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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nose piercing on just turned 14yo

30 replies

ditherydotty · 25/02/2023 00:11

AIBU to think it's too young? My dd had her ears pierced at 10 after a year of begging me, so I'm not against piercings.

I was just shocked my friend let her dd get her nose done and think it's too young for facial piercing!

Surely school would mention it?

OP posts:
Tropicaliyes · 25/02/2023 00:50

I wont lie, i had my nose pierced in like year 7/8 so i was younger than 14. Thing is i didnt ask for “permission” from my mum before doing it because i mean why would i? It would obviously be a big no! It didnt help i had an older sister of 3/4 years who had also had her nose done and the worst part is that I didnt just do it once, i done it at least 4/5 times in a 1-2 year span period!

when i got to like 15/16 i had left school (in year 11) and i got my lip pierced, again i never asked because at that point i didnt feel the need to, it was coming out of my money and they kept considering us “adults” at 16 so 🤷🏽‍♀️..

Thing is like i have kept saying, my mum was never aware i was going to have any of these piercings done and no way would she have consented and been okay with it (which is why i never asked permission). I do know of parents when i was growing up that would endorse this kind of behaviour in my friends though and being one to tag along their mums would always ask if i wanted them to pay for a piercing for me too! (Of course i always said no!)

And a last note, my sister had a tattoo going down her spine when she was about 16 in her best friends living room, done by her friends dads friend who was apparently a tattooist! That wasn’t legal and no idea if it was hygienically done etc. but apparently because it was her friends dad approving it… it was all alright! Of course my mum was not impressed by this but then again she couldnt do anything as she had decided to leave home a few months prior.

Ihatethenewlook · 25/02/2023 00:56

Piercings are a non issue for me. My 14yo has multiple ear and belly piercings. She goes to a grammar school, but they’re surprisingly relaxed when it comes to piercings. You can get clear studs nowadays which are allowed in her school. She came home annoyed the other day as she went to school wearing a small ribbon in her hair in a colour she thought was allowed. Her form tutor told her off for the ribbon, but doesn’t say anything to another girl in her form that has 5 piercings in a single ear 🤷🏼‍♀️

davegrohll · 25/02/2023 01:01

Had mine done at 13, along with belly, helix etc... for me it was part of growing up and forming my identity. I still have them now. Got my lip done at 17. I never asked permission either but my mom didn't mind aslong as I looked after them, which I did

PicklesAndTequila · 25/02/2023 01:10

Dd had hers done at 14, and her snakebites, I wasn't happy at all but once they're done, they're done.
I took her to have her tongue done at 15.
At that point I knew she'd do it anyway.

ShittySanta · 25/02/2023 01:22

I was 14 when I had my double piercing in one nostril. So I think it's not too young.

PS: I'm 46 now, still wear my noserings every single day.

FourFour · 25/02/2023 03:37

Tropicaliyes · 25/02/2023 00:50

I wont lie, i had my nose pierced in like year 7/8 so i was younger than 14. Thing is i didnt ask for “permission” from my mum before doing it because i mean why would i? It would obviously be a big no! It didnt help i had an older sister of 3/4 years who had also had her nose done and the worst part is that I didnt just do it once, i done it at least 4/5 times in a 1-2 year span period!

when i got to like 15/16 i had left school (in year 11) and i got my lip pierced, again i never asked because at that point i didnt feel the need to, it was coming out of my money and they kept considering us “adults” at 16 so 🤷🏽‍♀️..

Thing is like i have kept saying, my mum was never aware i was going to have any of these piercings done and no way would she have consented and been okay with it (which is why i never asked permission). I do know of parents when i was growing up that would endorse this kind of behaviour in my friends though and being one to tag along their mums would always ask if i wanted them to pay for a piercing for me too! (Of course i always said no!)

And a last note, my sister had a tattoo going down her spine when she was about 16 in her best friends living room, done by her friends dads friend who was apparently a tattooist! That wasn’t legal and no idea if it was hygienically done etc. but apparently because it was her friends dad approving it… it was all alright! Of course my mum was not impressed by this but then again she couldnt do anything as she had decided to leave home a few months prior.

Your poor mum.

Tropicaliyes · 25/02/2023 03:49

@FourFour “your poor mum” well you never saw me write about her response once we had them done.. She couldn’t care less what i had done, was an absentee mother considering i lived in her house and couldnt wait for me to get out the house (kicked me out at 16) .. my only crime being that i became sick and was ruining “her” life having to care for me!

so really and truthfully having my nose pierced and then my lip pierced after 16… Is hardly the worst things i could have done as PPs have written… they had many piercings some without asking beforehand and that was their way of life… If my mother cared about any of these things she could have been more proactive as a mother and actually pretend to give a damn.

TitaniumAndTinyVictories · 25/02/2023 03:52

If DD wants a nose piercing at 14 that would be fine with me. She'd need to do it somewhere decent and be prepared to look after it properly, which I know she would. Doesn't feel like a big deal. I knew girls in highschool who did their own piercings, much better to have it done properly. At 14 ultimately if they're determined they'll find a way to do it anyway and it's really not a hill I'd be prepared to die on.

HarlanPepper · 25/02/2023 04:52

I'm surprised how old-fashioned I am about nose piercings, even though I've had two myself, and - on another note - am covered in tattoos, I would still want my 15 year old to wait another year. I think 16 should be minimum for facial piercings though I would be hard pressed to explain why in a coherent way. I also don't like fake/long nails on school-age children either.

PicklesAndTequila · 25/02/2023 05:10

HarlanPepper · 25/02/2023 04:52

I'm surprised how old-fashioned I am about nose piercings, even though I've had two myself, and - on another note - am covered in tattoos, I would still want my 15 year old to wait another year. I think 16 should be minimum for facial piercings though I would be hard pressed to explain why in a coherent way. I also don't like fake/long nails on school-age children either.

I think 16 is the minimum age, I had to be with Dd and sign for her to get her tongue done when she was 15, but she'd managed to get three facial piercings by then anyway.

NaomiS1 · 25/02/2023 07:02

Personally I don't like nose piercings on children, so when my 14 year old DD asked, I told that she she couldn't have one until she was 16 (or whatever age you can consent to your own piercings).... so she just went and pierced her septum herself! I was horrified!! I've begged her to take it out, but she just has a discreet bar that goes up inside her nose for school and home

GoodChat · 25/02/2023 07:18

I think 14 is a pretty standard age for things like nose piercings

Beezknees · 25/02/2023 07:20

I don't think it's too young. I had 3 ear piercings and a belly button piercing at 14. Didn't get my nose done until 17 though.

JMSA · 25/02/2023 07:21

I wouldn't allow it.

JMSA · 25/02/2023 07:23

I still have to nag my 13 year old to brush her teeth though Confused A piercing would no doubt result in infection city.

FindingMeno · 25/02/2023 07:26

I've always consented to piercings and gone with them to a reputable place to have them done.
I have piercings myself and I think its no big deal.
Tattoos underage ( and I have tattoos too) are a big big no. There are too many risks, they are too permanent, and a good tattooist will not break the law.

Alainlechat · 25/02/2023 07:28

No piercings other than earlobes until 16. My 17 year old now has belly, tongue and multiple other ear piercings.

I probably would have been ok with a small nose piercing but school does not allow them and my eldest wanted a septum piercing which I really don't like, and the local piercing place will not do without parental permission until 18 anyway.

MirabelMax · 25/02/2023 07:41

My only issue would be school. It's against school uniform policy until sixth form. I'd probably try and persuade her to wait until school holidays so she could swap it for a see through stud when they went back.

I just couldn't be doing with school ringing me to complain and daughter whinging about school making her take it out etc etc

Whycanineverever · 25/02/2023 07:43

I dont have an issue with piercings - they can be removed. My DD had her septum pierced at 14 as it can be flipped and hidden at school. Nose will be done when in 6th form as not against policy then.

Imnoonesfool · 25/02/2023 08:08

My daughter (14 next week) is asking for her belly button to be done. I’ve suggested her nose as an alternative.

Reading this is would seem lots of 14 year olds have their belly buttons done so now I’m wondering if I should look into it a bit more before I say no. But I also don’t have a problem with piercings.

I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to do lots of stuff when I was a teen so I did it anyway without my parents knowing, and I’m keen to avoid that with my teens. So I would rather they do something or go somewhere with my involvement (whether that be taking them to a reputable piercer or dropping them and picking them up from that place they are going to etc) than me sticking firm to something and then doing it anyway.

so to answer your actual Q, I don’t think you are being unreasonable to think it’s too young to do anything, you should always feel comfortable in what you are allowing your children to do. It only becomes unreasonable if you aren’t willing to look into things a bit more, which by asking the question here shows you are.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 25/02/2023 08:14

Surprised so many places pierce under 16s. My excellent local studio only does earlobes until 16. Parental consent isn't required but you need photo ID. DC1 has asked for a septum piercing for her 16th, but will have to wait for the end of the academic year due to school rules which I'm not inclined to break.

Corsica2023 · 25/02/2023 11:53

Wait til 16 before facial piercings in our house.

girlfriend44 · 25/02/2023 11:58

I wouldn't want my child getting nose piercings or tattoos .
Anyone with anything about them knows they do nothing to enhance your look.
A nice pair of earrings is all you need to look nice and well turned out, tidy and smart in the piercings dept.

Whycanineverever · 25/02/2023 12:29

girlfriend44 · 25/02/2023 11:58

I wouldn't want my child getting nose piercings or tattoos .
Anyone with anything about them knows they do nothing to enhance your look.
A nice pair of earrings is all you need to look nice and well turned out, tidy and smart in the piercings dept.

Maybe not all teens want to be 'well turned out and smart'!

Piercings are not permanent - the person I was at 15 - 20 is not the person I am 30 plus years later. The piercings and partially shaved head have gone to be replaced by a more 'boring' appearance.

Mumoffairy · 25/02/2023 12:34

Theres really not much you can do when the child is determined. I got my belly button pierced at 14 and my tongue at 16. At 16 i also got a tattoo! I brought a fake written consent form and they didnt rwally care at that studio. The studio shut down a couple years later 🙈
But if shes determined, then she will get it either way. If my child really wanted something like that then i would help her with the research etc. to get it done at a reputable place (unlike me).