Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

WIBU to block my neighbour in?

56 replies

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:07

At the back of my house, the land is all private. I own the entire plot adjacent to my house although the middle is a "right of way" for my neighbours. I moved into my house 5 years ago and the man who lives at back thought he owned my land which he clearly didn't according to the deeds. He made it difficult for us to park there and always hurled abuse if I we had visitors that parked there.

He tipped me over the edge when I was 8 months pregnant and he parked his car so close to mine that I couldn't get into my driver's side and could not hop over being heavily pregnant therefore me and husband got solicitors involved. The solicitor wrote to him (even though we'd tried this ourselves previously with no response) and he eventually responded telling them he won't do it again. The solicitor said they can't take it further as he said he won't do it again.

Since then we haven't had many issues as we avoided parking there. I have a garage I park in and there's public parking at the front of the house. His visitors always parked on my land but I let it be as I wasn't using it or needing it at the time. It did however bug me as he's never asked or even been nice to us.

Today, I reversed my car out of the garage and stopped on the part of my land next to his house. I was setting up my navigation and music then he arrived and blocked me in and therefore I couldn't leave the area. He just sat there for a good 20 minutes, I was too scared to get out and talk to him. I called my husband who then arrived and asked him to move forward as there was plenty of space to get past into his garden (that he has turned into a drive before we moved there). He refused and said there wasn't enough space. My husband then told me to park my car in the garage again so he could go past and just let it go for now. I did that and then went out and told him that the middle is right of way but the end land is my land. He started mimicking my accent and then made a racist remark about Indians taking all the land (I am British born, my parents are Indian, he is a White caucasian man).

I have had racism hurled at me before but there was just no need for this. It has really upset me. I want to go park my car in front of his (I have a day off work tomorrow so no need to move it) but on my part of the land. My husband is saying not to as two wrongs don't make a right. My husband wants me to report the racism to the police (I have it recorded on my dashcam); I don't think anything will happen as there was no physical violence.

Would I be unreasonable to block his car in?

OP posts:

Idontevenknow · 19/02/2023 19:09

I think your husbands advice is the same that I would give. Go the appropriate channels- and absolutely report for racism

JustDrama · 19/02/2023 19:12

Don't put up with this anymore. By ignoring him parking there in the passed is letting him think he is in the right. Report and every time he parks there's ask him to move.

Is there anyway you can fence it off to make it more difficult for him to use it?

Lambchop1 · 19/02/2023 19:12

Report it to the police immediately. This man has to be visited by the police to understand the severity of his actions. You should not have to live like this, and he must be told this is abusing behaviour .

BronnauMawrion · 19/02/2023 19:14

Absolutely report the racism! What a horrible man.

But also, Mumsnet "rules" require a diagram 😉

Iknownononono · 19/02/2023 19:14

YABU to not report his racism to the police.

I wouldn't block him in unless you set up CCTV first to record him causing damage, and also keep in mind you can't violate his access rights.

"Since then we haven't had many issues as we avoided parking there. I have a garage I park in and there's public parking at the front of the house. His visitors always parked on my land but I let it be as I wasn't using it or needing it at the time. It did however bug me as he's never asked or even been nice to us."

How long has this been going on? If you continue like this then you could end up with him having the right to continue doing it.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 19/02/2023 19:14

You're not being unreasonable, but I think it'll backfire and you'll just antagonise him and make things worse. I'd report him though.

Patchworksack · 19/02/2023 19:15

Report the racism as you have evidence. Is it worth speaking to solicitor again about the right of way and whether there is any way to stop him using your land otherwise?

TheGuv1982 · 19/02/2023 19:16

Report the racism, especially if it’s filmed. He’s fucked.

then seek advice about what to do about access to the land that you own, especially in terms of blocking it off.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 19/02/2023 19:18

Stop fannying about with the parking, it’ll only escalate with idiots like this, and absolutely report the racist prick to the police.

GoodChat · 19/02/2023 19:18

I would report the racism then speak to the solicitor again.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 19/02/2023 19:19

He isn't being a twat. He is being a racist twat. Something that the police will def act upon. So it tonight op. Can you fence off enough land so he can't park there?

grumpycow1 · 19/02/2023 19:19

I only said YABU to blocking him in as he may get violent. While it would be momentarily satisfying he sounds a psycho and it’s not worth it.

YANBU reporting him to the police though. Please please do so. It is a hate crime and he deserves to be arrested. Please consider it, also he is clearly ignoring the solicitor instructions so maybe go back and ask them for advice?

Pringleface · 19/02/2023 19:33

BronnauMawrion · 19/02/2023 19:14

Absolutely report the racism! What a horrible man.

But also, Mumsnet "rules" require a diagram 😉

A pregnant woman has been subject to racist abuse by her neighbour and you think it’s appropriate to ask for a diagram? This clearly isn’t a typical MN parking thread. Use your brain.

AliceOlive · 19/02/2023 19:34

Report it. Obviously just hearing from a solicitor scared him into behaving. Hearing from the police should really stop him from behaving like this.

VirtualRealitee · 19/02/2023 19:37

As with every single post about racism (and there have been tonnes in the last week and a half??), I would say definitely report, especially as you have video footage.

LakeTiticaca · 19/02/2023 19:38

Blocking him in Will probably inflame the situation. Take your dashcam evidence to the police. If you don't have CCTV covering your property, have it fitted.

Is their any way you can fence off your land to stop him using it?

NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 19/02/2023 19:39

I voted YABU for not reporting the racism. That’s clearly what this is all about.

GoodChat · 19/02/2023 19:43

@Pringleface it's always appropriate to ask for a diagram

kittenkipping · 19/02/2023 19:44

Absolutely follow your husbands advice. Report the racism as the hate crime it is. Yes he won't be sent to prison or anything but he will be reprimanded and if he's been racist and reported previously the consequences will increase. It will also mean if he's racist again to some other poor woman if she reports him your report will mean the police can see the pattern of behaviour. These dicks shouldn't get away with it. He's a foul being and the only reason I'd not block him in is fear of escalation. I would report and then look into finding a way to block his access to your land.

Pterrydactyl · 19/02/2023 19:46

It’s my understanding that it’s an offence to park so that you’re blocking someone in.

So I’d check that before you do it, in case he uses that to cause bother for you with the police.

However, your DH’s suggestion to report the racism definitely sounds sensible, especially as you have dashcam footage of it.

Is it possible to fence off the land at all?

Grumpybutfunny · 19/02/2023 19:47

Report the racism as a hate crime and go get some picket fencing or plant pots for the non right of way area if you don't need it as parking. I would be tempted to get ring CCTV set up aswell.

User0ne · 19/02/2023 19:50

It's racial harassment OP - you should report it. Have you considered that this may have been his issue all along?

Original poster

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:52

Not sure how to edit my first post, I've added a diagram below. The red part is all my land, the blue part being my house with the garage under it. The green squiggles is the parking area for me and my next door neighbour only. The issue is with the dude who lives at the houses numbered 10 and 12 (that is all one property). The deeds say they have access where the purple line is but only to pass and not to park which is what my solicitor told him and he agreed with. When I was pregnant, he parked where the green squiggles are and where his visitors now park. They should either park on his drive (the area in front of the houses marked 10 and 12) or at the end of the purple line on the street. There are houses next to me that don't appear on this deed as my house was built first.

I do not currently have the finances to get a solicitor involved again. They told me if it had to go to Court, initial fees would be near £10k and it would rise depending on what happened. If I wanted a surveyor to come and put boundary markings up, I was quoted £6k. This is why I have not currently fenced anywhere as it's a bit of an odd area as part of it is right of way.

I am going to report the racism now as that appears to be the general consensus.

OP posts:

Original poster

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:53

Forgot to add, we have CCTV covering the back. I have kept most of the footage of when he and his visitors have parked there in case I was in a financial position to open another dispute.

OP posts:

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 19/02/2023 19:56

Report the racist prick to the police.

Flip

1 2 3