Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to block my neighbour in?

56 replies

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:07

At the back of my house, the land is all private. I own the entire plot adjacent to my house although the middle is a "right of way" for my neighbours. I moved into my house 5 years ago and the man who lives at back thought he owned my land which he clearly didn't according to the deeds. He made it difficult for us to park there and always hurled abuse if I we had visitors that parked there.

He tipped me over the edge when I was 8 months pregnant and he parked his car so close to mine that I couldn't get into my driver's side and could not hop over being heavily pregnant therefore me and husband got solicitors involved. The solicitor wrote to him (even though we'd tried this ourselves previously with no response) and he eventually responded telling them he won't do it again. The solicitor said they can't take it further as he said he won't do it again.

Since then we haven't had many issues as we avoided parking there. I have a garage I park in and there's public parking at the front of the house. His visitors always parked on my land but I let it be as I wasn't using it or needing it at the time. It did however bug me as he's never asked or even been nice to us.

Today, I reversed my car out of the garage and stopped on the part of my land next to his house. I was setting up my navigation and music then he arrived and blocked me in and therefore I couldn't leave the area. He just sat there for a good 20 minutes, I was too scared to get out and talk to him. I called my husband who then arrived and asked him to move forward as there was plenty of space to get past into his garden (that he has turned into a drive before we moved there). He refused and said there wasn't enough space. My husband then told me to park my car in the garage again so he could go past and just let it go for now. I did that and then went out and told him that the middle is right of way but the end land is my land. He started mimicking my accent and then made a racist remark about Indians taking all the land (I am British born, my parents are Indian, he is a White caucasian man).

I have had racism hurled at me before but there was just no need for this. It has really upset me. I want to go park my car in front of his (I have a day off work tomorrow so no need to move it) but on my part of the land. My husband is saying not to as two wrongs don't make a right. My husband wants me to report the racism to the police (I have it recorded on my dashcam); I don't think anything will happen as there was no physical violence.

Would I be unreasonable to block his car in?

OP posts:
gettingalifttothestation · 19/02/2023 19:57

I wouldn't start playing games with the parking but I would report him to the police for racism

gettingalifttothestation · 19/02/2023 19:58

Also could you put fencing up to clearly define your land

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 19/02/2023 20:06

Before I got to the end of your post I thought you should go to the police. He has racially abused and intimidated you and this is a police matter

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 19/02/2023 20:10

I would put fencing/ gate up to more clearly demark your boundary - make it a separate part of your garden.

justgettingthroughtheday · 19/02/2023 20:12

Does he have right of way for a vehicle or just on foot? If the latter put up fences and cctv with a foot gate giving him access

Hesma · 19/02/2023 20:21

Don’t block him… that will only make him feel justified in his parking pettiness. Do report the racism… especially if you have dashcam footage to prove it. I’m sorry this has happened to you OP 💐

growgrowinggrown · 19/02/2023 20:24

If he's parking on private property throw up a few signs with your daily rates and clamp him if he doesn't pay 😉

We have a very similar set up at the back and I ended up fencing it off. Pissed me off a fair bit as it made it harder to park but I just learned to reverse in instead which worked for us.

Enjoyed watching his face when he realised what we were doing, he popped a poison pen letter through the door not realising we have a ring doorbell.
Wasn't expecting my husband to return it to him with a cheery smile.

The racism is totally unacceptable, I think a visit from the police might shock him into stopping acting like such a dick.

Dibbydoos · 19/02/2023 20:24

Find appropriate signage. Parking requests to be made to no. XYZ but permission to park is not guaranteed. Any cars parked without agreement are trespassing. This is a right of way on. No abc has right of way only on this land.
My neighbours decided my land next to their driveway was good for them to park on. I put my house number on the fence and told them Im good for them to park there but only if they have visitors as I ocassionally need the space - we are a household with 4 cars. Theyve been great ever since but then, I look white (immixed race) and theyre Asian, so it's all good, we're equal!

I hate white privilege it ps me off and racism, like sexism is a huge waste of time, stupid and irrelevant. You should talk to the police about the racism., doing what he did to you when you were pregnant is sexism too. He needs taking down a peg or two, but whether the police will take action or not is anyone's guess. ref blocking him in, I wouldn't add oil to a fire, but your signage should put him in his place!

Pumpkin20222 · 19/02/2023 20:24

Report the racism, the harassment and him blocking you in. Tempting as it may be, do not sink to his level and block him in as it may give him a legitimate complaint against you.
Sorry you have to deal with this - horrible man.

Socrateswasrightaboutvoting · 19/02/2023 20:24

Hesma · 19/02/2023 20:21

Don’t block him… that will only make him feel justified in his parking pettiness. Do report the racism… especially if you have dashcam footage to prove it. I’m sorry this has happened to you OP 💐

Can you put up some bollards if fencing is too expensive. I absolutely not let a racist use my land. Definitely report.

Cocobutt · 19/02/2023 20:32

YABU to block him in as that’s stooping to his level.

I would report the racist remark though.

Then I’d report him every single time so there is a pattern.

If he blocks you in or says anything rude then tell him there is cctv and that you’ll be reporting him.

He sounds like a coward and just the mention of being reported should scare him.

Its s shame there’s a right of way in the middle as I’d have said block it off.

Mumalli · 19/02/2023 20:45

So glad you are reporting the racism. A call from the police might be enough to stop him doing it again 🤞🏼

NoGoodUsernamee · 19/02/2023 20:48

Why would you block him in if you’re not willing to confront him but ask your husband to? You’re just going to antagonise him & probably get your husband into some sort of feud. I agree you should report the racism though, that is really not on.

ittakes2 · 19/02/2023 20:50

report the racism to the police and don't do anything that could be seen as two wrongs don't make a right. I once rang the police when my son was getting send indian memes through the play station by a 10 year old - the police said if I gave his name they would be required to visit him...I choose not to give his name and the police said to ask the headmaster to speak to this child instead. Racism is a hate crime and taken seriously by the police.

hennaoj · 19/02/2023 20:51

Can you put some big flower pots/boulders on the edge of the bit he's parking on or even plant some nice, cheap fruit trees all over that bit of land?

Judgyjudgy · 19/02/2023 20:52

Socrateswasrightaboutvoting · 19/02/2023 20:24

Can you put up some bollards if fencing is too expensive. I absolutely not let a racist use my land. Definitely report.

Show quote history

This. He's an asshole anyway bit the racism has totally crossed the line. Report him and block the land so he can't use it. What a prick.

whynotwhatknot · 19/02/2023 21:04

why do you think the police wont do anything racism is a crime and you have evidence of it

dont go blocking him in just report him and tell himthroug solicitors again you dont want him or his visitors parking on hyour land

vipersnest1 · 19/02/2023 21:08

Start using your land (the non-right of way part) to park in.
Record him each and every time he approaches you if you do.
In all of this, remember you have the CCTV footage plus that on your phone to back you up.
I highly doubt that he would do anything physical to you - bullies like that just don't, so don't let the fear of that put you off. I understand your worries, but at some point you need to draw your line in the sand or he will take more and more from you, possibly eventually leading to you not using your garage or land - don't let that happen.
The reason why I'm advising you to do this now, is that it would seriously go against him if he did anything while you're pregnant and if you leave it, you will have a baby to think about too.
I would also consider the suggestions of others to mark out the part of your land which is yours only (no right of way). Whilst you say you can't afford for a surveyor to come out, if you put the shoe on the other foot you can tell him that if he can prove you've marked it wrongly, you will gladly move the markers - and then he will have to pay for a surveyor.
Good luck

OhwhyOY · 19/02/2023 21:09

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:07

At the back of my house, the land is all private. I own the entire plot adjacent to my house although the middle is a "right of way" for my neighbours. I moved into my house 5 years ago and the man who lives at back thought he owned my land which he clearly didn't according to the deeds. He made it difficult for us to park there and always hurled abuse if I we had visitors that parked there.

He tipped me over the edge when I was 8 months pregnant and he parked his car so close to mine that I couldn't get into my driver's side and could not hop over being heavily pregnant therefore me and husband got solicitors involved. The solicitor wrote to him (even though we'd tried this ourselves previously with no response) and he eventually responded telling them he won't do it again. The solicitor said they can't take it further as he said he won't do it again.

Since then we haven't had many issues as we avoided parking there. I have a garage I park in and there's public parking at the front of the house. His visitors always parked on my land but I let it be as I wasn't using it or needing it at the time. It did however bug me as he's never asked or even been nice to us.

Today, I reversed my car out of the garage and stopped on the part of my land next to his house. I was setting up my navigation and music then he arrived and blocked me in and therefore I couldn't leave the area. He just sat there for a good 20 minutes, I was too scared to get out and talk to him. I called my husband who then arrived and asked him to move forward as there was plenty of space to get past into his garden (that he has turned into a drive before we moved there). He refused and said there wasn't enough space. My husband then told me to park my car in the garage again so he could go past and just let it go for now. I did that and then went out and told him that the middle is right of way but the end land is my land. He started mimicking my accent and then made a racist remark about Indians taking all the land (I am British born, my parents are Indian, he is a White caucasian man).

I have had racism hurled at me before but there was just no need for this. It has really upset me. I want to go park my car in front of his (I have a day off work tomorrow so no need to move it) but on my part of the land. My husband is saying not to as two wrongs don't make a right. My husband wants me to report the racism to the police (I have it recorded on my dashcam); I don't think anything will happen as there was no physical violence.

Would I be unreasonable to block his car in?

I see you're planning to report the racism, I definitely think you should and hope that will get him in line. If it doesn't, extreme solution but if it were me unless it was my dream house I'd be considering moving. A house I rented once had a very similar setup with weird access and it meant the next door neighbour constantly driving or walking past our kitchen window and staring in, plus dramas over where we could park etc given the access route was very narrow and we had three cars at the time (had family temporarily living with us). It was a total nightmare, and when we moved out the landlady tried to sell the house but couldn't because of the access issue. Apparently if there's been a legal dispute over access etc then you have to report it as part of the selling process. So despite lots of interested buyers no one would sign on the dotted line. Beautiful old house, shame.

So I'd think about selling before it got to the point of needing to go through a legal process that might affect a future sale. But hopefully reporting him to the police will put him back in his box so you don't have to worry about all of this.

SchoolTripDrama · 19/02/2023 21:19

talulahharmony · 19/02/2023 19:07

At the back of my house, the land is all private. I own the entire plot adjacent to my house although the middle is a "right of way" for my neighbours. I moved into my house 5 years ago and the man who lives at back thought he owned my land which he clearly didn't according to the deeds. He made it difficult for us to park there and always hurled abuse if I we had visitors that parked there.

He tipped me over the edge when I was 8 months pregnant and he parked his car so close to mine that I couldn't get into my driver's side and could not hop over being heavily pregnant therefore me and husband got solicitors involved. The solicitor wrote to him (even though we'd tried this ourselves previously with no response) and he eventually responded telling them he won't do it again. The solicitor said they can't take it further as he said he won't do it again.

Since then we haven't had many issues as we avoided parking there. I have a garage I park in and there's public parking at the front of the house. His visitors always parked on my land but I let it be as I wasn't using it or needing it at the time. It did however bug me as he's never asked or even been nice to us.

Today, I reversed my car out of the garage and stopped on the part of my land next to his house. I was setting up my navigation and music then he arrived and blocked me in and therefore I couldn't leave the area. He just sat there for a good 20 minutes, I was too scared to get out and talk to him. I called my husband who then arrived and asked him to move forward as there was plenty of space to get past into his garden (that he has turned into a drive before we moved there). He refused and said there wasn't enough space. My husband then told me to park my car in the garage again so he could go past and just let it go for now. I did that and then went out and told him that the middle is right of way but the end land is my land. He started mimicking my accent and then made a racist remark about Indians taking all the land (I am British born, my parents are Indian, he is a White caucasian man).

I have had racism hurled at me before but there was just no need for this. It has really upset me. I want to go park my car in front of his (I have a day off work tomorrow so no need to move it) but on my part of the land. My husband is saying not to as two wrongs don't make a right. My husband wants me to report the racism to the police (I have it recorded on my dashcam); I don't think anything will happen as there was no physical violence.

Would I be unreasonable to block his car in?

The racism was a hate crime. It absolutely CAN be actioned by police. Please report

CloudSunLeavesCoud · 19/02/2023 21:27

I’d report. It sounds like harassment from your description of all these different incidents of him trepassing on private land, blocking you in and hurling abuse. Sounds like it could be racially motivated too. Make sure you tell the police about all the incidents as well as todays racism and ask if it constitutes harassments. If the police don’t do anything try a solicitor to consider the harassment aspect and if there’s anything legally that can be done. Well done for getting it all documented on cctv and dashcam! Very good thinking!

Ponoka7 · 19/02/2023 21:35

If you block him in it will be tit-for-tat. Report the intimidation and racism.

Yfory · 19/02/2023 21:38

Is there anyway you could put plant pots to block access to some of the land? And some of those posts that block access (with a key to lower them so you can access the space) Sympathies op, I had a neighbour like this - arrogant so and sos. I definitely wouldnt let his visitors park there.

bellabasset · 19/02/2023 21:50

The parking is a legal issue so check your buildings and household insurance for legal cover. If you do have it ask them to clarify the access to the neighbour and that he cannot use your land for private parking for his visitors. You and your adjoining neighbour could put a sign there saying 'Private Parking Nos' If you want to sell it's sensible to ensure he can't claim rights by default

The racism would then be dealt by the police separately to the parking.

He sounds a nasty so and so

curlymom · 19/02/2023 21:50

How awful this must have been for you! How dare he tease you and act racist. Unacceptable. Call the police and council for antisocial behaviour. Hope you are feeling better x

Swipe left for the next trending thread