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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My DD is upset about childcare

67 replies

Fifops · 22/02/2023 22:41

Hi,
AIBU This half term I’ve had a few days annual leave but back to work for two days. I have booked my DD (11) and DS (9) on to a multi sport kids club between 9am-3pm whilst I am at work. My DS is looking forward to it but my DD is so annoyed with me, saying she doesn’t want to go and she will hate it, full attitude and disbelief. I normally wing childcare with friends and family but have come up short this half term. It’s for her age group and she is very active. My only other option was to send them to a holiday club at a nursery! It’s two days and I believe she shouldn’t be left at home all day when she is in primary school. I think she will
have a good time…..help!

OP posts:

minipie · 23/02/2023 12:00

I’d be in the “tough you’re going” camp too.

Any chance one of her mates might be there?

“Suggest a friend she could visit for the day” “can she spend the whole day at a friend’s” how does that work? some other parent is going to be used for free childcare without being asked?

Viviennemary · 23/02/2023 12:04

If there is no alternative she will just have to put up with it. Explain this and perhaps buy her something nice.

RuthW · 23/02/2023 12:10

It's a difficult age. Next year she can be hone alone

Alicetheowl · 23/02/2023 12:51

Maybe you could treat it as a dry run? If she will be left alone once she gets to secondary school, two days now might be a test. Get her to come up with a plan of what she will do in certain scenarios .

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 23/02/2023 13:00

minipie · 23/02/2023 12:00

I’d be in the “tough you’re going” camp too.

Any chance one of her mates might be there?

“Suggest a friend she could visit for the day” “can she spend the whole day at a friend’s” how does that work? some other parent is going to be used for free childcare without being asked?

Well no - the idea is you swap.

So OP's DD goes to her friend one day, and when OP is off, she hosts the friend.

JudgeRudy · 23/02/2023 13:06

Fifops · 23/02/2023 07:14

@JudgeRudy we did discuss her going and she was fine about it. She is also too young to stay home on her own, even with a friend.

You know your daughter so it's for you decide if she's mature enough to be left for the day unsupervised.
I'm confused by your response though as your post title "My DD is upset about childcare" implies she's anything other than fine. If she's fine and your fine and there are no other factors to consider then it's not really worth discussing.

minipie · 23/02/2023 13:07

coffeecups, sure good solution if asked and arranged in advance, but it’s a bit last minute now and OP has finished her days off for half term so can’t really offer a swap…

I do think early secondary age childcare is tricky especially as you tend not to know their friends’ parents.

Cuwins · 23/02/2023 13:12

Could you have a chat with her about how your going to build up to leaving her home alone for the whole day? So she can see the route to get there and that this is just a short term thing she has to put up with now?
So a plan that over the next few weeks you will leave her alone for an hour or so while you go shopping etc, then at may half term she will be left for 1 morning leading to being alone for the whole day in the summer or Oct whatever your happy with.

Doone21 · 23/02/2023 15:53

Classic life lesson. Everyone has to do stuff they don't want. She can suck it up. I'd leave my 13 year old home alone all day but not at 11. Why are you even letting her argue with you about this? Anyone would think life revolves around her.

Gwen82 · 23/02/2023 15:56

Why didn’t you message one of her friends parents and see if you could coincide with her friends doing also?

Daisybee6 · 23/02/2023 16:16

I haven't read the whole thread so not sure if this has been mentioned, but has she started her periods yet?

Just wondering if she seemed keen about it before and has now suddenly gone off the idea there may be something bothering her?

girlfriend44 · 23/02/2023 16:33

What's wrong with going?

Sounds much better than sitting at home on your own probably just on the phone and or tablet.

Situaciones · 23/02/2023 16:45

What mum says goes. End of story.

Elieza · 23/02/2023 18:58

She was up for it.
Now she’s not.
So what’s changed?

Did her pals want to go initially but their mum said no?
Is her best mate staying home alone so she wants to too?
What’s the lowdown. As it could be that you can fix it?

IAmTheWalrus85 · 23/02/2023 20:18

JudgeRudy · 23/02/2023 13:06

Show quote history

I think OP may be saying that she discussed it with her daughter prior to booking and her daughter was fine about it but now isn’t.

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 11:49

At that age, I would never book a holiday camp without contacting her friends parents to see if they fancy coinciding

TeaFagsand · 26/02/2023 00:51

Send her anyway.

She's being a drama queen. She's too young to leave alone and may even enjoy herself. This would be despite herself. Tell her it'll give her something to tell her therapist.

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