Extracurricular clubs for young children

[EmmaDilemma5]

AIBU to wonder if extracurricular activities really add value to young children? I guess I'm thinking 6 years old and under.

I feel a lot of pressure to send my children to clubs, but when I've tried before, they just don't get it. They try but it ends up being a bit of a waste of time in terms of learning skills and socially they're still not really there yet.

They're also perpetually tired after Preschool/ school all week so I'm wondering; will my children miss out if I just don't bother until they're KS2 age and can choose what they actually want to do and have more energy and ability to enjoy it?

Will they be missing out?

For some reason in our area they let kids start Beavers from 5y 9mo

Beavers is 5y9mo with the age flex (similarly Cubs can be started as young as 7.5 or be in Beavers to 8.5yo). But 6yo is the "normal" age.

With Clubs at young age it can really depend on whats available locally and what your schedule is like... a child home at 3.30 each evening would get a lot more benefit from an activity than one in after school care until 6.30.

The sports clubs are nice introductions... for example the "mini minis" at DDs rugby club (U9-U7) do a bit of Touch rugby but mostly passing, teamwork skills etc.They practice for an hour. Its U10/U11 age it picks up (year 5/6 for English schools).
The All-stars cricket programme in the summer is good fun.

I have a friend whose Reception age daughter does an activity pretty much every night after school at around 5pm. I just...have no idea how the child copes with that. My 4 yr old DD is very tired after preschool and just needs to let off steam in the afternoons/evening in the garden or in the house. We have just started doing swimming on a weekend morning and usually have a pretty active Sunday, and every day of the week we are managing overtired-hyper / emotional type meltdowns. I don't think adding any more to our week would benefit anyone.

I think it depends on the child. My 4 year old currently does Rainbows, Ballet and Drama. She loves all of them, especially the performance elements and is about to starts Squirrels after Easter. She has a wish list of other activities including rock climbing (needs to be 5) and acro dance (I want her to move up a class in ballet first). I certainly don't think it does any harm and it's widened her social circle which given she'll go to a small village school is great. Plus she dances out of preschool full of beans. We'll review when she starts school but I can't see see changing. According to my mum I was relentless as a child (and as a teenager and still am in my 40s).

Her big brother does kickboxing, street dance, drama, beavers and plays for a local football team. He also started doing activities at 3 although as he's got older, his interests have changed but he also has a wishlist of extra stuff he wants to add in from paddle boarding to sea cadets when old enough.

Starting them early normalises activities which I think can be important. Of my eldest's peer group, its those who never started any activities who don't currently do them.

Very child dependant. My 5 yr old has done rugby tots every Saturday morning since he was 3.5 but that was all. He was too tired otherwise. My DD did this too when she was little as well as swimming and gymnastics. But she was never as exhausted as my DS.
The clubs we went to, apart from swimming were very free spirited with the kids, so they were not very strict about following structure, it was really all about fun. For me when under 6 many kids don't really need too much structure and many clubs and activities are too structured for young children for them to enjoy fully. However having said that I know that some children of that age that really like structure and need it, so it's totally dependant on the child.

It's normally beavers that is 6-8 and cubs 8-10.5. My 10 yr old is in cubs.

Guess it depends what they were interested in. At 6 my daughter wanted to do anything and everything and if she had her way would do something every day. But there's the issue of money and time.

She did swimming lessons as I'm a weak swimmer and it's a life skill that they aren't going to learn at school. She did dance as a toddler so carried that on. And when she was old enough, beavers as we had a very active pack by us and I think it's quite a well rounded activity doing all manor of activities and skill learning.

She's 11 now and has dropped swimming because she can do it but still does dance and scouts.

Depends on the kids. I have pushed my kids into clubs as otherwise they’re at home on iPads.

Mine are 8 and 7 and both do 4 clubs a week, football, gymnastics, cheerleading, brownies/beavers and swimming. It’s full on in the week but we don’t do anything weekends.

Personally I would push swimming as it’s such an important life skill and should be started as soon as possible.

I think it depends on the child...DS1 is an extrovert with the energy of a duracell bunny, I honestly wish we could afford more clubs just to tire him out!

I have sent my kids to a few extra curricular clubs since preschool, dance, gymnastics, football, Rainbows & Beavers. Dc1 lost interest in all but Beavers and in Ks2 is just showing an interest in trying a few sports. Dc2 &3 have done much more but we are having a summer off and only going to Beavers. I thought they would upset at the suggestion, but they can’t wait more time to play, bike ride and park after school. Looking forward to the financials of it too. Will review in the Autumn. Not bothered with Dc4 and probably won’t until year 2.

DD started swimming lessons at age 4 and that's the only non-negotiable for me. It's a physical activity and a vital life skill.

She goes to after school club three days a week so with that and swimming, I feel that's enough. If she was home from school at 3.30pm every day then there would definitely be time for other clubs.

My reception-age child does football and gym as he has bags of energy and the school PE lessons aren't really enough exercise for him. They are run at his school though, so it's just like an extra PE session tacked onto the end of the day. He also has a weekly swimming lesson.

During holidays/half-terms, we tend to book him in for a few different clubs/camps. He's tried theatre club, forest school, art club and a few different sports camps so far. Some he's enjoyed more than others and some he'd prefer not to go back to.

Agree that it depends on the child, and also the logistics. DD is in reception and does an activity every weeknight, and one Sunday class. Three weeknights are after school clubs based at her school (but run by professional organisations) so its just an extra 50 mins after school and no extra travel (school is a 5 min walk away, so she's home by 4.30). The other 2 nights I have to ferry her there, and the clubs start later and are much more tiring. I wouldn't be running around taking her to off site clubs every night. But the external classes are in skills which I value - swimming and Kodaly music, which needs to be taught at that age and can't wait until she's older.

She really enjoys them and I can't understand the claim that a child that age doesn't gain anything from them - she's certainly built on various specific skills (drama, dance, gymnastics) as well as more general social skills and confidence.

Of course they won't miss out! Just do what feels right for you and your family!

By 6, DS1 was swimming 4 times a week, was doing football and was in a gym class. All because that's what he wanted!

By age 6, DS2 was doing pretty much nothing! He was happy being at home and playing with his toys! We tried him with a few things, but extra activities weren't his thing!

All kids are different and will need different things. All families are different. Just do what feels right for you and your children.

Squirrels is 4-6 and beavers is 6-8 so they could do one of those?

It all depends what they are and on the child.

Try Squirrels which is the age below Beavers.

Mine did martial arts and swimming. Swimming is non negotiable, martial
arts they chose and still do it now. But it’s a great skill.

*They're also perpetually tired after Preschool/ school all week so I'm wondering; will my children miss out if I just don't bother until they're KS2 age and can choose what they actually want to do and have more energy and ability to enjoy it?

Will they be missing out?*

They won't miss out if they're not ready to enjoy clubs. Just wait until they express an interest, and then send them at that point. Despite what you may read on mumsnet, lots of children don't do extra curricular clubs until they're a bit older (and some not even then). Each child is an individual, and if they are always tired, there doesn't seem to be any benefit in pushing them to join clubs.

I think waiting until they're KS2 seems to be sensible, unless they particularly want to go to a club before then. However, depending on your area, if they might be interested in something such as cubs, I'd think about getting their name on a waiting list, as these sort of activities are often full.

Depends on the child.

Both of mine started swimming lessons at three, I am a non swimmer so swimming is non-negotiable in our house. My view is that swimming lessons will reach a natural conclusion once they complete the Learn to Swim program and then it will be up to the child if they then wish to continue swimming regularly.

My son is almost four and attends pre-school full time. He currently has a weekly 30 minute swimming lesson and plays football once a week. He will also be starting tennis lessons after Easter.

My daughter did Rainbows, swimming and ballet when she was in Reception. She became disinterested in ballet and quit after about 18 months - she just wanted to dance for fun but the dance school had started to push for the kids to do shows and exams.
She is now in year 3 and does swimming, football, tennis, badminton and Brownies. She wants to take up an instrument, but I have resisted so far as I’m unable to read music myself and don’t feel able to support with practice - she’ll need to be able to do it independently, We have agreed that she can have a look at what the school offer at the start of the next academic year.

Damn; wrote a long reply and then my phone froze and it disappeared. The gist below:

Swimming earlier the better, makes them more confident and reduces fear of water. We’ve been doing classes with DS (4) since he was a baby and will continue until he’s a very strong swimmer.

Also do ballet, Little Kickers (football) and French club (most on my non-working day). My view is they start languages too late in state school, so wanted to start him early to give him the strongest possible chance. I really regret not having a second language. The teacher is fun and it’s all songs, puzzles and games at this stage, no pressure.

Ballet was to help burn off energy and also give him the chance to do dancing. If he wants to drop it later I’ll let him, it’s his choice. He’s not keen on Little Kickers so will get him to carry on until he starts primary school, then will drop it if he’s still not interested. Neither DH nor I watch or play team sports, and we wanted to give him a chance to play something or at least try. I’ll try him with tennis and/or cricket when he’s older, but not rugby because of fear of injuries.

I’ll also put his name down for Beavers and get him to try and stick to at least one musical instrument. Despite what you’d think after reading this we’re not pushy or pressuring, I just want him to have the opportunity to try a few things and hopefully do well at at least one. I never got introduced to many hobbies and started swimming/Brownies/riding too late- consequently I always hated swimming and didn’t stick at anything. I don’t want that for DS, but when the time comes I’ll respect his choices and let him decide. But swimming is non negotiable.

DS5 (reception) does Swimming once a week, Art club after school once a week and tea club once a week where they tend to play sports.
That's enough for now but I'd love him to join scouts when he's a bit older.

DD2 does nothing but I have one day off a week with her and we often go Swimming.

I'm very reluctant to do regular weekend activities as we enjoy lots of family days out and seeing friends (activities aimed at them like parks, swimming, soft play, museums, baby gym etc).

My DD is 8 and has done stuff since aged 3. Plus swimming. She’s a busy and energetic child and now does 10+ hours of gymnastics a week. She has really gained in social skills I think. With her gymnastics she mixes with girls of various ages and they do partner work. It’s disciplined but also, creative. It’s given her a lot of confidence and independence

My local group says Beavers is 6-8yr olds, which is too old for my kids. Does this differ nationally?

No it doesn't differ nationally, but you said "waiting until KS2", and some dc turn 8 as they start KS2

Beavers officially start at 6, and stay until they are 8, but there is an allowance for them to be able to start after they are 5y9month if there is a good reason for it
Cubs are then 8 - 10.5
Squirrels is a relatively new section and there aren't anywhere near as many Squirrel Dreys as there are other sections for all sorts of good reasons. Squirrels are 4 - 6, but there are mixed feelings as to whether many groups want them.

Rainbows are 5y - 7 yrs
Brownies 7 - 10 yrs

Not sure when you start 'Anchor Boys' in the BB, or what the equivalent in GB is.

However, all of this depends on the personality of the child, on whether they have siblings or not, and on what time they get in from school and also what other things you do as a family at weekends.

The new Scouting section is called Squirrels and is for 4 and 5 year olds. That's worth joining if it's up and running in your area.

If you want to join Beavers at 6 get names on the waiting list as early as possible.

We also did swimming lessons at that age.

DS1 is about to turn 7 and does quite a few extra curricular things. Three of them are done in house at school, so he goes straight from lessons at 3:15 to clubs until 4:30 then gets picked up. He does beavers on one of those days as well, which he loves. He's making great friends and enjoys the activity day camps.
Rugby on a Sunday morning and once a month spends a Saturday at Forest/Bushcraft.

We stopped swimming because he was so tired going from school on the tube and walking to lessons and would just be an absolute mess. But doing the clubs at school he seems to enjoy - we now do intensive swimming lessons in school holidays instead.