To be annoyed with DSS being a brat

[Mavis93]

So back story I have a DS who is 10 with a January birthday so often has no ideas for presents so often wants money to put away and get things during the year. DSD has a June birthday so often has ideas for presents so while has money no where near as much as DS (they all get the same set budget). DSS also has broken one and lost a switch so wanted new ones of our his money during the years which has taken a good chunk of his money.
today DS decided he wanted to buy a PS5 with his own money- all fine that’s his money and he paid for it. DSS has stropped and moaned all day, ringing his mum who has now kicked off that we are being unfair on her child. We have explained to both we didn’t pay and he is welcome to save up but we won’t buy it- DSS has been a brat about it all day being nasty to my DSS and sat glaring at me while on the phone to his mum.
DH says to ignore but I feel his rude behaviour deserves consequences AIBU for thinking this or is DH right

I'm surprised a 10 year old can just phone up the other parent like that! I'm assuming he has a phone?

But not getting your own way then phoning up the other parent to moan is NOT acceptable. He sounds like a self entitled spoilt brat! The mother sounds equally ghastly.

My brother was a spender and wasted all his birthday and Christmas money. I have always been a saver as I preferred more expensive stuff and wanted a keyboard which was way too expensive for birthday/Christmas.

Your DSS should be punished for his unacceptable behaviour.

But not getting your own way then phoning up the other parent to moan is NOT acceptable. He sounds like a self entitled spoilt brat! The mother sounds equally ghastly.

I mean what does the mum expect to happen? She tells OP off and OP skips off to buy dss a PS5? She’s not OP’s boss!

They ARE being treated the same.
The household rules apply to all the DC.

Kids understand fair, an understanding of fairness is one of the first social skills they usually develop. Not sure why you are claiming otherwise, maybe you feel a need to stick the boot in because you disapprove of blended families.

you get involved with someone who allready has children, this is exactly the tyres of things you have to deal with
It's also exactly the type thing thing you have to deal with if all your children are from the same parents, so not sure what you're on about, apart - again - from a smug desire to wag the finger at blended families ...

What has DH said to DSS about his attitude?

I noticed that ds and dss shared a PS4 - kids are very simplistic and DSS is probably just focusing on the fact that ds now has a better games console than him.

Don't get drawn into his accusations. Just keep repeating that it is fair and you don't want to hear any more moaning.

If he keeps coming up to moan, tell him he need to stay in his bedroom until he feels calmer.

FFS….. child sees other child get something they want and throws a strop and sulks and glares a bit. That’s it. The step bit is irrelevant. The ‘consequence’ for this behaviour is surely just to ignore it. If it crosses the line into rudeness, then whatever consequence you would normally give.

As for the mum, that’s your husbands issue not yours so ignore that too

If your kids don’t understand fairness, you’re doing something very wrong.

Most kids understand fairness. Many kids really, really care about fairness.

They might need help to understand the situation beyond the superficial appearance. But 10 year olds can definitely appreciate the difference between they bought it using their savings and it was bought for them.

Hear hear Hrylligur

It's a basic, hardwired instinct for pack mammals.
E.g. dogs fully understand it, so to claim that human children cannot is ridiculous. I think the poster saying so was just having a self-righteous pop though, so can be safely ignored/mocked.

DSS and DS do not share a PS4 my 2 DS shared one that was a joint present 5 years ago and DSS has his own PS4

My point still stands - kids are simplistic and competitive.

I did give some advice on how to handle dss reaction without sending yourself mad, but feel free to ignore it.

I think you're absolutely right @Mavis93 , your DS paid for it out of his savings so that's the end it the matter. Since it's in a communal room I'd keep the controller somewhere safe so that your none of the DC can use it without your DS's agreement.