Would u step in and say something...?

[mumofteenss]

My son is 19, he started his first full time job last October. For context, my son is ASD though coped in mainstream schools, and severely dyslexic, i helped him with his application, dbs, all that kind of thing to get get the job. He very much needs support in certain admin related aspects of his life still. He also suffers from anxiety, and dislikes confrontation, hes very passive and often gets walked over by people taking advantage of this, i do my best to build his confidence and he has gotten better over the past few years or so, but still quite very passive with authority, such as management. Hes doing very well in his job, however, there are a few issues he is struggling to resolve.

The main one is annual leave. He has worked 48 hours a week since October. He does 4x12 shifts a weeks. He worked every bank holiday over Christmas,(christmas eve, day, boxing day and the monday bank holiday, same for new years) and in fairness to him was happy to do so, but he was told at the time working these days add an extra 7.5 hours of holiday for each one, to his accrued time. His accrued hours now sit at nearly 100 hours. Only, they are telling him that there is no available time so he cant have any time off, bar 1 day end of march, so he would work 3 days not 4 that week. They are saying they will carry over the statutory hours to next financial year, but not the bank holidays they would be lost, and then next available week off is the last week of JUNE. That means he will have worked 48 hours a week, for 9 months, with zero time off. The kid is exhausted, absolutely shattered all the time. And i have my suspicion they wont carry hours over as they wont put it in writing which i encouraged him to get.

Firstly, where does he stand with the time off, does anyone know?

Secondly, as a parent of a young adult who does requires that bit more support than average, would you step in and help?

Is it possible to to seek clarification about pay and time in leu via email (which you could help him with)?
Request replies via email.
If there's no satisfactory answer escalate to HR or higher management via email.
If a meeting is required to discuss he can request an advocate. Saying this gently but please consider, as his Mum whether you are the best placed to do this.

Absolutely worth getting a working knowledge of the employment legislation. Not to threaten legal action but just to mention so it's clear he (you) are aware of the law.

There is absolutely a potential legal case here, that is a route that nobody wants to go down but it sounds like his manager doesn't think that it's a risk and can trample over your sons rights. That perception needs to be changed.

@Noonesperfect It doesn’t matter how much you think they should, they do not need to.

They can, but they don’t have to. They only have a responsibility to the employee, not to the employees mum.

So the company would be well within their rights to politely tell OP it’s none of her business, because as far as they are concerned, it isn’t.

As a parent of an autistic child I would step in too. Does work know he's autistic?

If he is in over his head then you help him. He's unlikely to magically pick up these skills by losing his holiday. I am all for scaffolding my teens to advocate for themselves as much as physically possible, but if it's not possible then you give more help. This is how they learn, not by being denied holiday until they burn out.

I understand this is tricky and legally where he stands holiday wise I’m not too sure.
However what stood out to me was that
he should never have even been asked let alone agreed to work all the bank holidays over Christmas/New Year. Everyone knows that if you work one, you don’t work the other.
When that was first spoken to about that would have been the time to say no and stick to it.

I don't think you should step in and start negotiating on his behalf.
but
You can help him draft emails and help with research, collect all the written evidence you can, eg contacting ACAS and looking up the employment law and help him come up with prepared statements. If he has a union he could join, he absolutely should since they are able to give legal advice, send letters to management and attend meetings with him and this is very very effective.

they sound like exploiters but are a large company so they could easily put this right if they wanted to.

Apologies for the extremely long post, but we have been in a similar situation recently and I’m not sure I have any useful advice, but you are not alone with this.

I have an almost 21 year old ds who has ASD and suffers from anxiety.
Similar to your ds, he just about coped through school/college, but still needs a lot of support.

He did a supported internship with a large government organisation through the pandemic, but was let down by the college he did it through and none of the the interns in his intake were taken on, despite all the others before and since finding paid employment there. He was so happy and so well supported working there too and it left him hopeful he could find a good job where he would be happy, which led to him deciding against uni.

It took a long time for him to find a job. He got his first job in November and was so pleased to have found somewhere local, using his skills.

Ds is good at what he does and was constantly top of their leaderboard performance with 100% customer satisfaction (he saved his performance info so I know this is the case) but his team leader REALLY did not like him.
He was very much a ‘lads lad’ and made ds’ life hell from the getgo. Kept bringing him in for ‘reviews’ and ‘warning’ him that his probation period was at risk, despite him not having made any mistakes.

Two other lads started at the same time. One left of his own accord before the end of probation (ds since found out this is a common occurrence and they have staff retention issue) the other instantly became ‘buddies’ with the team leader and despite being constantly late (half an hour most mornings) and making a huge mistake that caused the company major problems with their biggest client, he passed his probation and was taken on. Ds on the other hand, had his probation significantly extended for very little, if any, justifiable reason. Then, during the extension the TL trumped up three charges out of one relatively small mistake that didn’t cause any issues for the company or their client and used it to manage him out. He was absolutely devastated.
They left him hanging for five days, including a weekend, while they ‘made their decision regarding his future’ having warned it may be termination, then had him work a whole day before calling him in just before closing time and dismissing him. His mental health took a massive hit, he would come home, curl up in a ball and sob, but his own rules wouldn’t let him leave. Essentially the TL made it clear they didn’t like ds because he is well spoken, lives somewhere they perceive as ‘posh’ and went to an independent school (he only went there because the LA funded a place when nowhere else could meet the terms of his EHCP). I think he made up his mind from the first day that he would get rid of him.

Since he left we have found out the ‘in-crowd/clique’ were getting ds to pay for deliveroo lunches for multiple staff members and not paying him back. It cost him an absolute fortune and of course he now has no income, plus no chance of a decent reference thanks to the way they trumped up (essentially falsified) the error that led to them terminating his probation, so little chance of getting another job.

He has evidence ‘including recordings of the meetings, which prove they falsified meeting transcripts’ proving they got rid of him under false pretences, despite, apparently, meeting employment guidelines, but there’s no way he could cope with taking them to a tribunal. They were a small local business, so no proper HR department, but did have a member of staff whose job it seems was to make sure they covered their arses with regard to employment law, whilst still being able to bully and screw over employees.

They have totally screwed his future, as they said they are willing to give a character reference only and will state the (falsified and trumped up) reason for dismissal should they be asked anything more for a reference. His only option now is to go to university and leave this job off his employment history, although he will still have problems explaining what he did with those months for jobs that require no gaps.

In the meantime he has applied for a couple of jobs with our local authority, as they are a Disability Aware employer. The SEND department works with a charity who aims to help young people with SEND get into employment and we are hoping that might ease the process as he has a contact with that charity, but it’s looking very like he will now be unemployed until next September, when, if he can get a place, he will hopefully go to a local uni.

The whole situation was horrendous, as his parents, we felt completely unable to protect him and it was like watching a car crash happen in slow motion. We advised him keeping records and helped him word emails, dh’s job means that he is well up on HR process and equality/employment rights, but ds didn’t want us to get involved, didn’t want to confront them and as we had no right to speak to them, we just had to be there and support him as best we could. After years of fighting for him and making sure he got everything he needed in terms of health/education support it was both frustrating and heartbreaking, but ultimately we had no choice, even if ds wanted us to get involved, the company wouldn’t have spoken to us and I suspect if we had spoken to them it would just have made things worse (if that’s even possible).

To be honest, it has left us extremely concerned for his future.
We had all been hopeful that in the right job he would be fine, but how do you know beforehand if it is the right job or what the people are like. He was totally played by the bullies in that company and it has seriously affected his mental health.

Employment law/equality/disability rights offer little protection if the employee can’t or won’t access and use them and then of course, if you/they do kick up a fuss, it can affect their chances of future employment elsewhere. He was so hopeful that he had left bullying behind with his school days, but no, these disgusting excuses for adults, just perpetuated the nasty ablist crap and he has completely lost faith in people all over again.

It feels like he is always going to be taken advantage of and we will be powerless to protect him. I am going to look into whether or not we can find some sort of advocate to help him in future and he will only apply for jobs with large, registered disability aware companies, I have no idea how that will play out, but all we can do is be here and support him.

I wish you and your ds the best and hope he manages to find a way to navigate his employment without being taken advantage of.

As a previous op advised have a look at the vulnerable adult act, Adult support and protection. ASD is a recognised disability and he may well meet the criteria for ASP. If so the company are breaking the disability discrimination act and they should know that.
for everyone saying do not intervene I’ll assume that you do not have children/ young adults with ASD.
Lets all help and protect those with disabilities in the workplace.

Well this company obviously don't care about their employees rights! Anyway just because they have the right to be ignorant doesn't mean they will be. Surely it's worth a try. Also autism is classed as a disability allowing him an advocate to help him navigate the workplace could be considered reasonable adjustment as per the law on disability! They could get in a lot of trouble for not taking extra consideration into account.

Relation is senior payroll practitioner. When this issue came up with another relation's work, the SPP said holiday of any description has to be carried over if it can't be fitted in by the employer. (If the employer can fit it in but employee doesn't want the holiday then, the holiday can be lost).

Applezinger

I feel for you . I worked in retail and saw how certain members of staff got rid os staff they didn't like including people with special needs .
One came to me in tears and I supported them making a complaint which came back on me being branded a trouble maker . The other person concerned luckily had a sister who was a solicitor so it was quickly stamped on .
That is awful that they cheated him out of money paying for deliveries.
These companies should be named and shamed .

Ds asked for someone to attend the meetings with him, the only person that treated him with any respect there. They did agree to attend them, unfortunately, although they were sympathetic, they were too worried about how it would come back on them and their own job security if they actively stood up for him for them to speak up.

Dh says, no matter how robust employment law, equality rights etc seem to be, a canny enough HR type person can always work loopholes and find ways to screw people legally. They needed three infractions to get rid of ds, he made one small mistake and they trussed it up into three different points, two of which were totally invalid. I suspect ds would win at tribunal, but he doesn’t want to go there and probably couldn’t cope with it now his mental health is in tatters.

Ds was a good, hard and reliable worker, he just didn’t ‘fit-in’ and he is acutely aware of that. He used to quote the, frankly appalling, unemployment statistics for people with ASD in the UK to me and I would tell him that wasn’t going to be him, he has good qualifications, is a hard worker etc and there are laws to protect employment. I feel like I have let him down and sold him a lie. He is so down about his future now, it’s absolutely heartbreaking.

My adult sons are in the same boat and I have had to step in and help. Firstly send an email to HR with your son copied in giving them permission to speak with you. Once they have that you can support him. Copy him in on every email. He is entitled to the time off or be paid for it if they don't have the capacity as a business to give him the time off. You are right though, he needs a break. I would lean on the health card and also get advice from ACAS.

It might also make sense to arrange a teams meeting with HR or your sons line manager so that you can sit in on the meeting as support.

Applezinger

Every thing you said is correct. Canny people who sucked up to HR who got them out of trouble. It used to sicken me that's some people got away with sackable offences , and yes HR good at exploiting loop holes for example if certain people went sick they took it as unpaid leave thus avoiding triggering. They took a lot of time off that way . Just one example , yet some people who were disliked / discriminated against made a small mistake and it was magnified out of all proportion and were given warnings .

Next time your son gets employment read up on their company policy also the Acas website is a good read . Get him to document everything . Keep a work diary . If he makes a complaint start a paper trail . Another good thing to do is to sit back quietly and observe the other staff , note who the trouble makers are and try to go under the radar . Make a point of getting in with people in positions of power . It takes time to figure this stuff out .

To be sure someone saw your son as a threat , someone smarter than them . A lot of these people are very good at delegating and taking credit for others hard work. They can't actually do the job .

Reassure your son that karma will catch up with these people and the wheels will come off the bus

Good luck to your son .