To think that people who smoke aren't totally skint?

[Greedymiss]

Probably going to get shot to pieces for this, but aibu to think that if you are are buying cigarettes, then you aren't actually totally broke?

This has come from someone who has been saying that they can't afford food, but are spending between £40-£70 per week on cigarettes.

I do get that times are tough and the reason that this has made me feel angry is because it reminded me of my parents when I was growing up. We never had money for any luxuries like days out or nice clothes, because they were always poor. Yet they both smoked like chimneys and drank like fish.

yanbu. I used to work on the kiosk in a supermarket and a customer once told me she was paying for her cigarettes instead of her prescription, and this was a few years back when cigs were cheaper than they are now.

if you can afford to smoke, you can afford to feed you and your kids. If you can’t you need to reassess your priorities.

Made me think of Eastenders yesterday with Lily saying that Stacey can’t afford to eat yet she’s always in the pub!

It's so easy to judge as a non smoker. When you are a smoker, cigs are considered essential purchases. There is utter panic when you are down to your last cig in the pack.
I'm an ex smoker and I'm so pleased I finally cracked the addiction, it took 10 years of wanting to quit and trying everything. Allan Carr and Hypnotherapy. Smokers generally don't smoke because they want to especially since it is so demonised these days but they have to.

You doubt need to eat when you smoke cigs, it's kills the appetite.

Their choice at the end of the day I.e. Smoking or paying the bills, food etc

If people stop smoking, the Chancellor will be after more tax to make up shortfall 🙀🙀😹

I have a colleague also who is really really stretched financially. I have paid for her lunches many a time. She told me that her state pension mum has started giving her some money every month to try and help. Then asked me to never mention to her mum that she smokes. (We know each other). recently she also let slip that she and her DH between them spend around £50 A DAY on cigarettes and weed.

That is simply madness. Circa 1500 a month?! If you got a 1500 a month pay rise you would be ecstatic.

Mind you, I spend about (counts quickly) £50-70 a week on bottles of wine and a weekly trip to the pub so i am hardly one to talk about stupid wastes of money.

I also can't believe the poster saying ciggies cost virtually nothing some years ago! Of COURSE they did! It's all relative. £3.50 for 20 may not be much now, but it was in 2001 when they were that price. What a silly thing to say!

No, it's not all relative. Aggressively increasing the price of cigarettes via tobacco taxes has been a deliberate tobacco control policy for many years. It has undoubtedly prompted many smokers to quit and prevented lots of children from ever starting and that's great but the collateral damage is those who still can't quit but also now can't afford food.

All of this.Everytime.

Nicotine addiction is known by medical/addiction professionals to be very difficult to overcome, actually.

I am still addicted having not smoked for over 15 years, I can still crave a cigarette in certain situations. This is not unusual.

It is so easy to judge others.

What is worse? Occasionally craving a cigarette or not feeding yourself/your children?

And trying to mooch off OP for money for food.

I have addiction issues in general- not in a which which hinders my life or involves anything illegal. I just seem to have some kind of unresolved oral fixation. Food, nicotine, alcohol, caffeine- my brain always wants for something. I always have to be eating, drinking or vaping something to feel comfortable. Addiction is a complex issue, especially if you have multiple ones.

Actually, when I’ve been broke I’ve always let go of it a little bit. Food and other comforts have taken priority because I have a child. If I didn’t have a child then, sadly, I don’t think I’d care at all. I’d probably choose to go hungry and keep my vape, coffee and alcohol. The outside world would never assume this about me either. I have a professional job and seem ‘normal’.

My perspective on this varies hugely depending on whether the person in question has children tbh.

If you are single and childless and want to spend a third of your income on fags you’re only hurting yourself. If you have children it’s a whole other ballgame.

I am a former smoker and I know it’s hard to quit but there comes a point where refusal to quit is just forcing a dangerous and expensive habit onto your kids. It’s more the health factor than the money for me: how can you expect to be a decent role model to your children if they routinely see you poisoning yourself. If you have very little money and can’t afford basics that compounds the problem.

It’s pretty black and white to me: I don’t respect people who smoke heavily in front of their kids. An occasional fag out of view or when you are with adults is one thing but normalising it in the family environment is pretty shit. If you have to do it have the decency to hide it.

I think priorities are different for those who live with an addiction.

for a non smoker the simple answer is cut out the cigs and feed yourself food

but for the person with an addiction that is partly their food as odd as it sounds.

not nourishing in the least of course!

I understand it’s an addiction but when you are prioritising something like that over feeding your children, or are begging money off of other people to pay for cigarettes or begging food from them then you absolutely should be trying to get help. (Not aimed at you by the way just from other messages on this thread)

Of course its a fucking choice. People stop smokng every day. I did.

If you can't feed your children but you can buy 20 a day, you're a shit parent and a total fucking twat. I don't care how addicted you think you are.

Smoke, but not skint.

Bizarre comparison. Choice between heat and food is hardly the same as choice between cigarettes and food.

The person I'm talking about, well I really don't care what they do because she has no small children depending on her. She's had a tough time and I didn't even initially think about the smoking or the cost of it until it was pointed out, but when someone directly involves you in their finances it's hard to take them seriously when they are pleading poverty and you realise they are spending such a huge amount on ciggies. It definitely is the amount I said because I have been told on good authority.

I would consider dh and I to be comfortable, but £40-£70 a week is still a huge amount of money to us and it dawned on me that what we view as essential is very different to some people.

It made me feel quite disgusted with my parents who saw their cigarettes and alcohol as the top priority when we were regularly running out of electricity, selling furniture and household items for quick cash and going without.

Humans have always been messy, does judging ever help to fix anything?

There's a lot of research done into why some people don't/can't give up - often connected to extremely poor mental health.

There are so many people who 'should be trying to get help' but don't.

Yes, this is the nature of addiction. It causes disordered thinking and the inability to make good choices.

An addiction is like a mind virus that co-opts your life so you funnel resources towards maintaining it with the substance or behaviour it craves instead of making good choices in your own best interests.

It's not untreatable and everyone should grab whatever help is available to them to quit but it is an illness not a choice and there is nothing with 100% success rate.

I agree with you OP but it’s one of my many unpopular opinions.

As an ex smoker, my reasons for giving up were the cost and the fact my husband didn't smoke.
As for it being addictive as heroin, slightly different isn't it?
You don't get sick coming off cigarettes, you get better.

Not saying it's easy but I'm sure it's easier than heroin.

This
Its easy for people to criticise smokers and be judgemental but what people need to understand is that for many it is literally the only’treat’ they can give themselves.
I work with people who never have a holiday,never eat out ,never go clothes shopping ,never have a night out or treat themselves to a bottle of wine and work 42-50 hrs a week on shit money. Smoking is literally the only treat they have and yes their children are fed and clothed ! All really lovely hard working people who just were not lucky enough to get a good start in life ! They nearly all smoke hand rolled cigarettes which apparently is a lot cheaper than normal cigarettes.
I certainly wouldn’t want their life and I do not judge them for smoking!

Your friend asking for cash has brought back a shitload of bad memories for you with your parents.

I reckon you're justified in your thinking. I'd be pissed off too.

As for people saying it's judgemental, yes it is. Anybody that says they are not judgmental, is lying. We all have a line.

A fair number of recovered heroin addicts would tell you that smoking is more difficult to quit. Addiction is complex, it's not just about the severity of physical withdrawal symptoms.