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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For MIL to have LO prescription milk

49 replies

Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:23

Hi everyone, I don't know if I'm being unreasonable...

LO has just been diagnosed with CMPA and is now on prescription milk after a long time of not feeding, weight loss, pain etc

MIL lives literally 2 minutes from my house. She has always since LO birth kept a supply of nappies, milk etc etc at the house so we don't have to bring it (I take stuff anyway just to get into the routine of never leaving her bag)
So now LO has been prescribed milk she now wants to decant some of it to keep at her house... I'm not comfortable with this as we only get a certain amount a month and I'd rather just keep control of quantities etc as I know it's not something I can pick up from Tesco.

Should I just let her have some? So far I just take the tin in the bag with me and we use that when we are there, same as when I go to my mums who lives an hour away. Just seems a bit ott to keep it there when she literally is over the road.

OP posts:
Moonlightsonatas · 24/02/2023 11:25

Just pack a few pots up of a portion (e.g. 5 scoops) and give her those. Then make sure you swap them before the end of the month if she hasn’t used them.

Intelligenthair · 24/02/2023 11:29

How old is your little one? I can see she’s wanting to be hospitable and a home from home which is sweet in a way… if she’s near weaning age maybe you could stall her and then keep some fruit/veg pouches there instead?

Original poster
Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:33

Intelligenthair · 24/02/2023 11:29

How old is your little one? I can see she’s wanting to be hospitable and a home from home which is sweet in a way… if she’s near weaning age maybe you could stall her and then keep some fruit/veg pouches there instead?

She's 15 weeks old. I'm sure the weaning stage is going to come around quick so that's a good idea! Although she does keep "joking" about feeding her dairy although she has an allergy.... which I love.... 🙄🤦

OP posts:
Sqqueeeeeeee · 24/02/2023 11:33

I think you’ll regret not having any at her place when you forget one occasion. I don’t really understand your reasoning for not allowing her to have any, either. She’ll eat just as much whether you bring it each time or drop it off once each month.

MDevane86 · 24/02/2023 11:34

She's just being hospitable but as a fellow mum who needed to get prescription milk for DS who had CMPA (now thankfully fully weaned!) I understand who bloody stressful it it is. Like you said, they only give out a few tins at a time and sometimes there are supply issues. My MIL stopped asking when she saw how stressed I got over it, she probably doesn't realise how stressful it can be.

MDevane86 · 24/02/2023 11:35

Also, I never left any prescription milk with my MIL in the end but she had everything else.

SpecialK2023 · 24/02/2023 11:36

Can you just take a few scoops?

She obviously wants to feel prepared and you want to feel the same - but the outcome for you both looks different. She’s coming at this from a good place so maybe just take the equivalent of one feed, use it and replace it when you’re there with the fresh stuff you’ll have in you bag anyway.

Original poster
Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:36

MDevane86 · 24/02/2023 11:34

She's just being hospitable but as a fellow mum who needed to get prescription milk for DS who had CMPA (now thankfully fully weaned!) I understand who bloody stressful it it is. Like you said, they only give out a few tins at a time and sometimes there are supply issues. My MIL stopped asking when she saw how stressed I got over it, she probably doesn't realise how stressful it can be.

Thank you MDevane86, it is SO stressful. The doctors are already talking about changing her to a different brand because of costing.. we are currently on aptamil pepti, which is another reason why I'm reluctant to part with any!!

OP posts:
StarsSand · 24/02/2023 11:37

It makes sense to leave a few feeds worth at her house, why not pre measure two or three feeds into containers and keep them there?

She sounds like she is trying to make things as easy as possible on you.

Original poster
Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:38

SpecialK2023 · 24/02/2023 11:36

Can you just take a few scoops?

She obviously wants to feel prepared and you want to feel the same - but the outcome for you both looks different. She’s coming at this from a good place so maybe just take the equivalent of one feed, use it and replace it when you’re there with the fresh stuff you’ll have in you bag anyway.

This makes sense, if I've got some anyway then I'm just using what I would do out of the bag but letting her have control by having it already at her house. Thank you

OP posts:
imsoannoyed · 24/02/2023 11:40

I mean I used to keep a small tin and my mums and at my MILs.

It was just easier than having to remember it whenever I left the house.

I also used to request the prescription at least two weeks before it was due to run out so I was never in a situation that I didn't have any.

Maybe things have changed now, but I used to get 6 800g tins (or 12 400g) which would last me ages.

Sofarsogood123 · 24/02/2023 11:40

You can buy most prescription milks from online pharmacies. Would you or her buy a tub to have at her house? I always had a few spare just in case I didn't get prescriptions in time etc. Would manage your concerns with supply. Just regularly sub it out if it's opened

Allinadayswork80 · 24/02/2023 11:41

I think it’s a nice offer and also a good idea to have a back up store at hers just incase you can’t get any at any point. Or if you ever need to drop LO off last minute or emergencies, she’s got it. Makes sense really but I totally understand your stress with getting hold of the stuff x

MDevane86 · 24/02/2023 11:42

Oh really? That's awful to change it if it works. My DS was on pepti 1 too.

I used religiously put in a repeat prescription every 2 weeks as it would up to 10 days before I could get any from the pharmacy. From memory, pepti 1 is normally the first milk they suggest before trying new ones. I would honestly push back if it's working x

Pinkypurplecloud · 24/02/2023 11:42

Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:33

She's 15 weeks old. I'm sure the weaning stage is going to come around quick so that's a good idea! Although she does keep "joking" about feeding her dairy although she has an allergy.... which I love.... 🙄🤦

Show quote history

Anybody who ever “joked” about giving my child the food item they’re allergic to would be told in no uncertain terms that if they ever undermined my trust in them again by “joking” about it they’d never feed my child or see them unsupervised. It’s not even remotely funny and it’s not a joking matter.

If she’s two minutes away and your child is always with you anyway then there is absolutely no reason for her to have the milk, anymore than you’d decant any other prescription medication for her to keep at her house.

Original poster
Austin0210 · 24/02/2023 11:45

Thanks everyone for the advice. Especially about ordering the milk every 2 weeks, I will 100% be doing that!!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 24/02/2023 11:53

It’s on Amazon and some online pharmacies, I’m sure but was oos on the first one I looked at. www.amazon.co.uk/Aptamil-Pepti-Milk-Powder/dp/B00YWAYUX2. Maybe just get her to buy a tin or buy one yourself?

Sugargliderwombat · 24/02/2023 11:58

Get one of the premeasured dispenser pots maybe ? Even just for you so you arent lugging the tin.

toomuchlaundry · 24/02/2023 11:59

I would be concerned about the ‘joke’ about feeding dairy to LO. My MIL struggled with believing DS had milk allergy, luckily he grew out of it, but before then I never let MIL feed him

BridieConvert · 24/02/2023 12:07

I never left any prescription milk with anyone else, not even the nursery. I used the little pots and stored them in the bottles to be used while there

FourFour · 24/02/2023 12:13

Which one is she on? You can almost all of them online. My 12 week old is also on one.

bellsbuss · 24/02/2023 12:15

One of mine was on prescription milk , I got the ready to use cartons as well as the tubs on my prescription. Is this an option then MIL can keep a couple of cartons at hers.

MikeLitoriss · 24/02/2023 12:28

My Ds is 6 months and has cmpa, and is on nutramigen milk (by prescription)
Does your mil realise you can't buy the milk yourself and how expensive the milk is per tin- hence why the doctors don't like to overprescribe (if anything you have to fight to get enough milk in my experience - definitely not in a position to have a spare tin knocking around)

We always have just enough, no spare tins and I agree with previous posters, it can take my gp a week to process the prescription and then another week for the pharmacy to get the delivery of milk in (obviously sometimes it's quicker but never less than a week!)

Also a pp said you may forget to have some with you and it would be handy- from my experience when you have a baby with an allergy who simply cannot have normal formula you never forget to take some out with you- it's second nature and normal everyday routine to carry suitable formula with you that your baby can tolarate.

Also if she jokes again about feeding little one milk please address it with her- how is her grandchild being in pain possibly funny to her? Does she realise that it physically hurts the baby if they have cow's milk of any sort. To me it sounds like by joking she is testing your boundaries on this issues. I wouldn't be surprised if one day she 'accidentally' gives your baby a chocolate button/biscuit and laugh it off. You need to educate her now and keep her in the loop. Even if it's in a friendly chatty way, explain baby's symptoms, 'wow I didn't realise that cow's milk is in everything' etc, checking food labels, that it's not just milk it's whey powder in food etc

Unknownwhere · 24/02/2023 12:29

You can buy a small tin of aptamil pepti for close to the price of regular formula why not just get one extra to have at MIL house ?

ScoobyBooby · 24/02/2023 12:43

We are on Neocate Syneo . I leave 1 tin in my mums for emergency use . We get 10 tins at a time and I always account for that 1 tin when I am looking to order more.

I would lay the law down now with her before weaning even begins . It’s no laughing matter when it comes to allergies and I would be furious .

We have an IGE allergy to milk and egg and also non Ige to wheat .