Balls in garden

[SparklingPinot]

Another balls in garden thread It’s a long-ish one, apologies.

DH & I have lived in our house, happily, for 10 x years. For the past 5 of those years we have had to deal with almost constant balls being kicked over into our garden from the house behind, and as their DC get older these are being kicked into our garden with increasing force (on an average summers day a min 10 x balls will come over which I’ll go out and throw back over…another 10 or so will come over, so on and so forth).

If we do not throw them over they will come into our garden and take them, which we have caught them doing and asked them not to, but suspect they still do on occasion.

It has got a bit ridiculous at times and we have suggested they consider a net to stop the issue but they have said they got a quote and it’s far too expensive.

DH has always been extremely chilled, says it’s kids playing & takes a lot to bother him. Until now…

Fast forward to now & we have a toddler, & we have just completed an extension, & are finalising our garden. Funnily enough, whilst the works were being done, no balls have been coming into our garden, but as the builders and heavy machinery in our back garden has left, so begins the balls once again.
We will shortly have a useable garden (which we haven’t had for some time due to works) and as the weather gets nicer I am genuinely concerned for the safety of my DC in the garden with the strength at which the balls are being kicked in once again (it’s not a huge garden - think standard semi, and we’ve extended so the gardens even smaller).

We’ve asked recently, in the context of what we were doing, for them to contribute towards the fence between our properties (not in a great state because of the balls) which they said no to.

I am now wondering where to go from here as new fence is shortly going in at our expense, but as the weather gets better the balls are only going to get worse. I’m mindful I don’t want to start any neighbour disputes but I’m wondering if anyone knows what our legal rights are (I know we always have to return the ball 🙄) & can advise really where to go from here…

I should add that on weekends balls are being kicked over (and against the fence) often until 21h/22h , meaning that I’m forced to have my toddler childs bedroom in our front, tiny, box room, rather than the much larger back bedroom (this wasn’t an issue as a baby but as DC has started to grow & get more stuff I could do with putting them in the larger bedroom but
am 100% certain that the shrieks and repeated bangs of balls being kicked against walls & fences would keep them awake).

AIBU to think that neighbour should do something to prevent the onslaught of balls & allow us to enjoy our garden with our new(ish) DC in relative peace and quiet?!

Gets my vote. Deny all knowledge or don't answer the door. Donate the balls to charity shops.

Do you have to replace the fencing with wooden fencing? Can you not use a metal fence or plastic which balls cannot bounce off? Grow some Rosa rugosa it's very spiky will absolutely deter anyone trying to climb over

First thing to do is speak to your neighbours. Anything else is unreasonable before you do this.
Then hang on to the balls until the kids ask for them.
Then, if that gets too much, ignore the door and only answer once a week or whatever suits you.
Ultimately you could just not give them back, or destroy them, but you absolutely will have a neighbour dispute on your hands then. They'll know it was you.

I'm a parent of a football mad kid. We relocated the goal so very few go over the fence, and he goes to the park a lot. He's very good at keeping balls in the garden, but when his friends are round some go over the fence occasionally. I give them a warning, if it happens again, no more football that day.
Our neighbours are very good about it. If they started popping the balls or denying they had them it would quickly turn the relationship sour. But then we try our best to minimise the issue.

I would just deny all knowledge. Come to the door and say 'I didn't see a ball.' Hide any balls or put in bin. Then shut the door firmly. High fence with anti-climb paint. It'll soon stop.

This.

My rude neighbour refused to control his kids.

I started puncturing every ball that came over, and they soon stopped.

We have kids next door who kick balls over and it’s infuriating. Like you, last year I caught one of them climbing our fence to retrieve it. Not once have they ever come round to politely ask for their balls back.

During the snow, two balls got kicked over and never retrieved. I gave them to my
nephew who plays a lot of football. We have 5 houses they “could” have come from or gone to. Sorry, I haven’t seen them.

This summer we are considering putting something up to make the fence harder to climb.

I would tell them one more ball and you are going to put a knife in it. I've always been happy to throw balls back but 10 or more a day is too much. If they are teenagers they can go to the park. I wouldn't pay anymore money to stop this happening.

One of these balls could knock your toddler out.

DH and I run a three strike policy with the kids balls that come into our garden.

If the same ball comes in more than 3 times it’s swiftly discarded, popped or thrown in the bin! Only took a few incidents for the kids on either side to learn to be more careful!

I have two football mad and tennis mad kids. My next door neighbour constantly has balls over her garden. My kids are aware that if a ball goes over, it’s gone til when she can be (rightly) bothered to throw it back. She also has a dog so they know it could get ravaged too. Luckily, I have very good relations with my neighbour and in the morning, the balls appear (when she lets dog out for its first wee).

As PP posters have said, sometimes you have to live and let live. My kids are the youngest on the road (at 11 and 8). My neighbour’s son is early 20s and when we moved in we had to listen to his drum and bass in the summer.

What will happen in a few years time when your kids will be screaming on a trampoline etc?

I have two football mad and tennis mad kids. My next door neighbour constantly has balls over her garden.

@MrsMurphyIWish You are their parent. You should not be allowing them to be so disruptive to other people.

Why have you brought your kids up to be inconsiderate and thoughtless?

When I was a teenager in the 70s, the boys opposite used to play football in the street. More often than not, the ball ended up in next door’s front garden and their garden was absolutely beautiful. The boys would knock the door and politely ask for the ball. My next door neighbour would ask them to wait at the top of her drive, come out with a huge nail and pop the ball before she gave it back. They stopped playing football in the street. I always thought this was extreme until I grew up, bought a house and had to endure a football match against my fence every day.
If I were you op, I would deflate each ball before throwing back because at some point, whether their parents teach them to be responsible or not, the teens in question have to learn that in the real world, there are consequences to certain actions and behaviours.

I wouldn't ever pop a kid's ball. I would give them back once a week.

Hi OP, this was on another thread about privacy issues, wonder if it could be of use to you also? More attractive than a net but would stop most of the issue, surely?

kingco.co.uk/planting-pleached-laurel/

With regards to trespassing in your garden, that's not on. I'd get a camera covering the back garden and then let the parents know you've done this and will be monitoring it as you can't accept trespassing on your property.

In your shoes I would put my kid in the bedroom of your choice and play white noise if needed to mufffle the garden sounds until they are fast asleep.

Best of luck.

That has made me laugh so much! Search my username and see what I advocate for.

Maybe you have bad relations with your next door neighbours but in my cul de sac we all look out for each. Yeah, my neighbour must hate us. That’s why she buys my kids presents at birthdays and Xmas and I shop for her weekly. Yeah, I’m a shit neighbour 😆

Quite.

My main objection to the ball situation is they are playing games that are simply inappropriate for the size of the garden. Go to the park or play something that requires less space. My dad used to be driven to distraction by balls hitting the conservatory roof.

We do mainly. My children play for teams so mainly out of the house but they are exercise obsessed so want to continue training at home. I also think people’s perceptions of gardens are skewed. My garden is huge and so is my neighbour’s. We actually have an adjoining gate but we won’t let the children use it.

I’m so glad I have my neighbours!

No, we don’t have bad relations at all.

You are selfish and are allowing your kids to be brought up to be selfish too. How ashamed of mine I would be if they were so thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Did you search my username? This is hilarious!

What a load of old miseryguts on this thread.

When we moved here 15 yrs ago we had loads of balls over from one side.
After a few years it shifted to another garden.
Now it’s my kids doing it.

Throw them back when it’s convenient to you. Nobody is going to get injured by a football high enough to clear a fence.

I can see 5 balls in our garden at the moment - only one was bought by us, and the rest donated by the families whose kids have grown out of it.

If you start ball-popping then you’re ruling your toddler out of kickabouts in the garden in a few years.

Or maybe you live in “naive area” because I live in a region of poverty and am active in the community for raising funds … but hey, a ball over the garden is a major problem 😆

A sane post!

My mother in law is nearly 80 and now lives on a small ex council estate (imagine the size of the gardens). She has balls over 4 different walls. She loves it as it reminds her of my husband and his brother doing the same - when they lived in a house with a huge garden.

She won’t throw them back in demand but will chuck them back when it’s convenient to her. Like my neighbour does.

Of course not. I know everything I need to from that one post: you allow your kids to selfishly play games that repeatedly disturb your neighbours.

That makes you and your kids selfish, thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I might be teaching your children 🤷‍♀️

And my children might be your children’s friends.

I thought this might be another "My DH likes to walk around the garden naked" thread.