How do I say thank you for this?

[FlameRamm]

Apologies for the very low-drama post. Because of my upbringing, I struggle to judge these things so apologies if this is obvious. I'm a bit of a people pleaser so I often struggle to know when to thank people or how to thank people - on one hand, I sometimes over-thank people because I'm a people pleaser. On the other hand, I sometimes under-thank people because I would have instinctively done the same as they have so don't realise how much of a favour it was.

Anyway, we moved into our new house about six months ago. There's a lovely couple across the street in their late 50s/early 60s who we've spoken to a few times outside our homes. Today, I had a delivery that I can't bring inside but DH will bring it in when he's home from work - it was building materials and a kerbside delivery. The weather said we weren't due to get rain so DH said it'd be fine on the driveway. It was delivered this morning and a couple of hours later DDog was barking during a Teams meeting and I saw my neighbour on my driveway, in the unexpected rain (bloody weather app lied) covering my delivery with a tarp and tying it down. I popped outside and thanked him at the time.

I obviously need to return his tarp and rope when DH brings the stuff in. Should I get him a beer or a card or something else? Is that overboard?

That’s really kind of him. Yes in this situation I would pop over with a small gift and thank him in person - beers or bottle of wine.

Just return the items and say thanks, no more, no less.

Not beer. Could be tee total

definitely a thank you card with an invitation to pop around for a cup of tea / glass of wine

and i would buy some chocs as even if can’t eat…. Can regift

They went out in the rain
they brought over their tarp and rope
they covered and secured

for people they have never met before

They’ve spoken a few times. I agree it was a lovely thing to do but personally I don’t think it warrants anything other than sincere thanks. I wouldn’t expect anything in return for doing a favour for a neighbour and he won’t have done it expecting anything. It’s a tarp over some building materials.

I've been teetotal for over a decade and have been given the odd bottle of wine in circumstances similar to OP.

I am always grateful and appreciate it. Mostly if you don't know I am teetotal it's unlikely you would ever have reason to so there is no reason to ruin a nice gesture.

How very kind of him. I’d return their tarp with a box of chocolates or biscuits and a thank you card OP.

I think that it would be overboard and make him feel uncomfortable. Don't take alcohol unless you know what/if he drinks. I think that you'd put him off helping again if you take something. Just return any favours that you can.

Really ???

Yes but you can’t assume there isn’t a drink problem

hence I avoid where I don’t know the person

Fair play, I never thought of that.

I am surrounded by lovely kind people - I was widowed 3 years ago and am now on my own. I have had back surgery and also have a heart rhythm problem. Neighbours put my bins out for me and take them back in, they gritted my front path during the snow, poured buckets of rainwater down my toilet when we all had no water and last weekend one sat with me as I waited for an ambulance ref my heart.

It gladdens the heart to know such kind people are around. Of course I always say thank you and I also give a small gift at Christmas with a card saying how much I appreciate their kindness.

Yes really. Would you expect a gift for putting a tarp over something? Or conversely would you judge your neighbours or think them mean if they folded up the tarp and returned it gratefully, thanking you for what you did? Because I wouldn’t.

I think if my neighbour went out, unsolicited, in the rain and covered something for me that I certainly didn't want to get wet I would be very grateful for their kindness and would return the tarp etc with a wee note and a small box of chocolates.

I would just pop round with their items. Say a massive thank you, and I would also say let me know when I can return the favour. And I'd be ready to return the favour at my earliest opportunity.
I personally wouldn't buy a card etc. But I would genuinely mean it about returning the favour.

That’s very nice of you @LadyEloise1 but you haven’t answered my question.

Their kindness would rate a thank you card and a bunch of flowers or a jar of homemade marmelade from me.

What a lovely neighbour! Beer or wine a bit too much. I'd get a nice packet of biscuits or if you have a local bakery perhaps a couple of individual cakes.
Nothing expensive needed as he was voluntarily doing you a small favour, it's just a nice gesture in return.

Just return it and say "Thanks again, that was so nice of you".

Please don't go OTT with a thank you card or anything else, it could well make him feel incredibly uncomfortable and put him off any other simple neighbourly gestures in the future.

Next time you go shopping, get a couple of bunches of daffodils and tie them together ( with a bit of ribbon if you have one.)

virtually no one doesn’t like daffodils easy to arrange and cheerful.

If I was your neighbour, a verbal thank you would be enough.

I'd definitely get a little something. Our neighbour once helped us with an overgrown hedge that he saw me struggling with! He came out and helped me for 15 minutes, which I was very grateful for. I got them a plant to say thank you - just a small £5 one as I knew they liked gardening. I think it's a nice thing to do.

Agree some biscuits or cake would be a nice thank you! Don't think you need a card but I'm sure it would be appreciated.

I think a card or gift is over the top personally a thank you is enough.

I agree with this. Biscuits or a cake and a thanks.