Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect parents to have life insurance as a matter of course?

313 replies

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 10:59

Is it not the first thing you think about when you first hold your newborn? How can I best care for this little one? What do I need to do/sacrifice to ensure their welfare? in any circumstances?

I appreciate you can't be insured for every eventuality, and with the best will in the world, you can think you have taken out adequate insurance, and in the event it doesn't actually pay out for some reason or other.

But it's about £2 a week, in most cases - surely this is factored into the cost of providing for a child, when you do your calculations? I expect there are a few that can't afford it, but most can.

I am just amazed to hear of someone recently, really struggling, with no life insurance payout for the children, because there was no policy.

Am I living in a fool's paradise? Don't most parents have life insurance? Am I just showing my ignorance? Why wouldn't a parent have life insurance? Do you? if not, why not?

OP posts:
Sunsetintheeast · 23/02/2023 13:20

We do have life insurance but like most of these policies there’s plenty of loopholes for providers to worm their way out of

Total rubbish. Life insurance will always pay, EXCEPT if you lied on your applications. Other than that it's simple: you're dead or alive.

In all my years in the industry I have never had a claim declined, even when the person insured killed themselves.

Original poster
probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 13:22

FrangipaniBlue · 23/02/2023 13:08

That is just a rough guide if you are young and healthy and don't smoke, obviously other factors can raise the price.

A young healthy non-smoker is one of the least likely to need life insurance so why would they prioritise it over other expenditure?

but thats when you take it out! when you are young and healthy.

OP posts:
TedMullins · 23/02/2023 13:25

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 13:22

but thats when you take it out! when you are young and healthy.

Show quote history

I started self harming when I was 14. Many policies won't cover you if you have self-harm on your medical records. By the time I was old enough to take out life insurance, I was already ineligible. As PP have said you're showing ableist privilege thinking everyone can 'just' get it that easily.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 23/02/2023 13:25

AutumnScream · 23/02/2023 11:08

I dont think life insurance is the first thing people think about when holding their bloody newborn for the first time 😂

But it should be.

Overthebloodymoon · 23/02/2023 13:30

Agreed @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

It’s part and parcel of being a responsible parent. Why would you leave the future of your child to chance? Much more chance of a family member or friend stepping up if the worst were to happen if your child is set up financially too.

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 13:31

So op. Let's get this straight.

When I left their abusive dad I wasn't caring properly for my kids. Coz I didn't have life insurance then.

When I went to university to qualify myself in a subject that has me earning a good wage now - a very good wage - I wasn't doing the right thing by my kids or adequately caring for them. Because I didn't have life insurance.

When I was in law paid training jobs I wasn't working my way up with an end plan in sight to do the right thing for my kids so I could better provide for them. Because I didn't have life insurance?

I can't get fucking life insurance. I can't even get a bloody quote. But I am a shitty disabled parent

Ok. Got it.

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 13:32

*low paid

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 13:32

Overthebloodymoon · 23/02/2023 13:30

Agreed @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

It’s part and parcel of being a responsible parent. Why would you leave the future of your child to chance? Much more chance of a family member or friend stepping up if the worst were to happen if your child is set up financially too.

Because I'm disabled and I can't get cover.

Wobblytrees · 23/02/2023 13:33

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/02/2023 12:16

I think its like with most things in life, those people who need it most are in the least able position to have it.

Brilliantly summarised.

I'm another who can't get LI or CI because of various health conditions - ones that will almost certainly lead to me not making old bones, but I hope I can hang on until my DS is an adult.

Do you know how good it makes people feel to know that no insurer considers their life worth insuring, essentially because of the reason you are far more likely to need the insurance?

And then, on top of that, being told that you are irresponsible, stupid, reckless, not a loving, caring parent, add whatever other insults you like - it's not the nicest feeling to be had. Not just on threads like this, but the annual mailshots that turn on the emotional blackmail and stress the 'come on, it's time to be a GOOD parent now' message from companies that would instantly change their mind and turn me down point blank if I applied and they saw my medical record. They would then doubtless take me straight off their mailing list - not because of any compassion for me, but to save themselves a few quid in wasted printing and postage, of course.

Where does that leave us, then? What's the point in challenging attitudes like that? All that people can do is backtrack and say "Oh, I didn't mean YOU!" as if that makes it better. As PP said, disabled people are parents too; I shouldn't have to point it out, but we're also people too - and we love our kids just as much as able-bodied, fully healthy parents do.

Likewise with very poor people (even if able-bodied and healthy) who get the same criticism levelled at them. It's the same when it comes to pensions - how utterly stupid you must be if you want to put food on the table and shoes on your kids' feet now rather than store your pitiful funds away for a tomorrow that may never come.

By all means publicise it to those who may qualify and be interested/able to afford it; but enough already with the presumptuous, unthinking, uncaring, ableist, poor-bashing, sneery attitudes that come from a position of privilege - blaming and shaming people for 'making the choice' not to do something that they simply cannot possibly do.

Very good post

lapasion · 23/02/2023 13:33

I can’t get it. I had a suicide attempt pre-kids and also have a very mild condition that shouldn’t shorten my life. Every provider has turned me down.

Luckily I do have death in service benefits so that will cover the rent for a couple of years but it’s not great. It’s so depressing to think about.

Nanny0gg · 23/02/2023 13:34

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 10:59

Is it not the first thing you think about when you first hold your newborn? How can I best care for this little one? What do I need to do/sacrifice to ensure their welfare? in any circumstances?

I appreciate you can't be insured for every eventuality, and with the best will in the world, you can think you have taken out adequate insurance, and in the event it doesn't actually pay out for some reason or other.

But it's about £2 a week, in most cases - surely this is factored into the cost of providing for a child, when you do your calculations? I expect there are a few that can't afford it, but most can.

I am just amazed to hear of someone recently, really struggling, with no life insurance payout for the children, because there was no policy.

Am I living in a fool's paradise? Don't most parents have life insurance? Am I just showing my ignorance? Why wouldn't a parent have life insurance? Do you? if not, why not?

In my brother's case, because he's got a life-limiting illness and he couldn't get insurance. He might survive to a good age but there's no guarantee

So think before you post. His wife will be screwed if anything happens to him

Starlightstarbright1 · 23/02/2023 13:36

No. I looked at it. Was far more than I could afford and yes I work but Lp

Oneborneverydecade · 23/02/2023 13:36

@lummsnetave life insurance cover, DH has death in service. Ex DH had neither and so was only able to leave the sale value of his mobile home to our son. It's a shame bc he could have set him up for life with uni fees and house deposit. I don't suppose he thought about it before he became ill though.

thefamous5 · 23/02/2023 13:37

No the first things that crossed my mind when I held my baby were:

He's healthy
He's gorgeous
Fuck me that hurt

Can't say life insurance was in my thoughts at trust time.

I bloody wish it was only £2 a week.

SpecialK2023 · 23/02/2023 13:38

Lellochip · 23/02/2023 12:53

@StalkedByASpider What about income protection Vs critical illness? This is what I've got but never see it pushed as much as the others? It would cover my outgoings, but obviously no nice lump sum, but wonder if I've missed something important. (No dependants so life cover not worth it for me)

IMO it’s hugely expensive and not worth it. See my post.

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 13:40

Oneborneverydecade · 23/02/2023 13:36

@lummsnetave life insurance cover, DH has death in service. Ex DH had neither and so was only able to leave the sale value of his mobile home to our son. It's a shame bc he could have set him up for life with uni fees and house deposit. I don't suppose he thought about it before he became ill though.

I've tried to get cover. I can't afford it. It's over £500 a month or was 2 years ago when last I looked. Today I can't even get a quote on the comparison sites.

My kids will have a very healthy DIS if I die and the house to sell.

But that's not enough. I'm a shitty parent because I don't have life insurance.

This thread is so ableist. Many many people have disabilities that mean they can't get life insurance or it is prohibitively expensive for them. That does not mean they don't care or want the best for their children.

Unless you think disabled people shouldn't have children? But then. I had mine before I got disabled.

LivesOnPigeonStreet · 23/02/2023 13:44

My DH had cancer as a young person. Getting life insurance was difficult and expensive and miles away from £2 a week for a modest payout.

Can2022getanyworse · 23/02/2023 13:45

Life insurance hasn't been compulsory for most (if any?) mortgages for a good 25 years.

Statistically you're much more likely to be diagnosed with a critical illness or loose your job than die during the term of your mortgage so it's important to consider ALL eventualities when thinking about protecting not your mortgage, but yourself and your dependants, should the worst happen.

My neighbour was diagnosed with a (very good prognosis) cancer recently, critical illness cover paid out in weeks, meant he didn't have to worry about paying the bills during his treatment. If the worst comes to the worst, his wife will get a further payout from the life insurance policy so she won't have to worry about the bills amidst the fog of grief.

I used to work in finance so I am a huge advocate of proper and sufficient insurances. Even if it is more than £2 a week, it is worth £100s of pounds a week should the worst happen, and to me is an essential expense when one has a partner or family who would otherwise be struggling or ultimately homeless.

whirlyhead · 23/02/2023 13:46

My (healthy but that's beside the point) partner has life insurance and critical illness and it's about £250 a month so not a small sum. I quite understand why lots of people can't afford it.

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 23/02/2023 13:50

Is it fuck only £2 a week.

For a a 40 year old non smoker it was £40 a month which when you’re struggling financially is a lot.

mrsm43s · 23/02/2023 13:57

Don't have it, don't need it.

Have a mortgage free 5 bed house in the South East, multiple 6 figures in savings and investments, and both of us have death in service payment of 3x our (high) salaries plus spouses pension as part of our fully topped up (including AVCs) defined benefit pension schemes. Neither of us would be financially struggling if the other passed away, and if we both passed away our (late teen) children would have a hefty inheritance (several £mill) to see them through.

Please explain to me why I must have life insurance as a parent?

Original poster
probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 14:03

mrsm43s · 23/02/2023 13:57

Don't have it, don't need it.

Have a mortgage free 5 bed house in the South East, multiple 6 figures in savings and investments, and both of us have death in service payment of 3x our (high) salaries plus spouses pension as part of our fully topped up (including AVCs) defined benefit pension schemes. Neither of us would be financially struggling if the other passed away, and if we both passed away our (late teen) children would have a hefty inheritance (several £mill) to see them through.

Please explain to me why I must have life insurance as a parent?

well, you clearly dont!

There are plenty of people who dont have it for good reasons

Its the people who should and could have it but dont, they are the ones I am querying

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 23/02/2023 14:04

It was always important for us but we took it out when we were young and healthy. Still significantly more than £2 a month as our coverage is high. We also had a nurse come out to take bloods and check our weight, blood pressure etc. I think they were drugs testing as part of that as well. Not sure if we were just randomly selected or if something in our application flagged.

lummsnet · 23/02/2023 14:06

@probablyoverinsured at various points I should have had it but couldn't afford it and I'm a shitty lower class second rate disabled person who can't get it anyway.

How does it make you feel to make such judgements on me and my life?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/02/2023 14:08

probablyoverinsured · 23/02/2023 14:03

well, you clearly dont!

There are plenty of people who dont have it for good reasons

Its the people who should and could have it but dont, they are the ones I am querying

Show quote history

What's a good reason for you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread