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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your DS want to wear a skirt?

85 replies

Gunsanddaiseys · 25/02/2023 07:59

I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff about ‘protests’ going on in UK schools about inspections of the lengths of girls skirts. Often the dress code specifies that girls can only wear skirts and boys can only wear trousers. A lot of the suggestions have been that all pupils can only wear trousers as the new rule. However, there is absolutely no reason why a lad could not wear a skirt. So Aibu to ask, if it became allowed under the uniform policy, would your DS wear a skirt?
yabu- yes
yanbu- no

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 25/02/2023 09:37

It's not really the point though because if skirts were the default uniform how would everyone feel if the boys (like the girls do) roll them up so there pants show would everyone feel comfortable having boys hanging out?

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 25/02/2023 09:38

brilll · 25/02/2023 08:31

You are asking the wrong question - it doesn"t matter if my son wants to wear a skirt or not - it matters if a boy who does want to wear a skirt can't, or has to fight for it.

National uniform guidance encourages schools to have gender-neutral policies.

Spot on.
We should also applaud the boys standing in solidarity with the girls.

SoShallINever · 25/02/2023 09:39

Isn't it daft. It's just a piece of fabric cut a different way.
But no my DS's would not wear skirts.

shinynewapple22 · 25/02/2023 10:02

No.

But boys and girls should definitely both be allowed to wear shorts in summer .

In general - while I am pro school uniform in order to bring equality between the children (ie no pressure to have the right brands) I think that secondary school uniform should be more like primary school with easy to launder polo shirts and sweatshirts rather than ties and blazers .

WhereAreMyAirpods · 25/02/2023 10:06

My 14 year old boy loves a bit of drama and is always at the centre of any goings on in school. If there was a protest to support the girls wearing shorts/trousers by all the boys wearing a skirt, he'd be front and centre for the attention and drama.

But for everyday wear, definitely not.

Girasoli · 25/02/2023 10:09

DS1 No - he has quite unadventurous clothing taste for a 6yr old tbh - he likes dark tracksuit bottoms or jeans and plain or superhero/marvel tops. I don't think he'd like to wear anything that made him stand out.

DS2 has just turned 3 and would probably love one - he likes putting on all my costume jewelry and declaring himself a pirate.

EatYourVegetables · 25/02/2023 10:11

IMHO no one should wear a skirt. Impractical, nasty, cold, sexualising things which don’t let little kids climb and let big kids freeze in the name of fashion.

Natural material trousers and shorts (depending on weather) all around.

Mountainpika · 25/02/2023 10:15

Why is the 'gender neutral' default always male? Actresses are now actors etc.. Trousers for all. Let kids wear what they like and are comfortable in.

Commah · 25/02/2023 10:20

We don’t even wear shorts, never mind skirts. It’s either too bloody cold, or it’s warm so you need to keep the sun off your legs.

PuttingDownRoots · 25/02/2023 10:28

DDs Secondary school has trousers and shorts as options for both girls and boys, but skirts only for girls. Similarly the girls hare a skort option for PE which boys don't. The rest of the uniform is the same.

I believe the make up policy is the same for both!

Gatehouse77 · 25/02/2023 10:32

What I find absolutely infuriating is that if you want a gender neutral uniform all you have to do is list the items and not attach them to girl/boy.

You don't have to take away any of the choices.

And isn't it interesting that gender neutral leans towards stereotypical male choices?

Why aren't the people who are fighting to allow men access to women's spaces getting involved and saying nobody should be 'policed' in their clothing choices? What are their thoughts about the removal of skirts from uniforms?

SilkenDisorder · 25/02/2023 10:39

I think the major difference with the short skirts now is that in my day (god how old) we’d have the proper length skirts provided by parents and would roll them to/from school.

The moment we got there, or if we spotted a parent/teacher, we’d roll them right back down and spend most of the school day with it down.

The girls walking to school by ours appear to already be wearing micro skirts, they couldn’t possibly pull them down. I don’t think it’s a sexism thing, if I could see a boys underwear/bottom of their arse cheeks id be equally a little horrified.

The school is going to have a battle on their hands because the parents have obviously bought/approved those skirts.

Mouse82 · 25/02/2023 12:25

To quote Kurt Cobain:

“I like to wear dresses because they’re comfortable,” Kurt Cobain told Melody Maker in December 1992. “There’s nothing more comfortable than that cozy flower pattern… It just feels comfortable, sexy and free wearing a dress. It’s fun.”

Doesn't bother me. Men wearing dresses is nothing new, Brian Molko from Placebo would wear them on stage due to them being comfortable.

SpinningFloppa · 25/02/2023 12:27

No my 8 and 10 year old wouldn’t wear skirts. Saying that my 11 year old daughter wouldn’t wear trousers.

KievsOutTheOven · 25/02/2023 12:28

Chocchops72 · 25/02/2023 08:28

No. He's 15. He's worn a kilt to school before (we are Scottish, living in France), but that's not what you mean, is it? He might do it as a joke.

It's an absolutely fascinating discussion. The gender stereotypes are so, so strong and ingrained in this - why girls wear skirts and boys do not; why teenage girls want to be 'sexy' and boys aren't bothered - or if they do, it's expressed in a different way and not through what they wear; the messages that they are getting from society about how men and women 'should' dress and what clothes do or don't say about the person wearing them.

I remember being in awe of the girls that rolled their skirts up or wore skin tight lycra tubes to school in my day. They seemed very grown up compared to me, I was a right nerd, and had a mother who disapproved vehemently of anything she deemed 'common' which definitely included rolled up / mini skirts to school.

As I said, we live in France where there are pretty much no uniforms. DS's girl friends generally wear jeans, tops and hoodies. In summer I guess there are more crop tops and short summer dresses around. But very very few of the girls dress in a way that is overtly 'sexy'. They just wear their normal clothes. But it strikes me as a rather British thing - schoolgirls in uniform with incredibly short skirts, tight or stocking tops / knickers on show and big fat ties. It takes me aback every time we come back to Scotland for a visit.

There was a protest at DSs school at the start of the year, demanding the right to wear bra / crop tops to school. The debate here tends to take a different slant: 'modesty' in dress is strongly associated with religious beliefs, mostly Islamic and Jewish, and French state schools are utterly laïque (no religious attire allowed in schools, no religion at all in fact). So suggestions that girls should not wear bikini tops to school are quickly linked to religious pressure for women to dress 'modestly' and they are rejected strongly by many young women. There's also the 'right to be sexually harassed / anti-puritan' thing that came out during the # MeToo campaigns: France has an particular attitude to this that I haven't quite got my head around.

The schools take the line that students should dress 'appropriately' in 'casual / formal attire' but they try not to come to the point of measuring hem lengths.

I think it’s because we have uniforms, so kids need to “customise” their uniforms in order to stand out from the crowd, hence shortening the skirts and so on. I’m sure if we did away with uniforms this wouldn’t be the case.

OoooohMatron · 25/02/2023 12:28

My DS 10 would be horrified at the thought.

KievsOutTheOven · 25/02/2023 12:30

Gatehouse77 · 25/02/2023 10:32

What I find absolutely infuriating is that if you want a gender neutral uniform all you have to do is list the items and not attach them to girl/boy.

You don't have to take away any of the choices.

And isn't it interesting that gender neutral leans towards stereotypical male choices?

Why aren't the people who are fighting to allow men access to women's spaces getting involved and saying nobody should be 'policed' in their clothing choices? What are their thoughts about the removal of skirts from uniforms?

But that’s what most schools do?

Eg:
-grey trousers, skirt, or shorts
-white shirt
-tie
-black jumper/cardigan
-blazer

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 25/02/2023 12:39

Neither my daughter nor my sons ever wear skirts - neither do I, neither does my husband (who perfectly well could I suppose, as he works 80% from home nobody would even notice). I really don't find them practical - although I know that for women with very curvey figures dresses and skirts usually fit better than trousers.

In all honesty a fairly extreme waist to hip ratio (waist very much smaller than hips/ thighs) is the only reason a skirt is a practical piece of clothing - that or needing to pee in the open, when a long, full skirt has it's advantage if your biology prevents you peeing standing up 🤣

Obviously men can wear skirts if they want - really it shouldn't matter as it's just clothing and shouldn't carry any particular meaning... but I can't see a particular advantage to a skirt for male anatomy.

No - my sons wouldn't wear one, but neither would my daughter.

Chocchops72 · 25/02/2023 13:14

Are clothes ever gender-(or sex-) neutral? Have they ever been? Pretty much every culture, including ours, has developed different styles of dress for each men and women.

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 25/02/2023 13:24

Mine wouldn’t have wanted to.

He’s 21 now but even when he was tiny he didn’t want to wear the princess dressed etc dressing up. They just weren’t on his radar, he had no interest.

We hung round with a bit of an alternative crowd as we home educated so I had it all the other way. There was horror from some that he only wanted to play with cars and diggers and the only dress up as was a policeman or bob the the builder.

I was made to feel like I was raising him wrong for letting him only like “boys” things when that was all he did like, no one forced anything on him. He played with the things that interested him - mainly cars. One of them bought him a doll for his third birthday - he said thank you and it sat in the toy box untouched for years, he preferred his car garage.

Sorry, went off on a tangent, but I’ve felt it so much over the years that you are in the wrong if you say your son has no interest in wearing skirts or whatever, like you’ve done it on purpose and raised some neanderthal.

Some boys would, some boys would be horrified at the thought of wearing a skirt. Both are okay.

Thelnebriati · 25/02/2023 13:41

I voted no because he would as a protest in support of girls, but not every day. He used to love the dress up box in nursery, but lost interest as he got older.

youshouldnthaveasked · 26/02/2023 11:45

If I had a son it would be his choice.

I do feel that lots of Mums of boys put them in dresses and long hair to make a point though.

RenegadeKeeblerElf · 26/02/2023 12:01

I agree that uniform policies should be gender neutral but I also think pupils should have the option for a skirt if wanted. My daughter wears a skirt, not because it is more fashionable or looks better, but because she is more comfortable in it. She has sensory issues and dislikes wearing any trousers apart from leggings. Removing the skirt option would be quite distressing for her (and I'm sure she isn't the only one!).

Daisybuttercup12345 · 26/02/2023 12:21

No. Although younger son used to be dressed up in them by his sisters when he was 2 or 3.

ChickenDhansak82 · 26/02/2023 12:27

Lots of the boys at my school wore a skirt to school in the really hot weather last summer as the uniform is trousers or skirt.

All uniform policies should be gender neutral. I would have HATED wearing a skirt to school and always wore trousers.

I'd have no issue if either of my boys decided to wear a skirt to school.