Starting with a TL:DR as it is going to be a long one!
If someone (with a history of CFery) is rude and telling you off one moment and then trying to be friendly the next, do you seethe quietly or point out they're being rude?
AIBU - Tell them they're being rude and you're pissed off, hence not replying
AINBU - Keep quiet and don't engage any more than absolutely necessary, don't escalate it!
I shan't bore people with the back story, but from prior threads, I have an incredibly CF. Main issues outlined here:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4707971-aibu-to-not-lend-neighbour-my-car
Since Christmas, I have been steering clear and doing the bare minimum I feel comfortable with i.e. accepting parcels and letting the window cleaner in (he does both of our houses at once).
This was going much better for me, and I had very little contact and so was content with that. Until...
Twice in the last week I have been told off and lectured via text over complete non-issues. I had a surprise visit from a tradesperson, who I let in via shared access at the back. Normally I would always text the street if I know it's happening, but I didn't. I was clearly visible next to tradie at all times and large logo'd van was in front of my house. I let him in and then rushed to get my phone to alert people, was met with a text about how "terrified" neighbour was and how I needed to let them know. I apologised and said I hadn't known they were coming, otherwise I'd forewarn them as I always have done in the past.... and then for the next 30 minutes received sporadic messages telling me I had to give warning and how unreasonable it was of me. When I didn't reply to any of this post apology, the next day was being sent selfies and updates of what they were up to - not normal even before when we were friendlier!
(NB, 2 days later I had a man hammering at my door after midnight, which genuinely terrified me. Turned out to be neighbour had ordered takeaway to wrong address and instead of apologising, told me off for not taking in the food for them!)
Earlier this week they needed something done and texted to ask if it was ok that the person doing it was blocking my drive (and my car) in - this was after they'd already been blocking it in for an hour. I replied it wasn't great, but as long as it was done by 4 when I needed to go out, then not to worry moving it. Received a stream of messages that I don't go out during the day (true I wfh) so don't need my car and so it was no problem for it to be blocked in. Baffling... why ask if you've already decided it's fine!? I didn't reply to any of these, because honestly what is the point?! Then shortly after received texts asking where I was going at 4 and did I have anything nice planned?!
I realise these are petty examples, but they're endless, I've been told off for my empty wheelie bin being put outside their house by the bin lorry, I've been told off for not being in when they've had a parcel delivery. I don't know what to do - do I just straight up ask if they realise they are being so rude? I know that's a Mnet cliche, but do they honestly think you can tell someone off over nothing and be friends in the next breath!?
Thank you for reading so far!