To feel uncomfortable with unfunny jokes

[Mynamewasonce]

By unfunny jokes I don’t mean ones that are not to my personal taste or even offensive but ‘jokes’ that just have no humour, just designed to make someone feel awkward.

Why do people do it?

Round at my friends last night, asked if I could nip to the loo. Friend was in the kitchen so aimed the question at the partner.

’No.’
Pause then. ‘Course you can, it’s upstairs on the left.’

So in that pause you’re meant to titter nervously. Why why why?

It's just being daft, that's all, and pretty much telling you there's no need to ask.

Sensitive much 🙄

Had you never been this friend's before (asking because of him telling you where the toilet is)? I think the husband was just being a bit deadpan and possibly slightly taking the piss at you asking if you could go to the toilet like a young child at school. You don't need to titter nervously though.

This. Not like they left you hanging

Asking if you can use the loo is a bit silly, so it invited a silly response. I'm sure there was no intention to cause embarrassment, just a chance to crack a daft joke. It's normal in social situations with people you don't know very well to find that their sense of humour doesn't quite tally with yours, but I don't think this makes them bad people.

Has you asked where the loo is, there'd have been no joke.

She’s recently moved: the toilet was upstairs, I personally wouldn’t just take it upon myself to go upstairs without asking.

I agree OP. Its annoying.

No, so you ask where the loo is. You both misfired a bit. He didn't want to give you permission to go to the toilet, maybe he felt awkward too.

I probably should have said where’s your toilet. I think I said something like ‘oh, am I OK just to nip to the loo?’ Just seems politer than going upstairs uninvited.

Thing with asking where the toilet is, is that with those sort of not funny jokes you get similar responses. So when we were in a pub once for food he said my share was double what it was and I did the ‘umm are you sure, I only had the …’
‘only joking.’
response.

Yep, it's annoying

It's just conversation....
like last night I asked my friend if he could pour me a glass of wine. He just replied 'yes'.
I rolled my eyes then said 'will you pour me a glass of wine'

Not need to be offended about it.

Ah that must be it, it’s me making everyone feel awkward lucky I have MN to show me the error of my ways.

It's up to you really what you feel comfortable/uncomfortable with.

There is no reasonable/unreasonable about it.

If you feel ‘uncomfortable’ over such an inoffensive joke then you’ve lived an incredibly sheltered life.

I love puns but my DH hates them, they actually make him cringe. He doesn't find them funny but I mostly find them hilarious (as do our adult DC).

Horse for courses 🤷

Well you brought it up 😆. If both of your examples relate to the same person then you obv just don't quite gel but it's not a big thing really, is it. As with pp you just roll your eyes and move on.

My Dad used to do this. Very irritating.

'Can you make me a cup of tea?'
'Well I can....'
(sigh) 'Will you make me a cup of tea please?'
'Of course I will'

Mildly humorous the first time - not so much on repeat.

Your friend sounds annoying. He's definitely not funny.

squashyhat it's not worth getting annoyed over though is it?
Isn't it just part of family/friend dynamics?

My friend makes the same jokes all the time and they've just become part of how we interact as a group. We pre-empt him now.... even the kids do it 😂

I guess it’s personal preference. But yeah you occasionally meet a man - more likely to be a man - who is at any social gathering constantly on the look out for the next punch line and constantly trying to be Mr Hilarious. It’s exhausting for everyone else.

He was just joking, showing you you don't need permission to go to the loo, so he thought it a bit funny you asked.

I think the important thing here is the intent: if someone is just messing about and trying to be funny then that's fine, even if the 'humour' misses the mark a bit; if they're trying to make you uncomfortable or look stupid then it's not OK.

To DH, 'Could you put the bin out?'
Reply 'Why, is it on fire?'
I should know by now, but one up from, 'I could, do you want me to?'

It's mild form of pedantry, which I find irritating. As you say, it's not funny nor is it particularly clever. In my experience it stops the flow of easy conversation and definitely puts me off spending time in the company of these people.

It’s pretty much a standard response to someone asking to use your toilet, just figure out a standard comeback and life will be much easier.

This I can understand thinking ‘haha funny, not’ but discomfort? So over the top.

Some of DH’s jokes are pure shit but 🤷🏼‍♀️