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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shit birthday

36 replies

ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 14:41

It’s my birthday today and I am sat on my bed crying.
I don’t usually sit around feeling sorry for myself, but today I’m feeling extra crappy.

I’ve not got a single card of off anyone, my mother is sat in my from room watching shit tv, not even getting up to help me in the house, dcs are being awful I’m having to cook my own bloody dinner and it’s really upset me.

I go all out for everyone’s birthdays and today, even though it is just a normal day I would just like to be made a fuss of.
I work damn hard and this just feels like a slap in the face.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 14:42

Sorry my AIBU was should I just fuck off out and leave them all to it and take myself off to the cinema and have dinner by myself?

OP posts:
Treetopviews · 26/02/2023 14:44

Happy birthday op. And I’m sorry you’ve had no care shown to you. Not even from your own mother.

just go out and do something for yourself

JMSA · 26/02/2023 14:44

Aww, OP, that is seriously shit. Happy Birthday from me anyway! And you absolutely should go out and please yourself. Enjoy! FlowersCakeWine

frazzledasarock · 26/02/2023 14:44

Go out call friends/a friend and have nice time out fo things you enjoy and don’t think about anyone else for today.

for the future I’d be treating others birthdays the way they treat yours. Depending on the age of your kids theirs too

Oysterbabe · 26/02/2023 14:45

How old are the kids?
100% go out and leave them. Tell them you've made plans to celebrate your birthday as no one else is bothered and leave. They don't need to know that the plans are time alone.

UdoU · 26/02/2023 14:46

Has your mum not even got you a card or present? Stop giving her anything for her birthday.

And tell her you’re going out today and she should look after the kids and cook.

Don’t have her round so much if she takes you for granted.

cassiatwenty · 26/02/2023 14:47

Happy birthday hun, I'm so sorry it hasn't been a great day. One day isn't an indicator of your worth.

Us MN Vipers all wish you well, and if nobody else, well we care about your birthday xxx

botheritsgone · 26/02/2023 14:48

If going out on your own is a possibility. Ie - the kids can be left unattended, your mum doesn't require care, then absolutely go out and do something nice.
Happy birthday OP FlowersCake

TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/02/2023 14:48

Happy birthday, and I'm sorry it's not been a great one so far Flowers.

What I will say is, as an adult your birthday is what you make it, especially if you are female and don't have a wife. If you want to eat out instead of cooking, or go for cocktails, or see a show you need to say so and say where and decide who is going, and get it booked. I totally agree that your family should send cards and give you a bunch of flowers and some wine, but whenever I hear a woman saying "I go all out for everyone else's birthdays" I think "They probably don't even appreciate it, so go all out for your own birthday instead".

CityCommuter · 26/02/2023 15:01

@ChocolatesAtDawn ((Hugs)) to you and Happy Birthday... I'm sure family and friends actually do care about you but it's the world we live in now and a sign of the times... people are so wrapped in technology/phones that they've become lazy and waste endless hours just scrolling when the reality is nothing productive is being done... 2 friends said to me recently that I was the only friend who sent them birthday cards and they felt like you, so it's obviously a common problem... it's considered too much effort to but a card, write it and then buy a stamp and post it as it's much easier to send free non personal birthday wishes on Facebook etc... did they do this with you? Anyhow, just don't take it to heart or fall out over it as it's really not worth it... enjoy your day in whatever way you choose Flowers

Original poster
ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 15:33

I’ve had all the usual Facebook messages and know that I am loved and cared for, but the people who a in my day to day life have just generally not bothered and it has upset me.

I’m not a fancy woman who expects diamonds, a pound shop candle and a 29p card will do me. It’s just the lack of effort that is hurting me. My dc are still young but old enough to know it’s my birthday and I would have had to take them out to buy me stuff, but it would be nice if the people around me could take them shop and got something.

But hey ho another year wiser so they say next year I’ll be taking myself away.

OP posts:
BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 26/02/2023 15:50

Oh screw that op, I’d be booking myself a mini break or weekend course on the credit card as a gift to myself, get myself flowers and perfume and a new dress and take myself out for a meal with a book. Fuck ‘em.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 26/02/2023 15:51

OH and happy birthday, we are all wishing you well on MN (I’m sure most of us have been there!)

Nellyfant · 26/02/2023 16:02

ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 14:41

It’s my birthday today and I am sat on my bed crying.
I don’t usually sit around feeling sorry for myself, but today I’m feeling extra crappy.

I’ve not got a single card of off anyone, my mother is sat in my from room watching shit tv, not even getting up to help me in the house, dcs are being awful I’m having to cook my own bloody dinner and it’s really upset me.

I go all out for everyone’s birthdays and today, even though it is just a normal day I would just like to be made a fuss of.
I work damn hard and this just feels like a slap in the face.

Happy birthday OP xx

How about asking your mum to look after the kids and go out and treat yourself, do you have any friends nearby who would be free? With them or alone, go to a nice restaurant, maybe get your nails and hair done, go to a movie, get yourself that thing you really want but don't really need!

Workinghardeveryday · 26/02/2023 16:06

Happy birthday 🎂.

tell your mum you are fed up. Tell her to watch the kids and go to the cinema x

8stone13 · 26/02/2023 16:08

Hi @ChocolatesAtDawn 👋🏻

I want to wish you a massively happy birthday 🥳

I had a post on here the year before last on my birthday when I was going through a terrible time & the closest people to me were rubbish, I felt very alone & the lovely comments I got from MNetters kept me going that day, so I just wanted to pay it forward 🙂

I hope the rest of your day goes ok, from someone who's been there, I'm thinking of you Flowers

BCBird · 26/02/2023 16:10

I would bugger off to.the cinema. Get yourself some treats before u go in and stuff em. Happy birthday. Nxt year see if u can fo something with friends,if not plan something nice.

murasaki · 26/02/2023 16:11

Happy birthday OP.

IcakethereforeIam · 26/02/2023 16:25

Many happy returns OP. Sunday as well! They could have taken you out!

Go to the flicks, eat cake and ice cream, enjoy the rest of the day!

Guis · 26/02/2023 16:27

Happy birthday.

How very awful. Don't know how old your children are or your mother. Assume she hasn't got dementia or anything and your children are of an age where they should know. If so I would turf mum out and send her back to her house. Explain you are upset. And tell the children they must remember next year. That you are upset. And that you expect a treat.

weRone · 26/02/2023 16:37

Happy birthday lovely Flowers sending you much love

SerenaB12 · 26/02/2023 16:44

Happy Birthday OP❤

W0tnow · 26/02/2023 16:50

It’s mine today too! Happy Birthday. Xx

cassiatwenty · 26/02/2023 16:59

Happy birthday @W0tnow CakeFlowers

W0tnow · 26/02/2023 17:01

Well thanks!

OP I hope you’ve left for the movies.