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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I need to go straight for IVF?

74 replies

onlygetitinmynightdress · 26/02/2023 21:34

Long story short..
I have one blocked fallopian tube and one healthy clear one.

Since I had pelvic surgery where I was diagnosed with one tubal blockage I have been told natural conception is highly likely - but I'm struggling to believe this. (Prior to this surgery I wouldn't have got pregnant anyway due to the location of my ovaries - this has now been sorted - had been trying over a year).

I'm on cycle 4 since the surgery (which I know sounds like early days) but I'm really dubious that this won't happen naturally.

Am I being unreasonable - I'm so scared I won't get pregnant naturally. My doctor has also wrote in my notes that I'm not to be referred for nhs ivf until at least a year of trying after my surgery!

Should I go straight for (private) IVF or is natural conception definitely a strong possibility? 😣

OP posts:
endlesscraziness · 28/02/2023 08:41

My friend has one ovary and naturally conceived identical triplets after 6 months of trying. I have 2 ovaries and took 18 months to conceive 1 🤷🏽‍♀️

PlaneMum19 · 28/02/2023 09:19

I only have 1 tube, conceived DS after 4 months his currently 17 months and I’m 30 weeks pregnant with number 2. My first Ds they said the egg came from my tubeless side. Who knew that was possible
Wishing you all the best ❤️

purpledalmation · 28/02/2023 09:39

I'd give it 18-24 months doing all the right things, and if no pregnancy, then go for ivf. IVF is expensive and emotionally draining so it's not the first choice,

KievsOutTheOven · 28/02/2023 09:50

I’ve got two damaged tubes - one severely damaged and one less so. Both due to ectopic pregnancies (I had methotrexate to save my tubes)

I had a successful pregnancy first month trying after each of my ectopic pregnancies.

My first ectopic was in my right tube and I conceived dd 4 months later from an egg released by my right ovary.

My second was in my left tube. At this point I was referred for assisted conception, had all the tests done and they said my right tube was in reasonable shape but my left tube was really damaged. They advised the best course of action was to do IUI, and if unsuccessful that way the nhs would remove both tubes and then I could privately find ivf.

I was given huge odds of another ectopic - 1 in 3 with each pregnancy - and 50% chance of a miscarriage with each pregnancy (this was unrelated to the ectopics - we also had loads of miscarriages)

I conceived ds naturally later that month. I did get my tubes tied once we got him though because those odds were horrific!

onlygetitinmynightdress · 28/02/2023 12:28

@KievsOutTheOven

Thank you so much for sharing your experience - I'm so sorry you've been through so much heartache. 💖💖💐

OP posts:
onlygetitinmynightdress · 28/02/2023 12:29

@purpledalmation

Thank you - I definitely don't want to go straight to ivf as it really does terrify me so I wouldn't be doing it lightly. I just don't want to waste another year if it's highly unlikely to happen naturally anyway.

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 28/02/2023 12:33

Try natural first. I lost a fallopian tube due to an ectopic pregnancy but had no trouble conceiving "firing on only one cylinder"
IVF is no walk in the park.

Catsstillrock · 28/02/2023 12:47

@onlygetitinmynightdress

what about IVF scares you? I’ve had it (a year of treatment, 3 rounds of egg collection, 8 embryos put back over 6 transfers).

it was fine. It’s time consuming. At various points you go for appointments for them to do stuff to run the cycle several times a week, each taking at least two hours. But most of that is waiting around - for the scan, and blood tests, to see the dr who assesses scan and blood test and sets or adjusts your drug regime, for pharmacy to issue the drugs.

but I found the physical side very ok. Not nothing, but fine.

it’s expensive and an emotional roller coaster. It’s a good prep for parenthood!

if I were you I’d clarify whether starting private impacts NHS access. I’d prioritise NHS access as IvF is so expensive.

but you can use your time now researching private clinics, going to their open days, asking questions.

doing all that takes time too, and then once you start they run investigations and tests which take a couple of months.

so it’s slow. And starting the research can make you feel you have a plan and options if a year of trying isn’t successful.

private clinics might also tell you what early tests they’d want so you can see what if that you can get out of the NHS meantime.

you’re young, so the chances of success either naturally or via the first few rounds of IVF are good.

i was 39 when we started treatment, and got sustainably pregnant on the last transfer one year later when I’d just turned 40. Several early miscarriages before that.

if you read the IVF stats for age, that’s close, I think slightly ahead of the 1/10 rounds successful stats for 40 year olds.

early 30s is more like 1/3 and that includes people who have stuff like egg quality issues which isn’t your reason for potentially needing treatment.

You have every reason to be optimistic you will make this happen one way or another.

last thing - private clinics will tell you to start now. But remember they are a business with a service to sell.

use this time to research, keep trying naturally (I’d say everyday sex not always the way - read up on the sperm meets egg plan which aims to get good quality sperm ready to fertilise at the right time) and get everything you can out of the NHS first.

HairyKitty · 28/02/2023 12:49

To conceive naturally would simply on average take twice as long as average for a person of your age

KievsOutTheOven · 28/02/2023 12:57

HairyKitty · 28/02/2023 12:49

To conceive naturally would simply on average take twice as long as average for a person of your age

No it doesn’t.

Itstime1 · 28/02/2023 13:20

I had one blocked tube diagnosed after hycosy exam. The exam was just routine as we were already starting IVF so needed the results. Didn’t remove as I needed IVF anyway and didn’t want to delay any further (Covid meant we were 1.5y delayed).

IVF was recommended due to my AMH levels BUT the blocked tube bumped me up the NHS list so they had more reason to say I needed it.

I was 26 when I was diagnosed and 28 when my LO was born, I never once fell pregnant naturally - not even a hint of it prior to the IVF. I’m sorry it’s not what you want to hear but I needed it with my blocked tube. As they couldn’t tell what the fluid that was there blocking the tube was doing when ovulating. It could have been the blockage was causing unfavourable conditions leading to us not conceiving.

I did get both tubes out whilst having my DD though as 1 needed to come out (blocked) and I wanted to be ‘sterilised’.

so yeah, sorry it’s probably not what you want to hear but I was you. I would want to know both sides of my thought process! Good luck xx

onlygetitinmynightdress · 28/02/2023 13:39

@Itstime1

Thank you so much for sharing with me.

I don't actually have fluid in my tube so I apparently don't need this removing (this is why my surgeon didn't remove it in the first place). It's all so confusing - I just don't know what is the best thing to do! Xx

OP posts:
Gillyyy · 28/02/2023 13:56

Hi, I had a hycosy to check if my tubes were blocked - one was ok and the other was either blocked or spasmed on the day, they couldn’t tell.

I luckily managed to conceive quite quickly. One thing that I think really helped was going for reflexology appointments for fertility. There’s an interesting study that shows women who were on the waiting list for ivf were offered reflexology while they waited, and it helped many couples conceive naturally. It could also help that it is very relaxing and stress relieving. I also stopped drinking, took fertility supplements, ate well and did gentle exercise every day. We also conceived on holiday so would have been quite relaxed.

fingers crossed for you.

HairyKitty · 28/02/2023 20:05

OP I do think if everything else is working well and scans show both ovaries are ovulating in a similar fashion and remaining tube is clear, there’s no reason (excepting any other currently unknown factors) why you wouldn’t get pregnant.

This could be in the first month of starting or it could be in 12 months since both are in the ordinary range.

There’s no medical reason I can think of why having a fully working single fallopian tube with working ovary would prevent pregnancy. What have your doctors said about this?

Before ivf, if all other tests are good maybe controlled ovarian stimulation (maybe with scans) might be an option for you? eg clomid or maybe moving up to the ivf injectables. Less scary for you that ivf and might make you feel more comfortable about it if in the future you decide that ivf is what you need.

Are you using ovulation prediction kits at present?

onlygetitinmynightdress · 28/02/2023 21:18

Thank you @Gillyyy

I don't know much about reflexology so will definitely do some research! X

OP posts:
onlygetitinmynightdress · 28/02/2023 21:21

@HairyKitty

Thank you so much - my surgeon was genuinely really happy with my results - I just felt so gutted to have one blocked tube.
He confirmed I do ovulate too.

I had thought about clomid before but I actually thought it was mainly for PCOS sufferers. I've purposely tried to read as little as possible online as I just persecute myself with it all and get obsessive. I'm trying to live in ignorance for at least 6 months to try and not put pressure on myself.

Yes I use ovulation kits - I ovulate around cycle day 17/18.

Thank you so much for your help, I really mean it xx

OP posts:
HairyKitty · 28/02/2023 21:38

@onlygetitinmynightdress you’re most welcome, clomid is a routine first option for suitable women, it’s not just for pcos

Annab1983 · 02/03/2023 02:39

OP as you asked my ectopic and secondary infertility was caused by severe endometriosis (affecting both tubes) and adenomyosis. Despite that I still got pregnant naturally with one tube and then via ivf as other tube became blocked by endo. Ivf was very difficult for me emotionally and physically (and took much longer than one month each time) but your situation sounds more positive than mine anyway so am wishing you luck and hoping you fall pregnant naturally soon! x

vestanesta · 02/03/2023 04:31

Tubal issues are a pain in the arse.

I got pregnant with one tube after an ectopic. It took 2 months to get pregnant first time then 10 months second (although we were a bit crap the first few months).

That was also an ectopic. Like you I was told there was no obvious reason for my crappy tubes and in fact when they were removing my first one they checked my second and it looked fine.

I was your age when all of this happened and my consultant told me that I would have better chances of getting pregnant via ivf with no tubes than trying to preserve imy shitty one as my chances of a third ectopic were really high.

When I went for ivf a different consultant said I was his favourite as I was 35 with (as he termed it) just a bit of a mechanical failure. He kept telling me ivf was initially developed to help tubal problems and the success rate if that was the only cause of infertility were higher than the stats average - we were a positive weighting.

I have twins btw. Second go of ivf when I was 34. It wasn't easy but that was more emotional. I say try for a year then look into ivf.

vestanesta · 02/03/2023 04:32

Under 35...

Appleblum · 02/03/2023 04:43

I have 2 friends who only have 1 tube left due to ectopic pregnancies. They both successfully conceived naturally again but it did take them longer, about a year or so. One ended up with twins!

Un7breakable · 02/03/2023 06:10

Becareful with private. In most NHS trusts they count private IVF into your allocation of cycles so say you get 3 NHS cycles but have already done two private, you'll only get 1 NHS.

There's nothing wrong with sex everyday during fertile window unless there is male factor issues, and whilst the NHS suggests every 2-3 days that assumes you're not tracking ovulation.

Hope it all works out x Every cycle seems so long when you're TTC.

Frosty1000 · 02/03/2023 07:15

Sorry to ask but do you know your partner's area is ok? May be worth having a test on a sample just to be reassured that natural conception has a good chance.

I've no idea about one tube etc as I was told outright I'd never have a natural conception so IVF was our only option. NHS was useless due to my age which is fair enough ( got to top of list about a couple of mths before I was 35 so it was a no)

Having done it, I'd say that if you can afford it, do it now or soon ish. Or at least meet with local clinics to get a feeling for them and their opinions. You need to feel comfortable with the people helping you.

Yes it's expensive and a bit of a toll on body although I don't know if I'm odd but I didn't find it that bad really but if it's your best chance then you can't dismiss it. Luckily I didn't have to do multiple rounds so costs didn't escalate and I didn't go again as miracles don't happen twice. My IVF boy is 7 now and probably the best decision I ever made.

Good luck x

MithrilCostsMore · 02/03/2023 07:25

I've only got one tube , got pregnant twice very quickly .

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