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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Extracurricular clubs for young children

56 replies

EmmaDilemma5 · 19/02/2023 16:24

AIBU to wonder if extracurricular activities really add value to young children? I guess I'm thinking 6 years old and under.

I feel a lot of pressure to send my children to clubs, but when I've tried before, they just don't get it. They try but it ends up being a bit of a waste of time in terms of learning skills and socially they're still not really there yet.

They're also perpetually tired after Preschool/ school all week so I'm wondering; will my children miss out if I just don't bother until they're KS2 age and can choose what they actually want to do and have more energy and ability to enjoy it?

Will they be missing out?

OP posts:
Springintoabetterlife · 19/02/2023 16:27

It depends on what else they are already doing/are interested in. My 3 year old is only in school nursery so we do a couple of things in the afternoon which she really loves and have developed her confidence and gross motor skills.

MiniDinosaur · 19/02/2023 16:27

I’m guessing responses will be split as lots of parents feel that several extra curricular activities are essential, but I feel the same as you, and after a long school day they need downtime. I think one a week max is ideal.

Springintoabetterlife · 19/02/2023 16:28

My yr 1 child does too many clubs, swimming (the one I insist on), an instrument, beavers and then whatever is happening at school. I highly recommend beavers.

SnowyPetals · 19/02/2023 16:33

I think it depends why you're doing them. The "skills" type ones like swimming, rugby, musical instruments I think are better from about 7+ as they are more coordinated and better at following instructions, but the more "fun" ones like Rainbows and Beavers are quite good for social skills when they're younger.

BeeBB · 19/02/2023 16:34

My two DC both did swimming from around
age 3 which was absolutely invaluable for holidays abroard. Around that age DD also did dancing and Rainbows and DS did football and cubs but then I only worked part time. But I think very much more than this would be too much for a 6 year old.

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 19/02/2023 16:35

My daughter has always done something outwith education; at 3 she asked to go to gymnastics so we took her for about two years, she then wanted to do rugby so she started that at 5 and did that for a year, and then she switched to swimming.

Our rule is that she does one sport at all times - it can be any sport, she picks herself, but she must stick at it for at least a year. She’s not naturally sporty so we want to encourage her. Now that she’s doing swimming, the rule is she has to keep going til she can swim at least one length, regardless of how long it takes - if she wants to keep going after that she can.

She also does some random bits on top - she is doing Makaton through the school right now. She also goes to brownies. She does a dance class in school at lunch too.

My daughter loves trying now things so we are following her lead; if she didn’t enjoy it or it was outwith our budget we would stop.

MooseBreath · 19/02/2023 16:36

Depends on interests, really. A kid who loves structure and dancing would probably benefit by taking a Ballet class. A kid who has an excess of energy and enthusiasm for sport would likely fare well in a Football or Rugby club. A shy kid who would rather spend time doing unstructured quiet play alone likely wouldn't enjoy a Theatre class.

Original poster
EmmaDilemma5 · 19/02/2023 16:38

BeeBB · 19/02/2023 16:34

My two DC both did swimming from around
age 3 which was absolutely invaluable for holidays abroard. Around that age DD also did dancing and Rainbows and DS did football and cubs but then I only worked part time. But I think very much more than this would be too much for a 6 year old.

My local group says Beavers is 6-8yr olds, which is too old for my kids. Does this differ nationally?

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 19/02/2023 16:39

Depends on the child. My older one needs more physical exercise than she gets at school and with younger DC in tow I can't do enough with her myself. So she does gymnastics, tennis and a multisports thing.

Did nothing in reception as too tired.

Younger one seems similar, he does preschool plus gymnastics and a multisport club.

Both do junior parkrun and older one also does parkrun.

I've chosen activities that aren't focussed on competition, just on general co-ordination.

LizzieBet14 · 19/02/2023 16:44

I think 1 club a week from 5 years old is ok. Swimming is good to start young & only about 30 mins. In terms of other sports eg football, dance, gymnastics they probably are at a disadvantage if they wait til their older.
Rainbows & Brownies are great!

Minimochi · 19/02/2023 16:45

DS is 6 and goes to after school club three days a week. He does attend clubs there. One is "Active Games", the other "Nintendo" and then he has one day where he just has free play. I also take him to his swimming lesson one day a week. His school doesn't finish until 4pm, so it can be hard to find activities for him after school. A lot is offered as part of wraparound care at his school, though. He gets to choose what he wants to do there.
We don't have cubs here. I think there's Scouts but that's for older kids.

MadamArcati99 · 19/02/2023 16:45

randomsabreuse · 19/02/2023 16:39

Depends on the child. My older one needs more physical exercise than she gets at school and with younger DC in tow I can't do enough with her myself. So she does gymnastics, tennis and a multisports thing.

Did nothing in reception as too tired.

Younger one seems similar, he does preschool plus gymnastics and a multisport club.

Both do junior parkrun and older one also does parkrun.

I've chosen activities that aren't focussed on competition, just on general co-ordination.

What? How is tennis not competitive? The whole point is to beat your opponent!

Theelephantinthecastle · 19/02/2023 16:47

I think a lot of people aren't clear on why they are doing them. But for us, we do swimming because it's an important life skill and makes holidays more fun. And then we are keen to get our kids in the habit of being physically active as it is an important thing for long term health so they also do a sport each.

The 6 yo also does Beavers just because he likes it and some additional after school clubs at school but those are really because it's either that or he would be in the after school club anyway so it's nice for him to do something else first.

Unlike a lot of posters on Mumsnet, I don't find that mine are so exhausted after school that they don't have the energy

Nausrous · 19/02/2023 16:50

The best thing for our quiet DS has been Cubs. It has helped with self esteem, teamwork building, making new friends out of school and lots of woodwork / crafts which have been amazing for small hypermobile hands. They've done a 5k run, bike rides and kayaking!

The school has even commented on how he's more confident to speak up in class, answer questions and he even read a poem in assembly.

Our cubs is £10 a month.

DS also tried karate, football, rugby, tennis and hated them all. Dance club was bonkers and too arty.

Smoothlines · 19/02/2023 16:52

We did things that were easy for us as a family to do at that age. Mine did swimming lessons from an early age -the pool is about one minute from our front door. Again, gymnastics- at the same leisure centre-very easy for us. Other things we did were one-offs, not a big commitment. Things like ballet were much later -six and under is way too young.

Smoothlines · 19/02/2023 16:55

Nausrous · 19/02/2023 16:50

The best thing for our quiet DS has been Cubs. It has helped with self esteem, teamwork building, making new friends out of school and lots of woodwork / crafts which have been amazing for small hypermobile hands. They've done a 5k run, bike rides and kayaking!

The school has even commented on how he's more confident to speak up in class, answer questions and he even read a poem in assembly.

Our cubs is £10 a month.

DS also tried karate, football, rugby, tennis and hated them all. Dance club was bonkers and too arty.

But surely you can’t join Cubs at age six and under.

hoardod · 19/02/2023 16:57

I think it depends on the child, mine have been doing them since 5 but starting with 45 mins & they weren't tired enough! Once they hit 7 I introduced an instrument & weekend ones.

It also depends on the club mine have done sewing, art, debate, book club etc.

BendingSpoons · 19/02/2023 16:59

It depends on the child to a certain extent. DD7 did swimming from 3, dancing from 5, and now also does martial arts and gymnastics. I didn't want her doing more than 3 things, but she loves them all, apart from swimming, which is the one I feel she needs to keep up for now.

DS4 only does swimming. He is a homebody. He has done other toddler classes but prefers to be at home. He quite likes the swimming and would have to come to that anyway as DD is going. I'm not signing him up for anything else unless he asks me to.

hoardod · 19/02/2023 17:00

I don't count swimming as it's essential, mine did it from babies & go every week.

Badbudgeter · 19/02/2023 17:05

I think it’s quite child dependant. My younger two, twins, now 7 have had quite a full schedule for a couple of years. They do swimming lesson, rock climbing, ballet, musical theatre after school and Rugby on a Sunday. They are keen though and it’s sort of crept up. They still seem to have lots of energy.

We are fairly lucky and these are run by local leisure centre/ community charity and are comparatively cheap.

Tinseltown2 · 19/02/2023 17:10

My DS4 does swimming one night a week which is brilliant and I consider it to be essential for holidays etc. Other than that we're looking at him joining another club (either gymnastics or martial arts) after school and hopefully beavers once he turns 6 but I think there are long waiting lists round here unfortunately.

randomsabreuse · 19/02/2023 17:15

Tennis is competitive but the club mine go to focusses on co-ordination and co-operative rallying for the first couple of years. The main "competition" is keeping a rally going for the highest number of shots... 7 year old is just transitioning to a more competitive focus now!

I'm fine with competition in general but not before skills are acquired... And DD needs to learn to lose before exams become more important.

Nausrous · 19/02/2023 17:23

Smoothlines · 19/02/2023 16:55

But surely you can’t join Cubs at age six and under.

Show quote history

Well if it sounds suitable then look into forestry school style clubs. We have one nearby on Saturdays for younger kids. Use your noggin ;)

Mereduthisannoying · 19/02/2023 17:32

Cubs is 6-8 but in the past year a younger section (squirrels) has been introduced for 4 - 6. Not all groups have squirrels but your local scout district website will have details.

Leafytrees · 19/02/2023 17:34

I don't bother sending to clubs until at least 5 and established in reception, not knackered from it. Before that I just do nice things with them together.