and they could spend more time together and have life at a more relaxed pace. This all now seems to be forgotten.

Our DD7 has swimming lesson on a Saturday morning but that's it. We prefer to do things together as a family at the weekends, that might be going out exploring, walks, visiting friends or sometimes chilling out. Our DD7 sometimes loves the option of a relaxing day at the weekend, she normally draws lots, reads her book, plays with her toys but also gets some screen time, watching film or her fave tv shows. As with everything its all about balance.

It depends what else you do at the weekend.

DD had weekend activities because we work and timing of clubs under the week were not good when she was younger. But since she got older and does clubs at 6pm I am glad we have the weekend back.

She has homework, we can go out for the day, play board games, bake or just hang out.

I don't mind ipad/TV as she doesn't do a lot under the week.

I don't understand this obsession with children filling their weekends and evenings with various activities,

If they enjoy it and actively want to participate, that's one thing, but what's the benefit in sending them to do x, y and z every week when it's clearly not what they want to do?

If you don't want her to spend her weekend on her iPad then take the iPad away and go and do something that she does enjoy - don't fill her time with activities she dislikes just so she can't sit on a screen.

That sounds really judgmental. For kids in childcare after school, it might be the only time available.

I'd rather keep weekends free, and spend it out and about doing things as a family or inviting friends over. However, my DC want to do activities that are only available on a Saturday, so instead I spend it driving them to where they need to be.

I think it depends on the child too. My DC1 likes to be busy, and has activities most weekdays too. DC2 likes being free to do what he wants, so only does a couple of casual things.

The activities and ipad time are two totally separate issues.

At 8 I would just get rid of the ipad for a month or six weeks so it's not an option to play with.

If she doesn't want to go I wouldn't force her. Why not plan an activity you can both do? As simple as a walk in the park, identifying all the new plants shooting up or whatever.
You don't have to do what others do - my son lived rugby so it was every Saturday with his school team and early Sundays with the local team. He had no problem getting up and out at 8am on a rainy Sunday. My daughter will do piano lesson but is not interested in anything else or seeing friends (teen now). She's totally happy with that though. I would take them swimming with friends most Saturdays but not since they got past double digits.

I don’t understand why it has to be an organised activity or IPad? Do something as a family instead! And introduce restricted screen time.

free-time almost always turns into i-pad time

You say that as if it’s inevitable and beyond anyone’s control instead of it being something that’s entirely within the control of you, the adult, the parent. Enforce restrictions on screen-time if that’s what you want to do.

free-time almost always turns into i-pad time

You say that as if it’s inevitable and beyond anyone’s control instead of it being something that’s entirely within the control of you, the adult, the parent. Enforce restrictions on screen-time if that’s what you want to do.

Apologies for double-post!

I didn't mean to sound judgemental. I guess it's my own insecurities coming through. I'm looking at what other families are doing and worrying that my kids are going to be at a disadvantage later on. When maybe it's just what works for those families.

Perhaps I'm lucky because my school has after school activities like choir and nature studies that I'm happy with. They don't stretch to trampolining, though, and the gymnastics class seems to have petered out.

Difficult as lockdown was, we were quite good back then at getting out. We'd wrap up and go to the playground in all weathers, bringing a flask and some snacks for the kids. Problem is, as the kids have got older, going to the playground isn't their thing. Even the toddler (now primary school) started refusing to get out of the pram when he arrived at the playground saying he was too cold. They complain if we take them for a nature walk. That's when I started looking for weekend activities.

Our child did swimming for a while on a Saturday (some terms week nights) he wanted to stop so we let him

I would have hated to be made to continue something I didn't want to do so wouldn't make him do it means would go away and do other things on weekends also

Problem is, as the kids have got older, going to the playground isn't their thing. Even the toddler (now primary school) started refusing to get out of the pram when he arrived at the playground saying he was too cold. They complain if we take them for a nature walk. That's when I started looking for weekend activities.

So if it's ok for your DC to decide they don't like going to the playground, why is it not ok for them to decide they don't want to go to gymnastics?

Again, this is a parenting decision. If your toddler is cold then give them more clothes. If they are bored with your local playground, then try a different one or ask (older children) where they would like to go). Getting outside at least once a day was non negotiable when my DC were younger. Others will disagree and prefer organised activities.

I can hardly make them play in the playground, can I? But kids do tend to join in a class like gymnastics when they get there. It's not that she doesn't like gymnastics. She just doesn't like doing it on a Saturday.

I've got a feeling this is going to turn into yet another arguing about parenting thread, which I didn't mean it to be. It makes no sense to say 'You shouldn't make them go to gymnastics if they don't want to, But you should make them do X activity at home that you've organsied yourself or you're a bad parent'.

Many children don't want to do activities at weekends because they want to be with their parents.

What people are suggesting is that you do activities as a family, rather than activity classes for thr children.

So all go swimming. All play badminton. All go trampolining or whatever

Could maybe do the swimming or badminton. Since baby number 2, the trampolining has been off the table.😂

The what doesn't matter.

The point is to do stuff together.

We have one DC so I understand how screens can dominate. Ours does a sporty club on Sunday mornings, but we probably miss it at least once a month for family stuff or other more important social events and it isn't a passion or serious hobby in any way. We do it just to get out and so DC can see their friends who go to it, which sometimes turns into a play in the park afterwards. It doesn't dominate the weekend and other than that we are all for relaxing and unstructured time. I would hate to cram the weekend with things like swimming or serious hobbies that can't be missed. I think young kids need to relax, school and homework is a lot already, plus we work full time so need the break too. Our DC has quite a bit of screen time on Saturday mornings while we drink coffee and ease into the day. Then we make sure we get out for a walk, activity, cafe stop, park, scooter, see family or friends, before heading home for a lazy afternoon and evening.

In your situation I would say carry on with it until the next renewal point, as it's paid for already. Then alongside this limit the screen time so she understands it won't be the default activity in place of the club. If she really doesn't want to do it, spend the money on getting out and trying new things- climbing wall for example