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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shit birthday

36 replies

ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 14:41

It’s my birthday today and I am sat on my bed crying.
I don’t usually sit around feeling sorry for myself, but today I’m feeling extra crappy.

I’ve not got a single card of off anyone, my mother is sat in my from room watching shit tv, not even getting up to help me in the house, dcs are being awful I’m having to cook my own bloody dinner and it’s really upset me.

I go all out for everyone’s birthdays and today, even though it is just a normal day I would just like to be made a fuss of.
I work damn hard and this just feels like a slap in the face.

OP posts:
AllyArty · 26/02/2023 17:14

It is the lack of thought on their behalf that is so unkind. Not only unkind, it’s selfish. From what u say they haven’t forgotten, they have just not bothered. Why has your mum not got u a card and a small cake from her and yr children? I don’t know what age u or yr family are and I’m presuming that it’s not a big birthday, 40 or 50 etc. but still they should have got together and done something. What did they do in previous years? Shame on them. If I were u I would go out- pictures, a walk, drive through McDonalds! And buy yourself a punch of daffodils for a pound!

Swimmingagainstthewide · 26/02/2023 17:18

Happy birthday 🎂
Order takeaway or go out

WoofWoofBeachLife · 26/02/2023 19:54

Happy Birthday OP and same to you @W0tnow 💓

ChocolatesAtDawn · 26/02/2023 23:57

@W0tnow Happy birthday, hope you had a wonderful day.

OP posts:
ChocolatesAtDawn · 27/02/2023 00:06

TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/02/2023 14:48

Happy birthday, and I'm sorry it's not been a great one so far Flowers.

What I will say is, as an adult your birthday is what you make it, especially if you are female and don't have a wife. If you want to eat out instead of cooking, or go for cocktails, or see a show you need to say so and say where and decide who is going, and get it booked. I totally agree that your family should send cards and give you a bunch of flowers and some wine, but whenever I hear a woman saying "I go all out for everyone else's birthdays" I think "They probably don't even appreciate it, so go all out for your own birthday instead".

This is a very harsh but true statement, a lot of women do end up with the shit end of the stick when it comes down to things like this.

I remember one Mother’s Day I took my ex-Mil and my Dm out for a nice lunch, got them both lovely presents and not one of them nor my ex even got me a card from my dc I was devastated as they were still quite small, intact I think in the 12 years I’ve been a mum I’ve only ever got two Mother’s Day cards, yet I still do for them.

Anyway I didn’t end up going out a friend called to wish me happy birthday and ended up popping round as I burst into tears on the phone to her, so she left work early and we had a few glasses of wine and a chat.

I have two days off this week before I start my new job, so am going to the cinema and have my hair done tomorrow and treat myself to a day in bed with Netflix on Tuesday.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes 😊

OP posts:
Swimmingagainstthewide · 27/02/2023 13:15

I sometimes book something to do or somewhere to go well in advance of my birthday. I sometimes invite people to join or meet up

So you could organise something for yourself next year

Why be disappointed, take control !

Happy birthday 🎂

Mariposista · 27/02/2023 13:34

How rubbish for you OP. Do you get on with your colleagues? Could you go for a nice coffee/cake break with them at work? Then yes, take yourself off somewhere tonight. Sorry your family are so unsupportive ☹️

UdoU · 27/02/2023 13:45

Don’t buy ex MIL a card anymore! Let her son sort it.

catfunk · 27/02/2023 14:11

Aww I'm sorry op, bit lame of your mum does she usually bother ?

Absolutely go and treat yourself. YABU deserve it!

ChocolatesAtDawn · 27/02/2023 15:24

UdoU · 27/02/2023 13:45

Don’t buy ex MIL a card anymore! Let her son sort it.

I get on with her very well, have always got her something from me and dc’s that’s not an issue.

OP posts:
ChocolatesAtDawn · 27/02/2023 15:25

catfunk · 27/02/2023 14:11

Aww I'm sorry op, bit lame of your mum does she usually bother ?

Absolutely go and treat yourself. YABU deserve it!

My mum has never really been good at all that stuff. So it isn’t a surprise.
It just wound me up she sat there and did fuck all not even a bit of washing up.

OP posts:
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