To go to wedding fayre with future son in law?

[MyOtherCarIsAPorsche]

I am supposed to be looking after three grandchildren tomorrow while daughter and her chap go to a wedding fayre.

But it's been a rashy week - daughter and one of her children have an all over rash. Both have high temperature. The gp said it is viral - seen lots in the community lately.

Daughter was worse last night - hallucinating. So she wants me to go with son in law to wedding fayre and pick up leaflets/brochures. She thinks that I'll know what she wants.

I want to tell son in law to 'just shop around' for what they want - is it worth going to these promotional things?

I feel a bit uncomfortable - can't exactly explain why. But there will be loved up couples there. And then me schlepping around with my future son in law. It doesn't feel right. I feel that it would be more embarrassing for him? I don't want to put him that position.

Would I be unreasonable to say no?

I don't think you going with him is weird, but if she's unwell could you suggest he stays home to look after the children and you go alone and get brochures, or take a friend with you?

Let son in law stay home ,you go pick up some leaflets if anybody asks say the BtB is sick. There is usually florists and whatnot there .

Fwiw last wedding fayre I was at there was hardly any men there.

Should I suggest that he goes with his mum?

I definitely wouldn't suggest this as your daughter might feel her views are sidelined in the decision making even if that is not the intention of her future MIL. Also it is only you who know he is your SIL not son, so to the outside world even if he went around with his mum it would still look like older woman, younger man. In these situations you need to think that anyone who matters (e.g. cake maker) you will say that your daughter can't make it so you have come instead. To anyone else (e.g. other couples) your relationship to him is completely irrelevant.

I would go, get literature, any possible providers ask them whether they are going to be at any other wedding fayres / do individual tasting/ samples. It might be a nice opportunity to spend time with future SIL and see the venue for yourself. It is nice that she trusts you.

YABU calling it a fayre. It's a fair, FFS.

Your daughter obviously trusts your judgement. You don't need to hang around with him the whole time. Send him off to do his own thing while you take photos of stuff, pick up business cards etc to share with your daughter later. It's only a couple of hours and it'll cheer her up.
PS A wedding fayre is my idea of a nightmare in any circumstances but I would honestly still go.

Seems that some people who organise they spell it fayre, some spell it fair.

I think it's a fun thing to do to be honest - how's his (and yours) sense of humour and your relationship generally?? - I'd like to think if I was you we could have a fun time pretending to be bride and groom and seeing peoples reactions and generally just making the day a bit of a laugh?

This was unnecessary. "Fayre" is also used, and often is for wedding fayres, it's the older version of same thing in English language. See Cambridge dictionary

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/fayre

They are usually advertised as Fayre just to piss people off 😃

He's a top bloke.

Was only last week he was calling me a massive tosser - he knows I use two pans when making pancakes.

Yes - we have a good laugh.

I was just wondering if he'd rather go with his own mum.

I agree with @MustBeMissingSomething

Definitely Go and support your son in law !! It's not unusual for a parent to go along - usually with bride but hey your son in law will thank you for going!

You just say "Mother or the Bride, do you mind if I take leaflets and photos for my daughter- she's sent me in her place with my love son I. Law to be, as she's unwell today and we think she'll like these" . They lay out their stuff so you can see it which may be easier than leaflets & you'll get a sense of how friendly and professional the supplier is

There's nothing awkward about going with your son in law as a mother or bride -honestly, I think you're over thinking it. It can't be helped

Don't forget to Ask them about how long it takes to organise (their bit) - when she'd need to make decision by ...

Your son in law will feel lost on his own, as it's good to have someone to bounce ideas off and it sounds like your DD B2B trusts you! 🥰

Ps. Wedding fayres are brilliant , ask your DD if there's anything she particularly wants info on. I found the most delicious wonderful local wedding cake maker at a wedding fayre (who did chocolate ganache and real white chocolate & curls as an alternative to fruit cake, marzipan and sugar icing, 3 tier, all for £340 -25 years ago now mind- that cake was so popular I didn't even get a piece of my own wedding cake as I wasn't hungry for cake until a bit later and it had all gone...!! All 3 tiers!!)

Pick up business cards & leaflets for websites and contacts, so your daughter can have fun looking on internet with her fiancé once she feels better

Whoops mistype
Not "with my love son I. Law to be.. "
I meant "... with my son in law to be..."

Yes - I checked the spelling. It is advertised as fayre. I'm well aware of differences/preferences. Than you so much.
FFS - (is that you're usual sign off?)

Mother of bride (not 'mother or bride')

Damn I wish MN would let us edit posta within first minute as it always autoincorrects something

How about you and his mum go together on behalf of your children? I really don't think he should be going around potentially spreading a nasty virus. He can stay home and look after his family.

Don't worry @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche

Several of us have corrected @Xol who erroneously tried to "correct" you,
(Ignore the pedants! )

Son in law to be isnt Ill

There's no reason he can't go unless he feels unwell in the morning of. Not everyone in a family comes down with al viruses!

I think we should

Well except his partner is ill @WhereIsMumHiding3. So the best thing to do would be for him to stay home and look after his 3 children while his wife recovers. Or, if she feels well enough, to go to the wedding fayre with her mum.

What she shouldn't be doing is looking after her children.

He isn't ill yet. That doesn't mean he isn't harbouring the bug. Have we forgotten about Covid already?

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche

I was just wondering if he'd rather go with his own mum.

No your DD has asked you to go. It'll be fun and a good chance for you and your top bloke Son in law to be , to have a chance to chat and be helpful to bride in finding out what she and he might like!

I'd have happily taken MIL2b along with me, if my Then DH2B hadn't been able to come - if he'd asked me to.

Your DD has asked you to go with him for a reason. Take it as the massive compliment it is

@BadNomad

He isn't ill at all, this isn't covid tracing times and it isn't covid.
He doesn't have to stay in and you're being a bit precious. If he feels unwell morning of that's different , but if he feels perfectly well there is no reason he has to isolate at home!! Some PP get very silly ...

If bride to be feels well enough to look after her own children, well they are a phone call away. OP didn't ask this question and really you don't need to unpick it

I've looked after my DCs plenty of times over the last 21 years as a lone parent when I've been ill. If B2B thinks she's too unwell to look after her own DCs, she'll tell her mum and fiancé on tomorrow morning

Honestly how do you people even tie your own shoelaces if you make such a drama of everything!

I'd go but tell the SIL to stay home with DD. I'd go collect the brochures, take photos, speak to suppliers, pick up all the gift bags and bloody enjoy myself! Haha