For MIL to have LO prescription milk

[Austin0210]

Hi everyone, I don't know if I'm being unreasonable...

LO has just been diagnosed with CMPA and is now on prescription milk after a long time of not feeding, weight loss, pain etc

MIL lives literally 2 minutes from my house. She has always since LO birth kept a supply of nappies, milk etc etc at the house so we don't have to bring it (I take stuff anyway just to get into the routine of never leaving her bag)
So now LO has been prescribed milk she now wants to decant some of it to keep at her house... I'm not comfortable with this as we only get a certain amount a month and I'd rather just keep control of quantities etc as I know it's not something I can pick up from Tesco.

Should I just let her have some? So far I just take the tin in the bag with me and we use that when we are there, same as when I go to my mums who lives an hour away. Just seems a bit ott to keep it there when she literally is over the road.

Personally I'd just get used ti taking it with you- its what we did for ds because there was a krescribed amount which didn't leave us much leeway.

And then I remember we left some nappies and wipes "in case" and they were never seen again because she's always getting rid of "clutter".

Is this the start of her wanting LO by herself? With her her 'joke' about feeding dairy I would be hesitant about that.

Spend £15 at an online pharmacy - sorted.

I really don't understand everyone saying to buy some to appease MIL? Why? It's a prescription item for a baby, therefore OP does not need to buy it. MiL is being ridiculous and I would not be happy with the "jokes" about milk either.

I'm assuming some of these posters think "well OP doesn't have to pay for any milk so surely she won't mind sticking her hand in her pocket for 1 tin". That's ridiculous thinking. I spend the money I would spend each week on milk on baby and toddler items for our local food bank. I don't pay for something which I obtain for my DD's medical need on prescription.

They constantly want LO without us there, very much pressuring me to leave her from a few weeks old.
I do leave her occasionally as when I go to work when she is 1 they have offered to have her for a day (she's 4 months) I know it's coming from a good place but it constantly feels like they are trying to take control or they don't trust me!

I'll suggest buying a tin online, it's the aptamil pepti 1. A pp said it's similar price to normal formula but the only ones I've found are £20+ for 400g, I'll let her know anyway!

Thanks for all of the comments, I think I am very protective of her allergy as it took a lot to get her a proper diagnosis (LO would scream when she saw the bottle and MIL thought it was behavioural rather than an allergy, even though DH could only tolerate one milk as a baby and struggles with cows milk even now 😆)

If she jokes about giving chocolate or ice-cream again I'll have a proper chat instead of laughing back and saying as long as it's dairy free!

I think some milk elsewhere is sensible. If there was a reason you couldn’t get back to your house eg police closed road due to some emergency or baby had to go to hers in a rush it would be helpful.

She's 15 weeks old. I'm sure the weaning stage is going to come around quick so that's a good idea! Although she does keep "joking" about feeding her dairy although she has an allergy.... which I love...

Right so if she's joking about giving her dairy, do not leave any formula there. You can't trust her to swap it for another formula.

Possibly sounds harsh out there is a plethora of previous threads on MN where the LO has an allergy and family members have fed them dairy when they are out of the Mum's sight.

Mine was barely enough to get by, I couldn't be leaving it anywhere. Maybe two bottles worth for emergencies.

Does she realise it's like gold dust?

No, she doesn't need to have any at her house. Just take it with you when you visit.

Having her own supply is ridiculous.

I used to have one of these powder dispenser in the nappy bag, maybe you could fill up two or three of the compartments enough for single bottle in each and have her keep this. Saves buying extra expensive formula

I genuinely don’t understand why she needs to have some at her house tbh. At 4 months they’re usually in a little routine of how often they feed, you’re going to be there anyway, just take however much you’ll need while you’re there, plus 1 spare tub of measured out powder in your baby bag for emergency unexpected bottle needed.
You need to assert yourself, put your foot down re everything else too.

Dc4 had CMPA and like your dd, screamed and fussed over his bottles, wouldn’t let them near his mouth for the first 5/6 minutes of trying to feed. I was told by health professionals “oh some babies just like to make a meal out of feeding” 🤨 I knew this was not normal 🙄

I can't believe all the people telling you to leave milk at MIL's. She sounds controlling, there is no need for milk to be at hers.

I’m not sure but I guess she provides some care for OP’s DD, which is probably a bonus to OP. I know I’d have liked that with a four month old. So perhaps not fair to call her “controlling” maybe she doesn’t understand how
scare this milk is. If she’s otherwise a good GP I doubt she is coming from a bad place with this request.

I’m not sure but I guess she provides some care for OP’s DD, which is probably a bonus to OP. I know I’d have liked that with a four month old.

I don't think they do?

My fd has prescription formula (though not for cmpa). I could get the ready made boxes - like juice cartons- they weren't partocualry cheap but useful to have 1 in the car / change bag etc. Could raise be an answer - so she has it if its needed but it will keep the full 6 months if you don't use it?

I'd be wary over childcare with the attitude to allergies - something to strongly correct her about ASAP.

Ask for an extra one .just explain you want to keep one at your mums and should have no problem getting script for one

But she doesn’t NEED to have it at hers when the OP will take it with her anyway. It’s sounds like MIL quite likes to be in control.

Op you have had fab advice here re milk and mil.

The only thing I would add is you watch this carefully re a full one day a week childcare arrangement.

You sort your childcare based on what you are comfortable with.

OP says she takes milk with her, so care is not provided.

My kids all had CMPA, last two on neocate (which costs a fortune - about £40 a tin). The tins are tiny so I understand it’s stressful making it last because only a limited amount is prescribed. I had to buy regular top ups from the pharmacy so don’t panic, you can do this in an emergency!

But, I used to leave a tin at my parents house in case I forgot the milk or ran out. It was very much needed on several occasions. If you can’t spare a tin, decant several portions like a pp mentioned and rotate them. It never hurts to have a backup!

We are now on oat milk - the brand the dietician recommends is almost 2 pounds a carton and finishes in a day in my house. The milk costs never end….😭

I don't understand why your husband isn't putting his mother right on the jokes about feeding her dairy.

No. It will go to waste. It’s precious & expensive. Hold on to it yourself.

This. My granddaughter had CMPA, I know how hard it was for her to be diagnosed with, then getting the right formula, it had to be changed as one type didn’t suit her, one time her doctor wouldn’t sign the prescription, she didn’t think she had CMPA, my daughter had to get the consultant to intervene. Then add in supply issues. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hand over your baby’s precious medication…for this is what it is, medication.
She wouldn’t keep a supply of her own medication at your house, she would want to keep it with her at home and take some with her if she needed to take some when out.
There’s no need for your MIL to keep a supply at her house, you’ll take a supply with you for baby’s needs.

How long does the formula last once open? If you have to change the extra portion at MIL house every 4 weeks I can see this just being another thing to juggle. An unnecessary hassle.

Also, is it one of those which need to be made at a lower temperature so you don't sterilise when making? If so, you probably should be extra careful about hygiene storage.