Would your DS want to wear a skirt?

[Gunsanddaiseys]

I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff about ‘protests’ going on in UK schools about inspections of the lengths of girls skirts. Often the dress code specifies that girls can only wear skirts and boys can only wear trousers. A lot of the suggestions have been that all pupils can only wear trousers as the new rule. However, there is absolutely no reason why a lad could not wear a skirt. So Aibu to ask, if it became allowed under the uniform policy, would your DS wear a skirt?
yabu- yes
yanbu- no

Yes but my DS is 3 and has not yet felt the pressure of social norms and happily wanders into nursery in an Elsa dress. Once he twigs they don't have pockets I'm sure he'll opt for trousers.

No. He's 15. He's worn a kilt to school before (we are Scottish, living in France), but that's not what you mean, is it? He might do it as a joke.

It's an absolutely fascinating discussion. The gender stereotypes are so, so strong and ingrained in this - why girls wear skirts and boys do not; why teenage girls want to be 'sexy' and boys aren't bothered - or if they do, it's expressed in a different way and not through what they wear; the messages that they are getting from society about how men and women 'should' dress and what clothes do or don't say about the person wearing them.

I remember being in awe of the girls that rolled their skirts up or wore skin tight lycra tubes to school in my day. They seemed very grown up compared to me, I was a right nerd, and had a mother who disapproved vehemently of anything she deemed 'common' which definitely included rolled up / mini skirts to school.

As I said, we live in France where there are pretty much no uniforms. DS's girl friends generally wear jeans, tops and hoodies. In summer I guess there are more crop tops and short summer dresses around. But very very few of the girls dress in a way that is overtly 'sexy'. They just wear their normal clothes. But it strikes me as a rather British thing - schoolgirls in uniform with incredibly short skirts, tight or stocking tops / knickers on show and big fat ties. It takes me aback every time we come back to Scotland for a visit.

There was a protest at DSs school at the start of the year, demanding the right to wear bra / crop tops to school. The debate here tends to take a different slant: 'modesty' in dress is strongly associated with religious beliefs, mostly Islamic and Jewish, and French state schools are utterly laïque (no religious attire allowed in schools, no religion at all in fact). So suggestions that girls should not wear bikini tops to school are quickly linked to religious pressure for women to dress 'modestly' and they are rejected strongly by many young women. There's also the 'right to be sexually harassed / anti-puritan' thing that came out during the # MeToo campaigns: France has an particular attitude to this that I haven't quite got my head around.

The schools take the line that students should dress 'appropriately' in 'casual / formal attire' but they try not to come to the point of measuring hem lengths.

I remember being in a cafe with DS when he was about 3 and MTV was on the tv. He watched it then said, very clearly, 'Mummy, why are those ladies dancing in their pants?'. And he was right, they were. Why do women 'dance in their pants' and men, generally, do not?

You are asking the wrong question - it doesn"t matter if my son wants to wear a skirt or not - it matters if a boy who does want to wear a skirt can't, or has to fight for it.

National uniform guidance encourages schools to have gender-neutral policies.

I would let my son wear a skirt and buy it for him if he wanted one. However, I don’t expect that to happen as skirts are significantly less comfortable. I very rarely wear them and my daughter doesn’t want to wear them either (she wears trousers to school).

Ds brought himself a schoolskirt a couple of years ago (yr 10 I think) in the summer because "it is too hot in trousers and they won't let us wear shorts". School didn't say anything to him.

So yes, he would & did.

He'd rather have been able to wear shorts though.

No they wouldn't however they'd probably both fight the school on being allowed to wear shorts.
If girls and boys can wear skirts, why can't they wear shorts? Wear shorts in PE so it literally makes no sense.

No.

He wouldn’t unless it was for protest, although he would wear a kilt for weddings etc.
he’s never been the kind of kid to wear dresses much etc even in play -
but TBH my DD also chooses trouser over skirts and her schools have always had gender free uniforms.

DS is 7 now and generally wouldn't but spent many a happy day wearing dresses and skirts when he was little. I've tried to teach my kids that clothes/colours/toys are for everyone, and that gender stereotypes are harmful outdated nonesense. So no, he wouldn't probably choose a skirt now, but uniform wise he is allowed to. Like a pp says, uniforms should be gender neurtal. Boys and girls should be allowed to wear all parts of the uniform, so skirts for all, trousers for all, if they want. Any school enforcing skirts only for girls (as in no trousers allowed) is outdated and needs to drop the sexist bullshit and realise its 2023.

Extract from national guidance. (It encourages inclusivity rather than specifically gender neutral) but most schools are moving towards making them neutral. Ours has. We still have skirts and trousers on there, but not separated into columns for girls and boys.

Both my DD and DS would choose shorts over either skirts or trousers in the summer. They are allowed in their schools as long as they are ‘smart’ school versions.

No.

I find skirts far more comfortable, rarely wear trousers, so I have to admit to not liking the suggestions of "make them all wear trousers".

My girls wore trousers through secondary by choice though.

Ds is 15yo. He (by choice) wears shorts to school. I don't think he'd wear a skirt, even if lots were, partially because he likes to keep everything in his pockets and the skirts have next to no pockets. I don't think he'd have a problem with wearing a skirt if he wanted to. He's normally the only one, or one of a very few, in the school wearing shorts in the depth of winter.

He might have worn them when younger. He did announce he was going to wear a summer dress at juniors, but that was to get out of wearing a tie. He didn't in the end although we did have his sisters" old dresses about.

No. My middle son finds it annoying though that in his 6th form boys have to wear a formal suit, shirt and tie whereas the girls can basically wear whatever they like. It's supposed to prepare them for work office life where this also seems to be the case. I can see this is ridiculously restrictive towards men and boys. If they want to wear robes, skirts, dresses and so on they should be able to do so really.

DD and DS would, and do, choose shorts/trousers every time.

Skirts and dresses are impractical things, hardly ever any proper pockets and a nightmare to run/play in.

DD hasn’t wanted to wear a dress since she decided to wear one for a soft play party. It wasn’t long, but kept getting caught/trapped/lifted up as she was trying to play.

Yes

Age 8 he wouldn't. Age 3-4 his favourite thing to wear was an Elsa dress.

Every child should be given the option of wearing either a skirt or trousers whether they are a boy or girl.

I just asked my son and he said if there was options he still would only wear trousers.

My 5 year old loves spinning in a dress. I'm not sure I have the courage to send him to school in one though, but he happily would.

This.

We need to move away from saying girls can't wear skirts and dresses, just because either 'it's distracting to boys/men' or 'it's more gender neutral.'

I rarely wear trousers. I'm short so it's always a pain to get the right length. I hate wearing them when it's wet as the bottoms get damp and it seeps up the leg. I find dresses and thick tights much warmer and I simply don't like the feel of trousers for myself. I rarely wear shorts either. Haven't done for many many years.

Girls shouldn't have to stop wearing dresses and skirts for it to be inclusive. Just have one uniform list and let boys and girls chose from the one list whether that's trousers, shorts, skirts, dresses, pinafores of play suits. I've included the latter as the last couple of years girls in my primary school are wearing items that have the same material as a school dress but a play suit version.

With shorts, dresses and skirts set a recommended length if need be but allow for some growth.

Tbh though the whole rolling up of skirts is never going to change, my mum, mil and their friends are in their 60s and into their 70s. They all were doing it then and girls are doing it now.

When I was at school it was long skirts that were the issue. We were told our skirts were too long in the late 80s/early 90s!

The boys at the secondary school near me talk about wearing skirts as a protest at not being allowed to wear shorts in the summer

When our school made its uniform gender neutral, it made no announcement - just quietly reorganised its uniform page to remove the boy/girl separation. Now it just says "trousers or skirt", "shirt or blouse" and leaves it up to the families to choose. It was changed in anticipation of a transgender child joining the school. But it didn't cause any comment among other parents because nobody really noticed.

Hahaha, i like his style!

My DS wouldn't wear a skirt but then he's not keen on shorts either. He hates his legs uncovered. He's only 3 though.

Mine wouldn't.