Would u step in and say something...?

[mumofteenss]

My son is 19, he started his first full time job last October. For context, my son is ASD though coped in mainstream schools, and severely dyslexic, i helped him with his application, dbs, all that kind of thing to get get the job. He very much needs support in certain admin related aspects of his life still. He also suffers from anxiety, and dislikes confrontation, hes very passive and often gets walked over by people taking advantage of this, i do my best to build his confidence and he has gotten better over the past few years or so, but still quite very passive with authority, such as management. Hes doing very well in his job, however, there are a few issues he is struggling to resolve.

The main one is annual leave. He has worked 48 hours a week since October. He does 4x12 shifts a weeks. He worked every bank holiday over Christmas,(christmas eve, day, boxing day and the monday bank holiday, same for new years) and in fairness to him was happy to do so, but he was told at the time working these days add an extra 7.5 hours of holiday for each one, to his accrued time. His accrued hours now sit at nearly 100 hours. Only, they are telling him that there is no available time so he cant have any time off, bar 1 day end of march, so he would work 3 days not 4 that week. They are saying they will carry over the statutory hours to next financial year, but not the bank holidays they would be lost, and then next available week off is the last week of JUNE. That means he will have worked 48 hours a week, for 9 months, with zero time off. The kid is exhausted, absolutely shattered all the time. And i have my suspicion they wont carry hours over as they wont put it in writing which i encouraged him to get.

Firstly, where does he stand with the time off, does anyone know?

Secondly, as a parent of a young adult who does requires that bit more support than average, would you step in and help?

Is there an HR department? What kind of organisation is he working in? Does he have anything in writing about his additional accrued annual leave?

I don’t think you should get involved directly but you absolutely should figure out the law and logistics of the situation and pass that info onto him.

Contact ACAS to see where he stands legally with the holiday, i wouldn't get involved directly but I would do that so you can advise him..

Its a large worldwide company, that has a bed reputation in fairness, that are subcontracted by other large industries. However its a good position on good money that he really enjoys.

He has nothing in writing, i encouraged him to ask but they wouldn't give it.

I will try and contact ACAS and see what they can suggest.

The biggest issue is my son wont force the conversation, as soon as they say no, he backs off and wont argues his own case even if he were handed the facts.

Useful info here about legal entitlement to annual leave (in the UK) that he (you) can use:
www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights

You can advise him but do not contact them, he is an adult

Would he feel confident to ask to be paid for the accrued hours if there is no time off that he can take?

That might be a way to force a resolution without conflict if he struggles with authority.

At the end of the day if he’s only 19 and really doesn’t want to discuss it then I think you’d be best to step back and let him lose the holiday. It doesn’t feel fair but it’ll be an important realisation that sometimes you do need to advocate for yourself….

I take it that the company he works for are aware of his difficulties? Assuming that to be the case, then I think I probably would step in. I don't know anything about ASD so don't know if it is classed as a disability, but if it is, I would make an appointment to see the top boss, and tell them that you feel he is being taken advantage of due to his disabilities, and that it is against the law. However, obviously you would need to be absolutely sure of your facts before doing this. If it's not classed as a disability, then just tell them that you feel that with his difficulties, he finds it hard to speak up for himself, and as it's his first job is wary of rocking the boat, however, as his parent, under these circumstances you feel it is only right to advocate for him. Before doing any of this though, you need to have a clear discussion with your son, to see how he feels about you getting involved. Another thought would be, could you talk through with your son about making an appointment to see the boss himself, and then writing a list, or script, of what he needs to say. If he wants to handle it himself, has he someone at work that he gets on well with that he/you could have a chat with, and maybe ask them if they could accompany him to see the boss, so they can speak up, if your son gets in a pickle? Sorry, these are all just thoughts, and none may be practical, but it just annoys me so much that companies, often take advantage of those of us who find it difficult to stand up for ourselves. Hope you can help him sort it out, but failing this, I'd be tempted to suggest he leaves as he would then be entitled to holiday pay for all the days he's owed. Good luck

Oh and encourage him to book the June week now so that it can’t disappear!

I think all you can do is advise him and help him compose emails etc. You can actually step in and sort the problem for him, that wouldn’t solve anything and he wouldn’t be learning to manage things himself, you’d just be ‘saving’ him.

Is this really somewhere he wants to work. Does he really like it or is he just used to it and not wanting change? I think learning to move on from a bad employer is almost as important as staying and working it out. Sounds like the issues is not just his avoidance of conflict but also the employer being shit and exploitative.

I’m going against the grain here but my own children have asd and I would definitely step in here. They are taking advantage of him.

They are taking the piss . They planned this and promised him the earth so some self centred people could have time off over Xmas . I've worked with people like this before . They had no intention of giving him this time off . Get advice from Acas hopefully he get the holidays and then focus on finding another job

I agree with pp. He is an adult yes, but a vulnerable adult with ASD. My daughter is 20 with ASD and I would definitely step in if a company was taking advantage. The only exception would be if she was adamant that I keep out. If your son is happy to let you help, then go for it, otherwise I fear they will think they can just get away with it. Good luck OP. Also well done to your son, he sounds amazing!

His employers do not need to speak to you about it because you are not their employee, so as far as they are concerned it’s none of your business.

So you could contact them (I don’t think you should anyway) but they wouldn’t have to engage with you.

The job role is something he has wanted to do for many years since seeing the job in action in his early teens. Its a "worth while" job that involves helping people, he does really enjoy it. But working so many hours and trying to have a social life and do his hobbies is burning him out, he just needs a break.

Thank you for all the other replies, ill try and arm myself with some facts and speak to him about it tomorrow and encourage him to try and arrange and see higher up management. I just feel so sad for him seeing him shattered all the time, but also, absolutely livid that they are taking advantage of him. I was annoyed at Christmas as no one else was put on all of Christmas and new years, but he said he was happy to do it because of the extra pay, and that he would get more time off, which they are now saying they are taking off him.

They'd be pretty ignorant if they didn't though, especially considering he has ASD! Of course it's his family's business!

No, it really isn’t, because their duty of care is to their employee. Nobody else.

Not everyone has a good family or good people around them.

80 % of adults with ASD end up unemployed, is it any wonder with lack of support on offer for such people.

I don't think you can carry over statutory leave, you have to be able to take it! I think they will have to cope with him taking his statutory allowance off. In my (large, with proper HR procedures) organisation, managers get reminded when their staff have lots of leave left so they can encourage them to book it in good time.

@MelaniesFlowers - so because no everyone has a family to help, he should be precluded from any help. He's a vulnerable adult and sounds like he works damn hard. An employer would be stupid and totally ignorant not to listen to the family. I know of a couple of young adults in my time where the parents have stepped in when work issues have occurred, and these young people did not have ASD. Also these companies did both listen to what the family had to say.

They are taking advantage of him. He needs a new job.

Yes, if they refuse to treat him fairly, let him work somewhere he is appreciated. It will definitely be their loss!

I agree, but he does really enjoy it and doesn't want to change.

One of the other issues alongside the holiday is i have suggested he drops his contract to 37.5 hours, which is an option for him, and he wants to do that, so he is only working 3 days a week 3 weeks of a month, 4 shifts in one, but he is dismissed every time he asks. I know this is an option as i work at the same place, though with a different employer, i have spoken to staff on that contract who have changed.

Trying to get the 37.5 hour week sounds good. Can he put the request in writing? More difficult to ignore when something is put down in writing.

As a parent of an ASD young adult myself, YES I would step in!
You have been your sons advocate his whole life due to his disabilities - you need to keep being his advocate until (if ever) he can do it himself. Age is just a number - it doesn’t suddenly make him able to cope with things just because he goes from child to adult in numbers 🤷🏻‍♀️

👏👏👏👏 Yes ☝️Totally this! Excellent post