To be bored to tears by men in online dating?

[Supernova23]

Because it's apparently impossible to meet someone organically now. So online it is. However, I can't get over how boring people are in their messaging. Literally, does any man type a message other than "how r u?", "wot u doing this weeknd?" and "wot u wearing?". Half of them are as thick as mince and can't string a sentence together.

How are people meeting other normal people that can hold a conversation on these apps?

Guardian soul mates. I know a few couples who've met on their. It's pricy which means generally people there are serious and committed about meeting someone.

Guardian Soulmates is no more! https://www.theguardian.com/help/insideguardian/2020/jul/01/guardian-soulmates-has-come-to-an-end

My best friend met her DH on there 10 years ago and mentioned the other day that it no longer exists, and what a pity that is for today's daters as most apps are dross...

I do kind of get where you're coming from but I am guilty of writing people off for things such as grammar offenses! In real life I'd never know if someone understood the apostrophe, not for ages anyway, so I'd get to know and like them first. Also, it's a pretty specialised form of communication. They may be very good irl. ....but you're right, Hello you, or How are you? is a all a bit lack lustre. I'm prepared to throw them a line initially to get the conversation going....or I was. I'm not looking at the moment.

Thick as mince 🤣

OLD sucks here as well. 🙌

I met my husband online eight years ago and he's one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. All the other men I've met were also pretty clever and witty so that's not my experience of online dating.

I couldn't date someone who's only stimulating conversation is "how r u?" Eugh.

Good luck, for the tens of idiots on there, they'll be a good one.

I don't think OLD is the same now as it was 8 years ago sadly.

Post 2020 it's just become a complete shitshow.

It's the literal worst. Where are the men who can hold a conversation?

Have only dipped tentatively into OLD-lite -ie Bumble incognito but not had the courage to actually meet anyone on there. Met a great man through a hobby but now that is ended I have joined 6S which arranges restaurant meals for 3 man and 3 women. Everyone pays for their own food and you just chats socially to them. Fun social outings and might even make friends with the other women - much lower stakes than OLD.

I just matched with a guy tonight, he asked what I was doing, I said listening to a podcast. The he suggested we "hang." It was 1:30am! I told him no and he asked for my number. So he could text me a picture of his 🍆, no doubt. 🙄

OLD is exactly the same as 9 years ago. I met exH on Match. Together 8 years. He is very intelligent. Met my now DP on Match too, he is also very intelligent and a great match for me.

Met my other half online, he is great, you just have to wade through the endless boring ones. It might take a while, but you only need one. Good luck.

Haha it's true.
But there are good guys too.
Keep looking :)

In my experience they’re either looking for instant sex and/or 19 year olds, even if they’re in their 40s/50s (yeah dream on fella. No 19 year old would be seen dead with a beer belly bozo).

Classic FM dating

If I were single, this is what I would do. Actually it sounds like fun! They should do a friends version, I would love it.

I tried OLD when I was like 21 (12 years ago). I only tried POF and it was god awful. Met my dp at work the same year.

The worst ones can’t even be arsed to hold a conversation. They are straight in there with ‘you got more photos?’.

Maybe I was lucky.

I met my DP of ten years on Match. I wasn’t looking for anything long term at the time, just a few dates or something (husband had left me for the OW, and was a single mum of 3DDs 6, 2 and 10mths - at the time I tried OLD).

Friends persuaded me to try OLD and he was the first and the only one I actually met in person.

I can honestly say my relationship DP is amazing and he has been an amazing step-dad to the DCs.

But to be honest he wasn’t particularly great at messaging 😂

Yes they would if he had loads of money

I find it best not to respond to any messages past 10pm. Even if its mid convo, make your excuses and leave/hold off on replies till morning. Otherwise you run the risk of ppl just wanting booty calls.

I will defend some men by saying... I know several 40 something men from w/c backgrounds who were possibly dyslexic or whose families weren't interested in encouraging their education; who went to rubbish secondary schools & left school early some with hardly any GCSEs or some even barely literate... yet they have gone on to have good practical careers & jobs such as plumber, supermarket manager, carpenter etc, which they excel at & earn decent money in, they are interested in current affairs which they follow on tv & online, they have various interests & hobbies; these particular men are generally kind hearted good company and um, the ones I am thinking of also sadly all have wives.
Their messaging skills DO leave a lot to be desired eg "how u hun" is standard but that does not reflect the actual reality of who these men are.

What I'm trying to say is please don't write off men of a certain age with poor messaging skills as they may have had a bad education like these men & may in fact be actually worth getting to know.

So many people are called Simon...

My male friend, 40, is looking but has 4 young children and has found he is only attracting women in their early 20s who seem to have a romantic idea of raising four children. The women his own age just dismiss as too much (which I would too to be fair!).

I met my DH on POF 7 years ago but my word, I had to wade through some horrendous people and develop the hide of a rhino. It's definitely not for the faint hearted!

Already attached.