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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your child vomited in a restaurant what would you do?

202 replies

TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 22:07

Don't read this post if talking about vomit disturbs you.

I work FOH in a nice independent restaurant. It's expensive and quite formal. Not really a place for small children but we do have a lot of families eating with us during the holidays.

It's day 2 of half term here and I have had 2 different children vomit in my restaurant. I honestly can not believe how the parents involved have behaved. I need to get this off my chest.

The first one yesterday was dreadful. Poor child stood in the middle of the room, gagging and retching, and her parents just sat there! There was no way she would have made it to the loo so I ran over with the bin from my bar and instead of puking in to the bin the poor kid turned her head towards a table of four and let go. I was literally catching sick in my hands so it didn't land on this woman just trying to eat her lunch.
Her parents still did nothing, just carried on sitting there with their mouths hanging open. So I held the bin up under her chin and helped her to the bathroom. Finally her mum came in to help the poor girl and I returned to absolute chaos in the restaurant.
I got everything cleaned up, the vomit family came to pay their bill and asked for the gratuity to be removed. I don't ever expect tips, the gratuity is added to the bill automatically, I have no problem removing it normally but when I have literally just caught your child's vomit in my bare hands I think leaving that 10% tip is the least you can do. They didn't even say thank you.

Then today I have a table of 12 in my section, 8 adults and 4 children. They're enjoying their main courses when all of a sudden they stand up at once and start getting ready to leave, very suspicious behaviour. I start walking over when one of the mum's comes rushing up to me and tells me, in a very jolly manner, that one her of her children has just vomited a little bit but it's fine because she caught it on her plate and they just want to pay the bill and get the child home. I hand her over to another waitress to sort the bill and go over to their table.
She definitely managed to catch the vomit on her plate. And 6 other plates. It's in some glasses, on a cushion, and in the flowers. Oh, and the floor! There is no way that much sick came from one child. So, once again, I am left to clean up vomit. I have to give my customers to the other servers and close that section to deal with it all.
While I'm cleaning the waitress who dealt with their bill comes over to tell me that they removed the gratuity and also demanded a 50% discount since they didn't get to finish their meals before their child was sick. When that was refused they made a complaint that I had pulled a face and given a disgusted look and I should be more cheerful.

There is, of course, the knock-on effect of other customers being unhappy and complaining (understandable) and wanting discounts on their bills etc.

I have two children. We eat out often. If one of them were to be sick then I'd be cleaning it up myself and if for some reason I couldn't then I would be apologising to every staff member and customer nearby then I'd leave a huge tip.

YABU - Minimum wage waiting staff should clean up vomit without complaining.

YANBU - Of course I'd clean up my child's vomit and if I couldn't then I'd make sure the staff knew how grateful I am for their help.

OP posts:
KindlyKanga · 21/02/2023 22:32

Asking to remove the service charge (and more!) Is beyond disgusting

YerAWizardHarry · 21/02/2023 22:33

My step son vomited in the McDonald’s queue once, I took him to the bathroom as he was still retching and he was sick some more. By the time I had cleaned him up and came back out they’d saw dusted the sick and put cones round. I felt sooo guilty though

Schnooze · 21/02/2023 22:33

I’d be cleaning up after my child. Outrageous behaviour,

Butterflyhelp · 21/02/2023 22:34

If it was my child I'd be mortified, I'd have done absolutely everything I could to minimise the mess e.g made sure the bun yiu provided was used and I'd have paid the tip and not asked for a discount, but I don't thinknidnhave expected to clear it up.

Isn't it quite a well known scam to avoid a bill? Somehow making yourself sick and blaming the food/claiming you didn't enjoy the meal?

I once saw someone do it in Pizzaland. Remember them?

MeinKraft · 21/02/2023 22:36

Blimey that's shocking. If my kids were sick in a restaurant id ask for blue roll and spray to clean it as best I could myself then get the hell out of there asap.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 21/02/2023 22:36

DD once felt sick in a restaurant abroad. We were sitting in a enclosed outdoors area so ushered her into the street quickly where she was sick. I asked for a bucket of water to swill the pavement as it was near the entrance but the restaurant said to just leave it. I felt shame every time I walked past that dark patch for the rest of the holiday as I could have cleaned it if they gave me water. If she had been sick inside their boundary I would have been on my hands and knees mopping it up.

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 22:36

@Butterflyhelp can I ask why, as the child's mother, you wouldn't have expected to clean it up? Why is it acceptable for someone on NMW to clean your child's sick up when you wouldn't do it?

WhiteNarcissi · 21/02/2023 22:37

My child vomited several times a week for about a year when he was seriously ill. It was exhausting and stressful. He actually nearly died. No I didn't always clear up or tip every time if we were out - we were barely surviving. Maybe show some sympathy as you don't know what's going on?!

Crazyducklady · 21/02/2023 22:39

When my son was a toddler he was unexpectedly sick in a supermarket - projectile on to the floor - completely fine after. Weird 😵‍💫
Staff appeared from nowhere and were so kind, wouldn’t accept me cleaning it up myself. I was beyond grateful to them and let them know it!

Prettybutdumb · 21/02/2023 22:40

Happened to us once in a supermarket when our DD was about 2. DH ran and grabbed paper towels and spray from the nearby shelf (we paid for them, of course) and we cleaned the hell out of that floor, we wouldn’t dream of expecting someone to deal with our misfortune. We apologised profusely, but we were extremely quick and efficient to disinfect everything.

You poor thing!

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 21/02/2023 22:40

DD was sick once as a toddler in a cafe. I apologised profusely and cleaned it up myself as it's grim for others

Butterflyhelp · 21/02/2023 22:41

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 22:36

@Butterflyhelp can I ask why, as the child's mother, you wouldn't have expected to clean it up? Why is it acceptable for someone on NMW to clean your child's sick up when you wouldn't do it?

Because they'd have the equipment, I'd expect them to want to know it had been done properly and I'd have a sick child to care for.

Fwiw it's worth I have often cleared up other people's children's vomit in school. I don't expect their parents to do it.

Emmamoo89 · 21/02/2023 22:43

Yanbu x

LoveBluey · 21/02/2023 22:45

When I was a teenager I worked in a soft play and this happened more times than I care to remember. I remember parents just nonchalantly telling me their child had been sick and then leaving me to deal with it.

I would have done it anyway as I had the cleaning materials and had to make sure everywhere was properly cleaned (god please don't be in the ball pit!) But I was always struck by how they didn't even apologise or offer to help.

Original poster
TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 22:45

WhiteNarcissi · 21/02/2023 22:37

My child vomited several times a week for about a year when he was seriously ill. It was exhausting and stressful. He actually nearly died. No I didn't always clear up or tip every time if we were out - we were barely surviving. Maybe show some sympathy as you don't know what's going on?!

Are you serious? I am terribly sorry your child was so ill but if he was vomiting so often and you knew it would happen why were you eating in restaurants with him? It must have been very embarrassing and caused him, and you, a lot of unnecessary stress.

While I have sympathy for your specific situation as you have explained it here my mind is still boggling at the fact you would expect minimum wage workers to deal with it and cause other customers digust and upset, which could then go on to negatively affect the business. I just find it awfully unfair and unreasonable of you!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 22:46

LoveBluey · 21/02/2023 22:45

When I was a teenager I worked in a soft play and this happened more times than I care to remember. I remember parents just nonchalantly telling me their child had been sick and then leaving me to deal with it.

I would have done it anyway as I had the cleaning materials and had to make sure everywhere was properly cleaned (god please don't be in the ball pit!) But I was always struck by how they didn't even apologise or offer to help.

God, soft play must have been hell!

An apology or even an offer to help goes a long way to making the situation easier to deal with.

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 21/02/2023 22:46

DD2 was quite sensitive to different textures when she was younger and has vomited in restaurants before. We always clean up and try to be as discr

Original poster
TheTiredBartender · 21/02/2023 22:47

Crazyducklady · 21/02/2023 22:39

When my son was a toddler he was unexpectedly sick in a supermarket - projectile on to the floor - completely fine after. Weird 😵‍💫
Staff appeared from nowhere and were so kind, wouldn’t accept me cleaning it up myself. I was beyond grateful to them and let them know it!

Honestly, just saying thank you goes a long way!

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 21/02/2023 22:49

Discreet as possible so as not to disturb the other customers.

I'm always amazed how rude some people are to waiting staff though. Apparently some people can't imagine what it feels like to be someone else so that may be why.

BigFeelingsMoment · 21/02/2023 22:50

GneissGuysFinishLast · 21/02/2023 22:21

Two children in two days? That seems a little beyond the scope of a normal amount of vomit for a single restaurant - obviously the timescale is too soon for food poisoning or anything directly linked to the restaurant, but I wonder if norovirus is circulating or something?

My son was sick in a fairly nice but not fancy independent tapas restaurant when he was a baby. I was on my hands and knees scooping it up into a nappy sack with my bare hands when the poor owner insisted in taking over. We tipped very well (50% of the cost of the bill) and wrote an excellent review.

Another time in a different but very similar restaurant (even down to the independent fairly nice tapas part!) there were a large ish group at the table beside us, one of the ladies vomited into a pitcher of half consumed sangria and didn’t tell anyone, they all continued with the meal. Shortly after, I went to the toilet and they had vomited down the staircase to the toilets and all over a cubicle. It was horrendous, the whole place smelled. We tipped as normal but I must admit I was slightly annoyed we did not have anything taken off our bill because of the experience - it was previously my favourite restaurant and I’ve never been back!

It’s actually not too soon for some kinds of food poisoning. I’d be looking at whether there were issues with the dishes served to the two families.

Whiskeypowers · 21/02/2023 22:51

Some very extreme opinions here
if one of my kids puked in a restaurant I’d expect to attend to it but also be assisted by staff with cleaning materials and expediting the vomit

Whiskeypowers · 21/02/2023 22:51

Expediting the vomit removal that should read

LaviniasBigBloomers · 21/02/2023 22:52

OP, this has never happened to me but if it did there are no words for the size of the tip I'd leave. It would be epic. Memorable. Heart felt. I cannot get over the brass neck of people doing that then taking off 10%!

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves when I worked in hotels the bell boys and some of the maintenance team had 'special training' in dealing with sick and bodily fluids. I can't imagine how extensive it really was, but they got an extra quid or two if they had to deal with it, so he was probably quite happy!

Eyerollcentral · 21/02/2023 22:54

WhiteNarcissi · 21/02/2023 22:37

My child vomited several times a week for about a year when he was seriously ill. It was exhausting and stressful. He actually nearly died. No I didn't always clear up or tip every time if we were out - we were barely surviving. Maybe show some sympathy as you don't know what's going on?!

Errr why did you keep going to restaurants if you knew you had a child who couldn’t stop vomiting 🤯🤯🤯

GneissGuysFinishLast · 21/02/2023 22:54

Butterflyhelp · 21/02/2023 22:41

Because they'd have the equipment, I'd expect them to want to know it had been done properly and I'd have a sick child to care for.

Fwiw it's worth I have often cleared up other people's children's vomit in school. I don't expect their parents to do it.

Show quote history

Yes, they often do have special equipment to deal with it. When my son was sick in Costco they sprinkled special powder on it and then brushed it up. It was called a vomit kit.

Often they can’t just give the proper products out to customers for health and safety reasons, and wouldn’t necessarily be able to confirm that a parent has cleaned it up properly. Similarly, picking a product up off the shelf might not be safe to use on the floor surface (eg it might make it slippy and someone could fall)

So if the staff insist on cleaning up, there is probably a reason for it.

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