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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your child vomited in a restaurant what would you do?

202 replies

TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 22:07

Don't read this post if talking about vomit disturbs you.

I work FOH in a nice independent restaurant. It's expensive and quite formal. Not really a place for small children but we do have a lot of families eating with us during the holidays.

It's day 2 of half term here and I have had 2 different children vomit in my restaurant. I honestly can not believe how the parents involved have behaved. I need to get this off my chest.

The first one yesterday was dreadful. Poor child stood in the middle of the room, gagging and retching, and her parents just sat there! There was no way she would have made it to the loo so I ran over with the bin from my bar and instead of puking in to the bin the poor kid turned her head towards a table of four and let go. I was literally catching sick in my hands so it didn't land on this woman just trying to eat her lunch.
Her parents still did nothing, just carried on sitting there with their mouths hanging open. So I held the bin up under her chin and helped her to the bathroom. Finally her mum came in to help the poor girl and I returned to absolute chaos in the restaurant.
I got everything cleaned up, the vomit family came to pay their bill and asked for the gratuity to be removed. I don't ever expect tips, the gratuity is added to the bill automatically, I have no problem removing it normally but when I have literally just caught your child's vomit in my bare hands I think leaving that 10% tip is the least you can do. They didn't even say thank you.

Then today I have a table of 12 in my section, 8 adults and 4 children. They're enjoying their main courses when all of a sudden they stand up at once and start getting ready to leave, very suspicious behaviour. I start walking over when one of the mum's comes rushing up to me and tells me, in a very jolly manner, that one her of her children has just vomited a little bit but it's fine because she caught it on her plate and they just want to pay the bill and get the child home. I hand her over to another waitress to sort the bill and go over to their table.
She definitely managed to catch the vomit on her plate. And 6 other plates. It's in some glasses, on a cushion, and in the flowers. Oh, and the floor! There is no way that much sick came from one child. So, once again, I am left to clean up vomit. I have to give my customers to the other servers and close that section to deal with it all.
While I'm cleaning the waitress who dealt with their bill comes over to tell me that they removed the gratuity and also demanded a 50% discount since they didn't get to finish their meals before their child was sick. When that was refused they made a complaint that I had pulled a face and given a disgusted look and I should be more cheerful.

There is, of course, the knock-on effect of other customers being unhappy and complaining (understandable) and wanting discounts on their bills etc.

I have two children. We eat out often. If one of them were to be sick then I'd be cleaning it up myself and if for some reason I couldn't then I would be apologising to every staff member and customer nearby then I'd leave a huge tip.

YABU - Minimum wage waiting staff should clean up vomit without complaining.

YANBU - Of course I'd clean up my child's vomit and if I couldn't then I'd make sure the staff knew how grateful I am for their help.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 21/02/2023 23:19

I worked in various bars and restaurants as a student, and while I wouldn't expect the parents to clear up, I do expect them to take their child to the bathroom, and then pay their bill and leave.

To be honest, I'd rather get them out of the restaurant, because I can clean up a lot faster and more thoroughly myself.

Cherryblossoms85 · 21/02/2023 23:20

WineIsMyMainVice · 21/02/2023 23:03

I would be mortified and do anything I could to avoid anyone else having to deal with my child’s puke!!
saying that though, I remember clearly when my 4 year old niece was terminally ill and was sick in a pub and the staff looked at us like 🙄. I went over to ask for blue roll/spray/bucket etc so I could clean it up and they looked down their nose at me. I even said ‘She’s having chemo she’s terminally ill’ and they still looked like she was something they’d trodden in. It was a real shock.

That's so sad, I'm so sorry you lost your niece. What a terrible memory. Minor I guess but the lack of empathy must have hurt.

PeeblesQueebles · 21/02/2023 23:20

WhiteNarcissi · 21/02/2023 22:37

My child vomited several times a week for about a year when he was seriously ill. It was exhausting and stressful. He actually nearly died. No I didn't always clear up or tip every time if we were out - we were barely surviving. Maybe show some sympathy as you don't know what's going on?!

Sorry but you know what, if you have no sympathy for the people who have to clear up your kid’s puke and you can’t even bring yourself to tip then, then you can’t expect any in return. It’s a restaurant not a hospital.

if he was vomiting all the time why on Earth didn’t you have sick bags with you??

Eyerollcentral · 21/02/2023 23:21

Blisterinthe · 21/02/2023 23:15

Presumably because even if your child is seriously ill, and vomiting multiple times for about a year suggests something more sinister than a stomach bug, you also want to live your life and if it’s assumed it might be the last year of your child’s life you want to make memories that aren’t just hospital or home based.
Takeaways and being at home isn’t the same.
I say that as someone who goes out with an empty plastic lined tote-bag just in case.

Show quote history

I am sorry your child has been ill, it must be horrendous. However you have gone out prepared, the previous poster has not indicated they have.

MelonFarmer · 21/02/2023 23:22

That’s grim OP

DD vomited In ikea before Christmas. Came on suddenly, she went very grey, keeled over and was sick in the warehouse. I sought out a worker, got a vomit kit and cleaned it up myself. DD is 24….

I just couldn’t and wouldn’t expect someone else to deal with that

GneissGuysFinishLast · 21/02/2023 23:22

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/02/2023 23:18

When my son was sick in Costco they sprinkled special powder on it and then brushed it up. It was called a vomit kit.

My DS was also sick in Costco, he was having an eye examination and out of nowhere threw up over the chair, floor and the unfortunate optician who was doing a close up part of the examination at the time. I scooped him up (apologising profusely) and found a bin to catch anything else that came up. The staff wouldn’t let me clean up because they use a vomit kit, they also said they were more worried about poorly DS, which was kind of them.

We went back a few days later with flowers for the optician and asked if we could pay the cleaning bill for her coat, which caught most of the sick.

The staff were lovely, very helpful and reassuring to DS who was absolutely mortified.

OP I’d have tried to clean it up as best I could, given I’d obviously also have a poorly child to deal with - leaving a decent tip and sincere thanks for all help offered.

Fortunately our Costco vom landed squarely on the floor. I was holding him and managed to flip him forward. He was only about 6 months old so it was a relatively small volume luckily. they were so efficient with the kit - I only told them because I didn’t want anyone to slip while I was trying to clean it, but they told me they aren’t allowed to let customers clean it.

Blackpool pleasure beach also carry vomit kits. Ask me how I know 😂

Offensiveapprently · 21/02/2023 23:24

Are you nit worried that one ofvthe common denominators in all this is that the two children had eaten food at your restaurant? Did it occur that it may have been caused by your food?
Never in my years of restaurant work did I see a child vomit do violently in a food place.....yet here you are with two in less than a week.

janefondofu · 21/02/2023 23:25

WhiteNarcissi · 21/02/2023 22:37

My child vomited several times a week for about a year when he was seriously ill. It was exhausting and stressful. He actually nearly died. No I didn't always clear up or tip every time if we were out - we were barely surviving. Maybe show some sympathy as you don't know what's going on?!

Your childs case is exceptional, as it is rather rare

Fluffnotscruffy · 21/02/2023 23:28

Some people are disgusting. There’s no excuse for not cleaning up or at very least offering to clean up your child’s vomit and not leaving a generous tip for the servers.

We stayed in a very posh hotel when DD was around 5, it was a castle and the clientele were very grand so fuck knows what we were doing there.

After dinner, at which DD had stuffed her face with a massive pizza and fries we were invited into the drawing room for coffees and DD was offered a hot chocolate, when we were ready to leave DD still had most of her chocolate so I hurried her along encouraging her to drink it up quick as we had to leave. So what happened next was entirely my own fault.

As DD is necking the hot chocolate, encouraged by me to hurry up she turned green, I started yelling at DP to grab her and get her off the rug. I just kept yelling ‘ the rug, the rug ‘ DP picked her up and put her head towards his chest so she could vomit on him whilst I stood holding my dress up to catch it. We somehow managed to prevent it from getting on the rug.

I was beyond mortified as the three of us stood there dripping in puke.

The staff were great and quickly came to our aid with towels to clean ourselves up.

I profusely apologised to the staff and other guests. DD was crying and I was quiet upset by it all too as we got some disdainful looks from other guests but I’ll always remember the kindness of a lovely old dear who approached us, gave her a euro and told her a joke to cheer her up.

DP tipped all the staff and we spent the rest of the weekend hiding in our room.

Mortifying and all entirely my fault.

DD has since developed emetophobia and I always wonder was it that incident that triggered it.

EatYourVegetables · 21/02/2023 23:28

Christ.

My awfully entitled friends once told
me about the time when they went on a stag do abroad, got incredibly drunk, vomited in the sink, and left it for the housekeeping to deal with. I was appalled. But even they left a massive tip instead of asking for a discount!!

TheShellBeach · 21/02/2023 23:30

DS was sick in a cafe once but I managed to race him through to the loos before the worst happened. Later that day, at Glasgow airport, we were waiting to board a flight and I could see he was about to do it again, so I ran with him through the departure lounge to the outside (and didn't quite get there). I offered to clean it up but the staff insisted on doing it.

I would 100% have cleaned it up if he'd done it in the restaurant. I am shocked that some people think the staff should do this.

DD was suddenly and violently sick at Euston station once, too, and the staff couldn't have been kinder. A lovely couple who were there lent me some of their child's clothes. It was so good of them. I washed them and posted them back.

TheShellBeach · 21/02/2023 23:32

My oldest DD works in a pub and she discovered the loo to be full of vomit and loads of blood, with a nearly-unconscious customer lying on the floor.

He was taken to hospital and DD had the unenviable job of cleaning up the cloakroom.

Original poster
TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 23:32

Offensiveapprently · 21/02/2023 23:24

Are you nit worried that one ofvthe common denominators in all this is that the two children had eaten food at your restaurant? Did it occur that it may have been caused by your food?
Never in my years of restaurant work did I see a child vomit do violently in a food place.....yet here you are with two in less than a week.

No, I don't believe it was food poisoning from my restaurant for various reasons, as mentioned in previous comments.

The actual vomiting is not the point of my post either. The poor behaviour from the parents, the rudeness, how ungrateful and entitled they were is.

OP posts:
Mars27 · 21/02/2023 23:35

I worked in hospitality in a variety of settings for a number of years, from cafes to fine dining. DH worked in retail for about 10 years. Let me tell you, nothing about the human behaviour surprises or shocks me anymore. Nothing.

OP you have my sympathies, don't let the bastards get you. Remember, you're never the problem Flowers

paulhollywoodshairgel · 21/02/2023 23:35

When my DD was small she threw up exorcist style in a restaurant. It was everywhere. The member of staff wouldn't let me help him clean up he just sent me off to clean up and see to DD. I went back later with a cake and some beers for him. No excuse for the people
You've had to deal with.. some people are just gross

Sceptre86 · 21/02/2023 23:35

We went to a restaurant launch on Friday. My baby was sick. My husband caught as much as he could in his hands and the rest covered my arm but some did splatter on the floor. Dh used a muslin cloth to clean himself and me. I stripped baby and took her to the bathroom to change her clothes. There was a lot of sick, it was projectile. Dh came back and cleaned the floor, I packed away her sick clothes and made sure the that we hadn't missed any sick. I did tell the waiting staff because the floor whilst clean of sick could have done with a mop and a generous fuse of air freshener. I was mortified and left afterwards as I was making the place reek with sick stained clothes.

I'm not sure why they took the gratuity off, that was rude.

Blossomtoes · 21/02/2023 23:41

I’d be questioning wtf was happening in the kitchen for a number of children to vomit in two episodes on consecutive days.

louderthan · 21/02/2023 23:41

I am emetophobic and cringe reading this. This is one of the reasons I won't be having children. I have nothing to add I'm afraid, apart from to say that OP is a hero and to BEG parents to clean up/contain any such V as much as they possibly can. Seeing someone V like this would trigger a panic attack for me.
And before you all pile on I KNOW this isn't normal; it's ruining my life and I'm on the waiting list for CBT.

Somethingneedstochange78 · 21/02/2023 23:42

I would be cleaning it up and sorting my own child out. My daughter has vomited in a supermarket. Wasn't ill she had a siezure and can induce vomiting. I always have tissues so was wiping her face. Wasn't much I could do about cleaning it up with her out cold on the floor. Someone came with a mop and bucket and someone else got her a bottle of water. We got her into a wheelchair and carried on with my shopping.

Eyesofdisarray · 21/02/2023 23:43

You deserve a large tip OP.
Some people are staggeringly entitled. And asking for a reduced bill- flipping cheek

Original poster
TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 23:43

Mars27 · 21/02/2023 23:35

I worked in hospitality in a variety of settings for a number of years, from cafes to fine dining. DH worked in retail for about 10 years. Let me tell you, nothing about the human behaviour surprises or shocks me anymore. Nothing.

OP you have my sympathies, don't let the bastards get you. Remember, you're never the problem Flowers

I bet you have some horror stories too! This vomiting nonsense is not even my worst but it's one of the events that has tipped me over the edge.

20 years of hospitality and I am burnt out and just done with it. People are ruder, more unpleasant and more entitled than ever. I didn't think people could be worse than they were during the pandemic and yet too many of them prove me wrong every day.

OP posts:
Saz12 · 21/02/2023 23:44

OP, that’s awful.

Ive been puked on by a strangers dc in a posh cafe. I did cancel my order and leave (because I then stank of the vomit dribbling down my trousers...!). But I did apologise to the waitress and explain. The parents didn’t appear to be doing anything much in the way of mopping, cleaning, saying sorry, etc. Even if your child is unwell, you can still appreciate that being polite and prepared is a good idea...

Dibbydoos · 21/02/2023 23:46

Society where privilege is everything and those who claim it can make ridiculous demands.

I'd have been mortified it my kids had been sick anywhere, but kids show they're ill before you take them out, so why are they being dragged out.

My mum did it to me once, I was about 3 and had been poorly all morning. Well I was sick, she rushed me to a drain cos we were outside and this man ran across us as I was being sick. It went on his trouser leg, but it was his own fault he choseto cut across us rather than circumvent us - me bent over being sick and my mum holding back my hair and rubbing my back!

StClare101 · 21/02/2023 23:47

Been there. I caught about 80% of it in my hands. DH dealt with DS while the staff brought me paper towels etc. Blergh.

Eyerollcentral · 21/02/2023 23:52

Sceptre86 · 21/02/2023 23:35

We went to a restaurant launch on Friday. My baby was sick. My husband caught as much as he could in his hands and the rest covered my arm but some did splatter on the floor. Dh used a muslin cloth to clean himself and me. I stripped baby and took her to the bathroom to change her clothes. There was a lot of sick, it was projectile. Dh came back and cleaned the floor, I packed away her sick clothes and made sure the that we hadn't missed any sick. I did tell the waiting staff because the floor whilst clean of sick could have done with a mop and a generous fuse of air freshener. I was mortified and left afterwards as I was making the place reek with sick stained clothes.

I'm not sure why they took the gratuity off, that was rude.

If you don’t mind me asking, unless it was a close friend or relative opening the restaurant and even then, why did you take a young baby to a restaurant launch? Surely the relatively high likelihood of something like this would mean you wouldn’t bring your baby to such an event? I wouldn’t.

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