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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eating or decorating home?

65 replies

PaleBlu · 26/02/2023 15:11

I will try to make this as short at possible - basically my relationship with my now EX broke down and I had to find a new place. After a few months wait I now have a lovely 2 bedroom flat. A small problem - it is/was unfurnished.
I was luckily enough that my family helped with the big furniture pieces, sofa, bed, mattress etc. Now what’s left is rest of the house, you know bathroom mirror, coffee mugs, plates etc.
Also.. it’s hard and so embarrassing to admit but I don’t have much money or savings and the only way that I could it is to cut massively on my eating budget.
How realistically is to eat a toast after toast after toast so save money to have a lovely home? Would it be massively unreasonable for a while just stick to very very basic, almost no spending budget?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 26/02/2023 15:14

Surely there's a compromise? Make a few 'budget friendly' meals but pick bits up for your home from Freecycle, charity shops etc? You don't need everything to be 'brand new'.

Hesma · 26/02/2023 15:14

Use free cycle, fb gifting pages etc. I got a free brand new bed for my daughter from one of these. Toast after toast will get boring and isn’t healthy but I’m sure you’ll find people giving stuff away

Sunriseinwonderland · 26/02/2023 15:15

I got a second job and worked Saturdays for three months (I'm trying for 6 months) so I can renovate my house. I have enough now to do a proper job on the ground floor and get new carpets..
I'm unbelievably knackered but it's been worth it. I won't live on toast. Good luck.

Poisonrunningthroughmyveins · 26/02/2023 15:16

Charity shops?
Car boot sales?
Olio app, where people offer offer things they no longer need for free?

There are options for you to have essential items cheaply whilst still eating properly. You would make yourself ill just eating toast.

If you were happy to share your area there may even be posters who have stuff they no longer need who would be happy to give it to you.

Sprogonthetyne · 26/02/2023 15:18

If you mean not eating at all, that would be unreasonable. If you mean buying more value/own brand and batch cooking cost effective meals, then go for it. I'd also recommend following your local Facebook 'pass it on' page, you might get lucky.

Rainpigeon · 26/02/2023 15:36

Use gumtree, freecycle, charity shops, Facebook Market place. I also let friends and family know what I needed if they had something they didn't want, even if it wasn't great condition just to use until I could get something else. Eat or decorate is not a helpful attitude.

SouthCountryGirl · 26/02/2023 15:42

Ask in Facebook. I got a lot of stuff from my parents and grandma when I moved

silverclock222 · 26/02/2023 15:44

Don't be so stupid, of course eating is more important. What a bloody ridiculous post

Stressybetty · 26/02/2023 15:44

Agree Freecycle, charity shops, Facebook local selling groups. How urgent is the stuff you need? Do you have enough furniture and things to manage day to day? Is it just the extra bits to make it a home you need? If so maybe aim to save a little bit of cash each week or month and get things slowly. You're settled in a new home now, not moving anywhere so you have time.

Kerfuffler · 26/02/2023 15:45

silverclock222 · 26/02/2023 15:44

Don't be so stupid, of course eating is more important. What a bloody ridiculous post

Quite.
Look at at this way: would you prefer malnutrition and pretty things, or good health?

FayCarew · 26/02/2023 15:48

Go on Freecycle and Freegle and ask if anyone has what you need. be specific and use the word 'please'. My local one often has mugs and mirrors offered, and will often have things like paint and rugs, picture frames, lampshades etc. I've picked things up on the same street or a couple of streets away. If you have asked for something, have the decency to collect it.

Original poster
PaleBlu · 26/02/2023 15:58

Thanks for advice!

like I said I have the “big” things - sofa, dining table, bed, mattress so I’m ok with that. The rest of what’s left are just normal things you need for your house - bathroom mirror, cleaning supplies, etc. I guess I can’t still eat from paper plates for a while no problem.
Also, I will check the FB marketplace and other places, thank you for that!

And no, I didn’t mean to starve myself, god no, but be more mindful with my shopping to leave some extra money for things I need. For example, I always drink coffee with oat milk but also don’t mind just black. So those £2 I use for milk, buy something for house in Asda George, which I love actually, there’s so many lovely and cheap things! This was more on my mind. To stop buying things I can actually go without. I’m pretty sure I can survive 2 weeks without apples so instead pick up some hand towel.

OP posts:
MyAnacondaMight · 26/02/2023 16:12

How about getting a lodger for the second bedroom? You’ll need a bed first, which freecycle or Facebook marketplace might help with, but that must be your quickest route to some extra income?

Iwantmyoldnameback · 26/02/2023 16:16

This can't be real.

midgemadgemodge · 26/02/2023 16:22

It costs almost as much for a pack of paper plates as it does for a single plate from Sainsbury's so you don't need to eat off paper plates

midgemadgemodge · 26/02/2023 16:23

As long as you are sensible - switch out apples for cheaper frozen veg to make sure you get a healthy diet it's what most people have done at one time or another

Okunevo · 26/02/2023 16:29

Get things for free where you can, many people with too much money buy new because it's pretty then don't need the old. If you need to buy new then buy the essentials in the order you need them, a little each week. What you actually need is usually a lot less than what most people own.

Okunevo · 26/02/2023 16:33

I'd certainly be buying things you need over oatmilk, porridge oats are much cheaper.

bussteward · 26/02/2023 16:35

Try signing up to free giveaway sites like Olio, Freecycle, etc. A glance at my Olio app just now shows a set of bowls, a picture frame, a mirror and a lamp – all free.

Tiredalwaystired · 26/02/2023 16:36

Some of the supermarkets have really nice ranges of plates etc and you might even be able to buy them with points so you can do both

WonderingWanda · 26/02/2023 16:41

Our local area has a 'kindness and giving' Facebook group. People give away all sorts of useful stuff.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/02/2023 16:52

If it's just you then you 'Need' 1 plate, 1 set of cutlery, 1 bowl, 1 glass, 1 mug.....

Obviously some of that won't be possible to buy in singles but lots will. You can get nice individual crockery from wilko, Asda, ikea etc for around the £1 each price point, you could also look at charity shops for sets which wouldn't be much above that.

You do what everyone does when they're starting out and you buy bit by bit over time. Most of us don't move into a new place and have a big budget or huge collection of stuff to decorate with.

We've been in our house 13 years and it's only really in the last 5 years that we've had the funds available to start decorating and stocking it the way we want rather than sourcing free or cheap as possible stuff to meet the need.

Okunevo · 26/02/2023 17:11

If it's just you then you 'Need' 1 plate, 1 set of cutlery, 1 bowl, 1 glass, 1 mug.....

Exactly. Though a basic four setting pack may be cheaper, you'd have to compare.

Cocobutt · 26/02/2023 17:27

Have you ever lived alone before?

Yes you may have to budget to be able to afford the things that you want, which is what everyone has to do.

A bathroom mirror is not needed.

You need one plate, mug, cutlery set and 2x towels. Using paper plates is going to cost you more than 1 China one.
Cleaning products - washing up liquid and washing power are the most important ones.

Write a list of the things you need and spend wisely and then buy bits each week.

Write another list of the things you want like bathroom mirrors and buy these once the other list is all finished.

UsingChangeofName · 26/02/2023 17:58

I didn’t mean to starve myself, god no, but be more mindful with my shopping to leave some extra money for things I need. For example, I always drink coffee with oat milk but also don’t mind just black. So those £2 I use for milk, buy something for house in Asda George

That's very different from what you put in your OP.

Go to a charity shop or ask in your local FB giving page.
You only need one plate, mug etc to start you off.

This question does sound, at best naïve.