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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that my mum thinks that as a size 12 I am not considered 'slim'

39 replies

Blossomhill · 09/02/2008 19:14

I was having a conversation with my mum. It got onto my size. I have been going to the gym loads lately and was telling mum that I was upset as I couldn't get into these jeans I wanted. I said to mum that it upset me as I felt I was slim. She goes hmmm, you're not slim anymore. I was a size 8 a few years back.
Just upset me and I needed to rant! My mum is usually lovely but when it's anything to do with my weight etc she isn't really.

OP posts:
2shoes · 09/02/2008 19:17

i would have been pissed with her.
were you a size 8 before children?

Carmenere · 09/02/2008 19:17

BH-mums are able to push our buttons because they are the ones that installed them. Well done

Blu · 09/02/2008 19:17

Oh, for heavens sake! I've seen you, you are slim, a size 12 is definitley slim, just because you were skinny a few years ago doesn't mean you aren't slim now.

Take no notice!

Flamesparrow · 09/02/2008 19:18

Bloody mothers say completely the wrong things at times, and normally don't even realise they have said it! If you feel slim, then you ARE slim imo

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 19:18

A size 12? That's perfectly slim. Blu is right - there's a difference between skinny and slim.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 09/02/2008 19:19

2shoes ~ no i was a size 8 when i was going through all the stress with dd and her dx.
just got to me really

OP posts:
Belgianchocolates · 09/02/2008 19:20

Sounds like my mum (who is a size 22). On my due date with dd she said I looked fat AND she keeps going on about me starting to gain a bit of weight or starting to look a bit bigger. I'm a size 10-12, she's got to speak!

littlerach · 09/02/2008 19:21

I got this quite a lot in th epast, a sboth my mum and sister are much slimmer than me.

My mum has put on weight due to menopause and stopping smoking and doesn't ever say it now.

And I've never been larger than a 12, usually a 10.

She once alluded that it didn't matter what size I was as I was such a nice person, like so-and-so down the road (who is much laregr than me, prob a 18).

Flamesparrow · 09/02/2008 19:22

(Btw, I wanted to yell "Size 12 IS slim, then I imagined you announcing you are 4' 2'' )

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 19:24

This is really sad - a 12 is a lovely, healthy size (not to say other sizes aren't lovely, or healthy, obviously, but I'd suspect the BMI of your average size 12 is pretty damn good).

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 19:24

Flame, would size 12 not be slim even if you're short?

2shoes · 09/02/2008 19:25

BH a size 12 is a lovely size. don't let her get you down.

lou33 · 09/02/2008 19:27

a size 12 is slim

Shaniece · 09/02/2008 19:32

Ignore her. My mum is the same and she is a size 16-18 and I am a 10-12 .

MIL is even worse, she seems to think anyone bigger than a size 10 IS fat - she is very irritating. She is a 10 but smokes 40 fags a day, drinks coffee, eats very little to keep her weight down BUT has more bloody lines on her face than a railway track.

Christie · 09/02/2008 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarGirl · 09/02/2008 20:19

Flamesparrow at 4'2", I am 5' and when I was a size 12 I overweight because I weighed about 9 stone - height does have a lot to do with it!

Fightness is far more important than skinnyness and I wish a was slim and curvy rather than being skinny and straight like I am now.

BH tell your Mum she is clueless!

Alambil · 09/02/2008 20:29

Blossomhill I'm AIMING for a size 12 - you are fine!!

Flamesparrow · 09/02/2008 20:33

For the majority of people yes, height does come into it - if you are over 6 foot and a size 8, you tend to look too skinny, yet a much shorter person would look perfect. The same the other way round - a very very short person who is a size 12 would look much less slim than a taller one.

Does that make any sense? Tis all the waist/hip:height ratio thing.

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 20:34

Yes, of course. Feeling a bit dim today. Thanks!

CarGirl · 09/02/2008 20:35

LOL at fightness I meant FITness - I'm tired!

Flamesparrow · 09/02/2008 20:38

Was worried I was being desperately insulting for a minute

I always find confidence is the most important thing - I know 16/18 sized women who look sooo much better than smaller ones because they like how they look and have a whole sexy confident thing.

I love the idea of fightness though

CarGirl · 09/02/2008 20:55

I want curves but if I put weight on my tummy and thighs get bigger and my hips and boobs remain non-existant

TenaciousG · 09/02/2008 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarahjct · 09/02/2008 23:00

Blimey, if I was a size 12 (at any height!!!) I'd be running round the streets nekkid! My mum is the same, tell me some story about a woman at work who is gargantuan...about your size, she'll add. I know I'm a porker but mums are supposed to be on our side!

Desiderata · 09/02/2008 23:07

It isn't nice when your parents aren't supportive, but in your mother's day, a size 12 would have been much smaller than it is now.

I'm a size 8 (for skirts and trousers). I recently bought a pair of 1970s SNOB Culottes from a car boot, just for a bit of nostalgia. The label said Size 12 ... I couldn't get them past my thighs!

Women are generally much bigger now than in our mums' generation.

It isn't great of her to mention it, but I'm not totally surprised, either.