To think that people who smoke aren't totally skint?

[Greedymiss]

Probably going to get shot to pieces for this, but aibu to think that if you are are buying cigarettes, then you aren't actually totally broke?

This has come from someone who has been saying that they can't afford food, but are spending between £40-£70 per week on cigarettes.

I do get that times are tough and the reason that this has made me feel angry is because it reminded me of my parents when I was growing up. We never had money for any luxuries like days out or nice clothes, because they were always poor. Yet they both smoked like chimneys and drank like fish.

As a former smoker YANBU.
Yes, it's bloody hard to quit, like it can be terrible, but man. If not being able to afford food isn't any motivation, you got your priorities wrong

Addicts prioritise their addiction. They’ll buy fags or drugs or booze first. Food and power cards second.

That’s a sad fact. And if the addiction gets too expensive there may not be any money left, after buying the stuff they are addicted to, for food and power cards. And food banks don’t give food out indefinitely.

Nicotine addiction is an addiction the same as prescription drugs or heroin etc, and addictions make you prioritise the addiction.
I quit 6 months ago, well cigarettes, I vape now and so I'm still addicted to nicotine. Just a cheaper version of it.
I went without a lot of things to afford the cigarettes, but ultimately my stubbornness and refusal to pay the increasing prices is what made me switch.
I'm still a nicotine addict though.

Yanbu at all but society nowadays views anything that is considered a vice or an addiction as something we are all unable to overcome, probably for good reason as generally people have better levels of empathy and understanding about coping mechanisms and destructive behaviours etc however a level of personal responsibility is required too. It might not be an overnight thing but letting it drag on with no efforts to resolve a smoking habit and cut back on the costs isn't acceptable.

This is the point really. (I'm also an ex-smoker - it isn't THAT hard to give up)

It's got nothing to do with benefits and I don't think they are on any benefits. It's literally that this person is saying that after bills they have no money left for food, but is spending £40-£70 a week on cigarettes. I only know about this because the person has directly involved me.

I know it's unpleasant to judge people but I grew up not having a winter coat when I needed one yet parents always had cigarettes no matter what.

Uh oh, OP. Don't know if you'll get "shot to pieces", but people tend to dislike such sentiments. We find the money for the things we think we can't live without. And sometimes a difficult time is made a bit more bearable by being able to indulge in whatever our thing is.

Also, with smoking, it's a habit, isn't it, and maybe it's possible that people are so deep in the habit that it doesn't even occur to them that they could stop and that they'd even gain something from it.

Who mentioned benefits?

I do get it.. most of the people I met when involved with a food bank and community food project were smokers. Although most rolled their own or probably bought dodgy cigarettes off the back of a lorry. And on the one hand it’s ridiculous, and it’s hard not to judge - especially where children are involved - but it’s all part of the cycle of poverty and deprivation, which is often generational, and bloody difficult to break. (And I say that as an ex smoker, who carries a lot of guilt for the times I prioritised smoking at the expense of my children.)

I know it's unpleasant to judge people but I grew up not having a winter coat when I needed one yet parents always had cigarettes no matter what.

But they cost nothing then unless you're in your twenties now or something

@LucyLeave asked whether it was a benefits bashing thread.

Well they didn't cost nothing. They might have been a lot cheaper. But when you have no money for the absolute basics even £10 or £20 a week is significant.

They have a certain amount of money and they choose what matters most to them.
As long as it's only them that's going hungry then that's their choice. Everyone has the right to choose what priority each of their personal needs has.

OTOH if, for example, they have a child who is going hungry because they are buying cigarettes rather than food then that I will unashamedly judge the ever loving fuck out of.

I know. Stupid bloody app didn’t quote her when I said to. I meant to ask her who mentioned benefits seeing as she was attacking you for starting a benefit bashing thread when no one had even mentioned benefits.

My IL know a couple who both smoked 40/day ...they spent more on cigarettes than we spent on our mortgage, which was quite mind boggling. (They weren't claiming to be skint btw)

But as someone who drinks too much diet coke but can't seem to kick the habit, I can't be too judgemental about addictions or smoking

Completely agree OP. My DM was exactly the same. We had shitty clothes & there she was having her 20 craven A's a day🙄

I grew up really poor, electricity often cut off, didn't always have food. Yet my mum and dad never went without cigarettes. As an adult I'm disgusted that they let us live so abysmally

Well, no.

Say you’re responding to someone who is 40 now, born in 1983. She’d have been 12, needing a coat in 1995. A pack of cigarettes cost £2.60. If they smoke a pack a day each (like many smokers) that’s £36.40 per week. If they’d quit smoking for one week they could’ve easily bought their child a winter coat.

YNBU
My dad smoked since he was 14.
He always told me and my ds that it was a mucky habit and a big waste of money ( he could afford it - we never went without anything )
He told us not to start as it was difficult to stop - he did after his heart surgery though.
We therefore never smoked.
Hopefully with the public places smoking ban it's not seen as cool anymore and less people will start.

This.

Smoking, poverty and poor mental health in particular have a tendency to go together.

Lots of info here:

ash.org.uk/resources/local-toolkit/health-inequalities-resource-pack

I've been this addicted to smoking, I know what it feels like. I'm just grateful I could always afford it. I don't think smokers expect respect when they reach this level of addiction, most will already feel deeply ashamed which in turn leads to worse mental health, and so the cycle turns.

Oh dear OP if only you had complained that your neighbour smoked in his garden and you could smell it in your house.
You would have had everybody on your side.

It's an addiction, a legal one, but an addiction nonetheless.

This means it's not a choice.

If your kids are hungry and you have no money for heat etc but you still smoke you should be ashamed of yourself.

I agree but you could also say that about lots of things to an extent. For example you're not skint if you drink anything apart from tap water.

If it’s just themselves to consider then each to their own but if they have children or are using food banks then it’s not OK.